Ot: Would it bother you if....

[pinkbelle]

your boyfriend/ husband's family still kept in touch with your bfs/husbands ex?  My boyfriend's sister is good friends ( from what im told) with my boyfriends ex.. and it kind of bothers me.. His sister & I don't really have any kind of relationship.. Ive been with Matt since April of07 so about a year and 2 months and we have a beautiful baby girl Aubree ( whom I just had)  I feel like our relationship has kind of suffered the last couple months b/c of my pregnancy.. I dunno maybe I'm just being paranoid but my fear is that if she is friends with his ex that makes it easier for his ex to get info on Matt and such.. she caused problems for me and matt when we first got together ( his ex) and I am really hoping it doesn't happen again... Am I just being silly?

[luv4kids]

My in laws are still very close to my husband ex and I have no relationship with them what so ever but it doesn't bother me because I know he loves me and if she was so great he would of married her instead of me and he has 3 kids with her.

[martikadragoon]

It would depend on the situation for me. If him and the girl had a great relationship and were very close, then yea it'd bother me. (esp. if she's HOT) lol, but I'm friends with my DH's ex girlfriend, she doesn't like him and he's made it clear he's not into her. We aren't close now, but used to hang out alot the first 2 years we dated. It did help that she was about my same level in looks. (i don't consider myself hot by any means, more.. average, and sometimes ugly :))

But if he was close friends with a cute ex, or his family was, I'd have problems with it. One of my friends has that issue, except this girl openly flirts with her guy still, and hangs on him in front of EVERYONE, and even putting the girl in her place does NOTHING.

[gokuangel]

I agree with north unless kids are involved there is no reason to have contact!! I have zippo zero contact with my X husband and refuse to!! i packed my stuff and never looked bk havent seen him since!!

[pmperez]

My brother's ex was in our family almost 20 years and when they split is was horrible for some of us, we were like sisters and still are, well when my brother got a new wife she couldnt understand why the ex was invited to all the functions and I can understand that but my brother and his ex ended on good terms and we all still love her, the ex ended up backing off because she could tell that it was causing problems which I thought was nice of her but I miss her!

[pinkbelle]

Thanks Ladies... I talked to him about it and he says he hasnt talked to her in over 8 or 9 months pretty much since they settled everything ( they lived together so it took them a couple months to split things up) and that he could care less if his sister talks to her. He said it doesnt bother him and that his sister never says anything about his ex to him or vice versa Im still a little nervous about it but I guess Ill have to get over it

[northrncwgrl]

Oh that would drive me insane! I think the only reason for people and their families to stay in touch with ex's is if  there are children involved. There are just way too many lines to be crossed when it comes to ex's. And I really think that if his family is a genuine and supportive family, they would know better than to include her in their lives. Especially if she tried to cause problems for you in the beginning! Ex's are ex's - not meant to carry on in your lives.
And his sister isn't friends with you, but she is with her? That's just wrong, she is obviously not supporting him in his relationship with you. Sorry, not trying to sound like a hag.
Really, the most important part boils down to him and how he is handling the situation. If he has no contact with her, then that's the biggest step. Hopefully he can stand up to his family for you.
I went through this a bit for a while when my bf and I started dating. I drew the line for him that he couldn't carry on keeping in touch with her, or I wasn't hanging around. I'm not a jealous person, but she's one who flew miles up here after we were together to try to get him back, while trying to sleep with him and all his friends....
Anyway, good luck! I feel for you!

[luv2bmommy]

hmmm, if she caused problems with you guys before then nobody should be talking to her. it would bother me very badly. all my hubbys ex's are nuts so nobody really talks to them, i do when i see them just to be nice. but to form a friendship where they know details of your life? NO

[Cheesecake7]

Let me first say that I am a hypocrite on this subject, it is terrible but I am.  I still speak, occasionally to my ex-husband, and we are on good terms. However, I am a jealous person with low self esteem, I think that I would be nervous, in fact I know that I would be nervous, if I were in your shoes. It is terrible, and I know that I am being a hypocrite, its terrible, I know. Maybe you should talk to him about it. I know that it helps me and my current husband. If my ex calls, I talk to him on the phone right in front of my current husband, I dont hide anything or try to be secretive, and if he were still in contact with an ex I would expect the same in return, I would just let him know how you feel. My hubby knows that I am jealous, even though I have no reason, and he appreciates knowing the truth, it causes less stress when everything is in the open.

[natemomma27]

my family still keeps in touch with my ex...weve been seperated for 3 years now but e still goes to my mother and fathers house and hangs out with them and my younger brother. my current relationship is funny that way too...my fiance's sister still talks to my fiance's ex (and she is bat sh*t crazy!) but i think she does it in hopes that it will bother me b/c his sister has recently started hating me and all she did before is complain that the ex was annoying and crazy and glad she moved away. i dont let it bother me. ive moved on and im happy and thats all that matters!

[LauraB78]

I am going to be totally honest here, it would TOTALLY bother me.. I also should add that I am very insecure and jealous (how attractive, right?! lol) Do you know if your b/f and his ex are still in contact? If so, let him know it bothers you (nicely) and maybe that is all it will take? Good luck! I get crazy jealous over such  things, but constantly try and remind myself that SHE is the EX .. I am the current and there must be good reasons! =)

[kazwel]

I am on the other side of this one,  I am still friendly with my ex-husband, dont get me wrong he is a freaking dink most of the time,but he is a great dad, my former Mother in law is still my best friend.  My df is very good with all of it.

It does get uncomfortable for me sometimes but (like when i had a flat tire in our driveway and my df and ex fixed it together. awkward!!).

Maybe it is different because ex and i have a son or it could be that men just dont think the same as us women.
Who knows

Kazwel
LOL

[msgorgeous]

i dont belive your being silly my boyfriends ex just live up the street aways its soo close by i dont like it at all drive by her house everyday ugh! i have a similar fear. im glad hes family isint in contact with her :)