Really embarrassing .. But need answers

Question

I have had cold sores since I was little ... I barely ever get them .. But about a month ago I was really stressed out & couldn't sleep ect so my immune system went down & I got one ...  My boyfriend seen it & backed off from me , wouldn't kiss me or anything (which is good cause I wouldn't want to pass it to him) ... But it lasted for about a week & now it's gone ... But that was @ the beginning of the month & he still hasn't kissed me? 
Can the virus be passed even though I don't have one? 
I'm started to feel like he thinks I'm a disease :( <\3 
It's embarrassing to post but I'm feeling really upset.

specialmom · Answer

Oh, and I saw pictures of this as it was in a text book.  It is well documented that you can get this very young and from a variety of causes. Nothing, again, to feel ashamed of.

specialmom · Answer

Sure, you could try that.  And if he pulls away and/or hesitates, then go ahead and talk to him about it.  The statistic of how many have this virus is a pretty huge number.  it's something you can get from all sorts of things and not just kissing.  I saw pictures once of a child that got it from a plastic trumpet!  Someone with the virus had used the trumpet first and then this 5 year old got a really bad case of it.  

so, it's NOTHING to be ashamed of!!  Try not to be embarrassed of it.  And like you said, you rarely have an outbreak----  which is the ONLY time you could pass it on.  So that part he needs to understand.  

So, I hope he just gives you a nice kiss back and all is well.  :)

ericatoday · Answer

Yeah try kissing him. If he backs off or acts like he doesn't want to then talk to him. Once my bf found out it was called herpes he started asking me a ton of questions like where I got it from and how long I've had it. But I've had it since I was little my dad use to get them so I'm sure I got it from giving my daddy a kiss or sharing a drink with him. But after I shared some facta with my bf he calmed down then I got one we didn't kiss for a week but after it was gone he didn't care.

DestinyLuvv · Answer

Communication is big in a relationship just be straight forward its better than going around it

Cheyenne__19 · Answer

I feel so embarrassed even talking about it with him ... Do you think maybe I should just try & kiss him tonight & see how he responds. ?

specialmom · Answer

Ahhh,  well.  Share some basic info so he understands and tell him he is hurting your feelings.  Hopefully all will go back to normal very soon!

Cheyenne__19 · Answer

Thank you 
& yeah it starts to tingle & I always know when ones coming on .. But he just made me feel like complete crap about it :( I miss kissing him .. It's been a month !

ericatoday · Answer

Its super rare to pass it while you don't have an outbreak. And most people who do come in contact with it don't ever get sores. Your bf is being over dramatic. I think its like 60-80% of people have the cold sore virus but most don't ever get sores or even know they have it.

specialmom · Answer

Anyone can pick up that virus and it's nothing to feel bad about.  Once someone gets the virus (herpes simplex 1) they'll continue to have periodic episodes like you have.  Honestly, while I'm sure you don't love it, it's also not the hugest deal.  Once your cold sore is gone, your boyfriend can't get it.  (although, it's good you were cautious, it's also not the end of the earth if he did get it . . .  it's NOT herpes simplex 2 or anything like that and doesn't turn into that or anything as you know).  so, that is my long way of saying that your boyfriend overreacted a bit.  

I would maybe print off some information for him about it.  The ONLY time you'd be contagious is if A. you have a sore or B. a sore is forming and isn't quite showing yet, but you typically still feel that.  Don't you get a little tingling before you get the cold sore?  Many people do.  But that is rare and is like a day or something before the cold sore appears.

So, share some of the information about it and that it is very common.  

Then maybe he'll relax and not hold back.  I'm sure that makes you feel hurt (would me).  hang in there

DestinyLuvv · Answer

Lol well thats nice to know my bf get them once in a while and I kiss him goodbye to work everyday, I dont care... and ive never gotten it...I didnt know u can get them. Oh well still doesnt change anything

Cheyenne__19 · Answer

& I know that's the reason why he hasn't :(

Cheyenne__19 · Answer

Can you still infect someone while you don't have a sore? ..  I haven't gone down on him or kissed him since I got it ...  I'm so scared of passing it on to him even though I don't have a cold sore ?

ericatoday · Answer

Don't be embarrassed. I've had them since I was little too. And haven't gotten one for years but I got one and my bf didn't kiss me while I had it. You really need to talk to your bf. A lot of people are freaked out because they don't know the facts. Cold sores are another form of herpes and that scares people and gross them out. You should ask him why he hasn't kissed you since. Because that might be it.