after birth

[deexoxo19]

Hey ladies my daughter is about to be 1 month, this is my first time being a mother and i just turned 20 last week.. Anyway ive been cooped up in the house since shes been born and ive hardly had any time for my self at all, i hardly even remember to eat let alone get ready and feel pretty. Ive lately been feeling really down and like im never gonna be able to go out again.. Like im never gonna be able to have a little me time. Like im never gonna hang out with friends... This feeling and being in the house everyday is making me sad. im wondering if it gets better as my daughter gets older ? Will i be able to have time for myself to get ready and go out ? Or will it always be this way?

[RockRose]

dee, it's not going to get easier very quickly.  It will be easier to have "me" time when she's much older,  but you're in for a time here where you have very little time to focus completely on yourself the way you did before you were a mom.

I completely agree that you need to find other moms with kids,  and no one will expect you to "get ready" and look pampered for your outings.  

You're going to need to streamline your "get ready" routine.  A hairstyle that looks good just clean and maybe blow dried,  simple mascara and lipstick,  and simple outfits that include a top,  a bottom,  and a pair of shoes and you're out the door.  

Once your child is mobile,  you won't even be able to go to the bathroom by yourself.

And believe it or not,  when she's grown,  you'll miss this.  That's the takeaway.  You're going to miss this.  ;D

For now,  put on a little makeup,  put her in her stroller and take a mile walk around your neighborhood.   And meet other moms.  You'll "get" each other in a way you've never connected to other women before.

[deexoxo19]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and share your advice, it helps alot. thank you for sharing with me that it will get easier.. i really do hope so. maybe i have the baby blues and this is why i feel like this. I know ill get better and things will get better. But it feels nice hearing it from someone who already knows the process and knows what im going threw because they've gone threw it.

[LittleBee95]

And of course things will get better as she gets older :):):):) She can go to play groups and you will be able to have a few hours to yourself :):)

[LittleBee95]

Maybe you can find a mother and baby group in your area. So that you can still interact with people of your own age and keep an eye on the baby :) She's quite young. She will be a 2 year old before you know it...wanting you to take her out etc...driving you absolutely insane :) but welcome to motherhood :) I'm 19 and will turn 20 in about 2 months. Don't every feel like you have to do things by yourself. If your family support you. Then ask them to have your daughter for a day or over night. But just remember...being a mother is a full time, life time job :)

[LittleBee95]

Hey, when you have a child. You tend to have to sacrifice your old self and do eveything you can for them. There's no reason you can't have time to yourself though. Get a family member to baby sit her while you go out and spend time with friends. Of course you are never going to be able to have that little me time whenever you want. That's the price you paid for having a child.  You have to fit things around her first now. She is always going to be top priority.  With me when I have my baby.. I doubt anything would change because I don't go out anyway....only sometimes with my boyfriend that's it. I don't see other friends. The only thing I may have to sacrifice is taking a year off Uni before I do my second year. I'm due to start my first year at Uni in 4/5 months.

I'm always here to chat if you need any advice. There's no reason you can't go out and have a greattime with your daughter. It's nearly summer, take her to the park...take her to new places. I can't wait to take my baby to places and show them the world. :)