Pregnant & he has low sexual desire

[Sumbl1ss]

We've been dating over a year an found out we were pregnant before our one year, we're more then happy, before that our sex life was 2x a day or so. I fell sick and it sort of killed it for a bit, now I'm out of that stage, let me tell you he works graveyard shifts and has a customer who sells and offers him weed, since our news and return of the job, he's been high almost every day for the past week or two. It's driving me insane! He comes in from work,goes online, we don't talk,my sons at school all day, an bf is stoned during that time, then sleeps till work at 10pm! He has anger issues and says harsh stuff that's said not to take personally, but I'm a sensitive person and I do,he rarely compliments me, we don't hang out or talk, I feel alone. But based on the no time and being high, (he doesn't seem to fully work when we try to get Busy, or need of sleep an weed make him too tired to finish..) he says he's over his 'prime' (he's now 31 an I'll be 23 in Dec) and he has what he's always wanted, a baby on the way. I don't believe that.. I see on his ipad he'll have a porn window up,sometimes not. But I feel he doesnt want to with me. And with insult from the past and nothing to erase those words, plus no time for me, I feel somethings a miss. Anyone else go through this-how did it turn out? Or anyone have ideas to help myself or us? I'm at a loss and this upsets me. I don't feel good about myself.

[Sumbl1ss]

thankyou Heatherm4! (and some others..)
I only gave as much detail so everyone knows where i'm coming from; and how the situation seems to be. i have nagged about the weed; i've made him cut down, and hold off for the day, and thats only the beginning. (my sons father, -we were young, mind you- seemed to be more interested in weed and hanging out then what i was doing, so this irritates me) i've ignored this whole porn thing.. i just asked what thoughts were as to why he might not be interested, he did note today that we're on different day schedules, since he works at night, and im busy and he'll be to tried. but i feel, if he was really still interested in me, then he would want to get busy at sometime.. he was worried for a bit in the pregnancy, when i wasnt ill and was up for it, i convinced him.. and maybe it is since hes already got me pregnant he doesnt need to really try, but i just cant see him being out of his prime because of his age. maybe hes having a hard time explaining things.. im not sure exactly why the weed has been a MUST for him.. but if doesnt end, something else surely will. and with my bitchy hormones, i dont mind letting him hear more of it!

[Heatherm4]

Honestly, he probably just isn't interested in sex because of the fact that you are actually pregnant. My husband was weirded out by the whole pregnancy and sex thing actually. I didn't take it personally as I kinda felt the same way for the very beginning and very end of my pregnancy.
Ladies- the porn thing isn't that bad of a thing. Seriously, a lot of men (and women) watch porn. It's probably the type of porn you should be concerned about. I personally don't watch it but know many people who do, and they aren't bad people!
The weed thing- he's only been doing it for the last couple weeks right? You just need to confront him and tell him how you feel straight up.
If he is verbally or emotionally abusive- that is probably the biggest problem you have and if that's the case then yes, then you should think about leaving or taking some councelling.
People do drugs as a way to phase out of their own lives, there's obviously a problem that he cannot cope with on his own so he is turning to getting high.
I think you both should start being really honest with eachother for the sake of your family and upcoming baby.

[Clysta]

We can't say the real reason--it's all only speculation. Honestly, look at his actions. That alone should be enough to tell you. Sex however should be the last concern on your mind.

[marisol_jose]

Do you think maybe he doesn't want to have sex because you're pregnant? I mean I'm not trying to defend your bf in any way but personally at the begining of my pregnancy my husband was scared. But then again there's so many reasons why he may be avoiding sex . As for the porn I think that's sooooo gross . Have your tried talking to him about how you feel on the subject?

Remember communication is the key to a healthy relationship. I wish you the best

[Sumbl1ss]

bleh, yeah, if you guys only knew though.. hes seeing more eye to eye with me, but its not soon enough, but still, no one really sees why i actually posted this... as i was aware of all the B.S above.. i dont mind being single and looking after my children; cause i dont see him being much help right now. and this weed thing, is sort of new, and it doesnt help this customer gives it free and sells it to him.. i've told him recently things need to change fast and all that.. and i have no problem enforcing it all. after all, if he wanted this child soo bad; he should have to work just as hard as i do for the life style, and enjoy being a parent. back on topic though.. it just bugs me the sex life has fallen, whats the real reason? me? or does he really not care for it? since when ? hes male.

[Clysta]

I agree with the others. You should take a good hard look at your relationship and consider if it's something you want to be in. He obviously has no regard for you, and if he's constantly doing drugs he'll do them when the baby is born too and this is NOT something you want your children around. It also clings to your clothing, and others will notice it. I'm actually going through a similar issue with my sister and her daughter, and they WILL take your children away if they notice that stuff, regardless of whether you smoke it or not. Is that someone you want your children to grow up looking up to? There are better men out there, you just need to find them.

If you really want to give him a chance, tell him he needs to straighten his act up. There is NO excuse for him to be acting the way he is, and he continues to do it because you allow it. (Not saying this is your fault) Until you lay down better rules with him, nothing will change.

[mrs_bagz]

I completely agree with butterrss.
Aand the porn thing should also be a red flag. If you're more than willing.. there's no reason he should ne resorting to looking at porn..
I have been raped twice in my life.. (not something I tell ANYONE. no one knows. But) and porn is something im personally not okay with.. it makes me completely uncomfortable and if im willing and not holding out.. there's absolutely no reason for my spouse to resort to looking at it.. its disgusting.
You should break it off with this guy. He seems like a loser.. 31 and worries about nothing but getting high and sleeping... that's ridiculous.
It might be hard for you, but I promise you'll feel so much better with out that dead beat weight dragging you around making you feel not wanted.. ):
<3 hugs coming your way..