So upset with DH

[DollChina]

DH seems to think he should be able to go out with his buddy once a week.  I don't think he should with a 19 month old and I am 8 months pregnant.  He went 2 weeks in a row this month and I didn't want thim to go last night because I was so tired from my out of town meeting and I was achy everywhere.  Of course, we had a fight.  He thinks I am trying to control his every move.  But what man goes out weekly when their wife is 8 months pregnant?  He said he needs some space sometime and I was like then be a single guy.  I am sorry once you are a parent, you rarely have that luxury.  I don't mind him going every once in a while but not weekly.  I have plan to go out to dinner with a firend of mine tonight bcause it's her birthday and I think that's why he wanted to go out last night because I get too.  I think it's a bunch of BS.  I don't go out weekly but maybe once a month.  I don't know if it's my hormones or what but I don't seem to be ablt to reason with him.  I think he is a BIG A HOLE

[DollChina]

I am sorry, going to a bar is fine with me but not a strip club.  I agree it's normal to have our own space every once in a while.  And he does go out on his own, he went out 2 weeks in a row and planning on taking off early one day next week to hang with a buddy and that's fine with me.  So I think he is getting his space.  
Once a week when he has a 19 month old and I am 8 months pregnant and not feel good, to me it's excessive.  Fighting over it so much with me is hurtful.  
Everyone is different, you may feel that it's perfectly ok for your  DH to go out to a strip club or a bar weekly but not me.  
The fact is we don't get time what so ever to be alone and he doesn't make an attempt to have a date with me but he does try real hard to have a night with his friends.

[JoyRenee]

Oh, here are some things my hubby does when he hangs out: they play video games, they watch pro-wrestling or they go to a movie, they shoot their guns (they have those stupid air soft guns, but they look real), hiking, etc. My husband has to tell me all the details before he leaves: where they're going and what time he plans on returning. If he's going to be late he calls.

At first he was annoyed that I wanted the info, as if he were a teenager, but when I explained, "I've got two children here... what if something happens? I need to know how far away you are in case I need to contact you!" So he is more willing to oblige if I don't keep calling and bugging him while he's gone. Especially considering that there have been times where emergencies have happened (I put my hand through a window and slit my thumb wide open, severing nerves, had to go to the ER and he was 35 minutes away. WHILE I was pregnant and had a toddler with me).

[JoyRenee]

Okay now I understand why you're upset. I feel like my husband does this as well. He looks forward to time with his bros but our dates can be "put off". I don't really know what to say about that one except to explain to him how you feel. And how important it is for you to be alone with him, especially before another baby comes.

[pmperez]

Well me and my husband have an agreement that we dont go out without each other, and if he doesnt want me doing it, then he shouldnt do it, when he drops his workers off he sits around and has a few beers with them, or when he's home and Im not they play soccer, cook out at my house and stuff like that, we mostly do couple things we enjoy being together but there are days that I stay inside and he goes outside all day working in the yard and what not...

[Michele, Katy, TX]

My husband and I have a 5 year age difference (him being younger), so we struggled with this a little shortly after we got married.  I think it was even harder for me then because I stayed home at the time and I always felt so alone.  And he worked so much, so I couldn't understand.  But we have had many problems in our marriage.  We even separated in 2003/2004 for 10 months.  I have always explained to him that marriages don't just work on their own.  It takes work and effort.  If it weren't me worried about us having time together, we wouldn't spend any time together at all.  I think he has matured some over the years and it's just not an issue anymore.  When he's not working, he just wants to be home with me and the kids.  I think his priorities have changed over the years.  I do understand how you feel.  And I like pmperez's way of doing things.  That kind of sums up how me and my DH are.  

I really hope the 2 of you can come to meet half way somehow.  I can relate though....

[mamaofonetrying42]

Hey,

I know how you are feeling, after we had our son, hubby was the same way. ALways wanting to go out! But now after awhile he has "clam" down a bit. Knowing that he just cant do that stuff anymore. But what gets me is even know he goes out more then I do, and most of the time If I do go out with out him I have alway taken the baby with me. But if for some reason I just dont want to take the baby with me, he gets all upset like I have to take the baby, and if Im gone longer then what I said i would be he gets mad. But Im like How offend do I go out!!!  You know!