What do pregnant ladies think of their husband that watch PORN behind their back while pleasing themselves?

[jessyboy007]

Some of you know about my situation at home, and you know how much it upset me!!

Anyways, im still having an issue with it!! Im still wondering, if any of you feel the same way as i do!!?

Are any of you PREGGO and finding it repulsive that ur husband watch porn behind your back while masterbating, when he has the perfect marriage/relationship, with a perfect sexual lifestyle , but needs to go behind ur back (knowingly that it bothers u) , and still have this need to release some tension while watching some sleezy porn!!

Still makes me sick,,,im carrying his child, and we are about to build a family!! they might have all the excuses in the book:
1.they are men
2. they have urges
3. its healthy etc...BLA BLA BLA

urges or not...those are just his excuse to makewoman believe that its normal and its acceptable!!!!

trust me  i have urges to max out my credit card and shop till i drop, but i control myself !!!
also my grandfather didnt have the luxury in those time to watch porn , so he turned to his wife, lthats why there was less divorces in those times !! i can go on...i just feel like we are making excuses for their behaviors........

i know if he would have told me that it bothered him , if i did it, i wouldnt have gone behind his back!! the fact that he lies and find excuses , still makes me feel like i should go back to my marriage!! If i did , i woudnt be able to trust him and it would be hard  for me to regain that trust!! think of all the stress , i would put myself through while trying to see more clearly...and im pregnant!! glad im away from the worries and suspiscions!!

Anyone feel sthe same way??

[chitten]

At 6 months pregnant i saw my ex out with some tramp (18 years old, fat and dressed as a schoolgirl) I walked right past him. He text me the next day asking to meet up. I went mad at him for not showing an interest when he KNEW i had been in hospital that same week. He was full of apology and wanted to take me out to chat and sort things out. I (like a mug) went along. We had a lovely day and one thing lead to another and we slept togthether. I thought he was changing and starting to treat me with respect.

I went to a local club that night for a mates birthday and he walked past me and our baby bump on the stairs holding the same tramp from the night befores hand and sniggered!!!!!!

I mustered all my strength, shook my head and walked away with my head held high.

As soon as i left the club (which was about 2 minutes later) i burst into hysterical tears.

Hurt and humiliated again by the same w**ker thats controlled my life for the past few years. I hate him!!!!!

I text him telling him NEVER to contact me again and he had the cheek to reply "chill out, i know you think im sleeping around but im not, it was only a kiss mel, it doesnt change things between us :)"

AS IF!!!!

Im carrying his child for fecks sake.

We argued like mad and i went round to see him and his parents and tell him straight what was gonna be happeining from now on (he was demanding shared care which he IS NOT going to get) He promised there and then to respect me and never hurt me again.

I was rushed to hospital the next day with unexplained bleeding and spent 4 days there in total. I told him i was going and you know how many times he showed up. Not Once! How many times did he text to see how i was? Not Once!

He went out, partied and got it on with tramps (as per usual) when i was in hospital with threatened labour with our daughter at 25 weeks.

It was at this point i realised hes NEVER gonna change. Once a selfish b*stard ALWAYS a selfish b*stard!!!

He wants me to meet him wednesday to "discuss the birth, maintenance, names etc" but im so confused as to whether to go or not..........

I want my little girl to know her daddy but i really wish it wasnt him.

I guess the old saying stands true - a Leopard never changes his spots

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I'd like to point something out here.  I think the main issue with porn is when a) the individual involved in it is HIDING it and b) when the individual knows the other party has a problem and continues to go behind their back.

With that said...there are many couples who us pornography either to fill in the gaps so to speak or to enhance their own sexual experiences.  I don't think that's the issue here with the original poster.

I've been there.  I knew my husband looked at magazines and websites when he was single...not many males don't.  HOWEVER when we first got together he started eliminating all of these things saying he didn't feel right having them around since he had a woman in his life.  He also knew that I didnt' particularly care for that kind of thing in a commited relationship.  Then for us to get married and several years down the road find where he has escalated into doing more than just VIEWING porn.  That was where I drew the line.  For many it DOES become an addiction, one that even the men themselves are ashamed of and KNOW is wrong.  Just like with any addiction it escalates into more undesireable behavoir.  In my situation it was my husband finding actual women to email, get pictures from, to develop mental relationships with...even so far as sending pictures of our children.  

Some people see no problem with pornography...others view it as a form of betrayal...albeit maybe a mental betrayal but one nonetheless.  This is a very serious issue that affect tons of relationships every day.  I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions....and if pornography is no big deal to you, that's fine...more power to ya..BUT it does NOT downplay the fact that for someone who IS against it that it can be extremely devastating...ESPECIALLY when one is pregnant.  So for some of you to say "I don't see the big deal" it's easy for you to say that when you haven't walked a mile in the other persons shoes.  

My heart goes out to anyone having to deal with this.  It's no harder and no easier than dealing with a loved one that has ANY type of addiction.  There are soo many emotions involved...betrayal, hurt, jealousy, lack of self worth, feelings of inadequacy, constantly wondering what you could have or still could change to make it better, the list goes on.  Unfortunately it's NOT that easy to realize that it has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do wtih the other person.  

Regardless of being pregnant and not being "in the mood" sometimes....I'll be damned if my husband is gonna run off and go look at some other naked chick becuase *I* and sick and swollen carrying HIS child.  Contrary to what much of society believes...a man will not explode nor will he lose function if he has to go a month or two without it.  As for fairness...well I think the LEAST a man can do is not get some for a little while, considering all women go through to bare their children.  

Again, these are just my personal opinions.  None of this is directed towards anyone in particular...I just feel very strongly about this subject as I believe it goes hand in hand with the commitment and vows that are taken when you give your life to someone.  

[Nadia77]

I have watched a program last week about a woman divorcing her husband after finding out he was imagining other woman and..... They had a phsycolosit in the program and he was saying the woman  was wrong to think her husband was cheating or being unfaithful to her as it was all in the head and nothing more.... he added that its within human nature to sometimes imagine sex with other people as fantasy but it doesn't go any further and watching porn is a fantasy for so many people... and as long as in only in the head it is very natural and normal and he said almost all people do it!  So I guess look at it from this prospect as being a fantasy which will remain at there without going out there and cheating on you..... and believe me I have a feeling almost all men do it if not all women but we just don't know about them..

[Roz1977]

im just posting to be a part of this you know how i feel it hate i hate it hate it, we all have urges part of growing and getting married is maturing, this means having some will power and controlling yourself...for the wives that do not mind there husbands watching porn then hes a lucky man and he can watch it...for the girls who do not like it i guess that makes him unlucky and he shouldnt watch it. Trust me there are a million things that im tempted to do but its not worth putting my relationship at risk!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Yes, a lot of men look at porn.  BUT there's a fine line.  When they start HIDING it, it's a problem. One that is gradually going to escalate into something more.  Been there done that.  I spent two of my pregnancies with my husband TALKING to other LIVE women and asking them for nude pictures behind my back.  Then when I would confront him he claimed it was all innocent.  But I read the things he wrote.  He swore he would stop but didn't.  It actually drove us to divorce.  That among with other things...but a large portion of it stemmed around that ****.  We tried to reconcile this past october...it went well for awhile, then I found out I was pregnant (NOT planned) and shortly after found where he was talking to a girl he knew from years ago...spent HOURS on the phone with her.  I threw him out on his @ss.  I think that was the final straw for him...he realized how badly he'd screwed up and what he'd done.  He checked himself in for inpatient psychiatric evaluation.  He has since been on medication for depression and has come to realize that a lot of what he did was an addiction he used when he was stressed...similiar to an alcoholic or drug addict.  Looking back over the pattern over the last several years I can see where his most stressful times are when it was at its worst.

for me, it was extremely hard to deal with.  I even fell into a deep depression several years ago...to the point of barely functioning.  I ended up on medication and in counseling and eventually realized that it had nothing to do with ME.  There was nothing wrong with ME.  It was HIS problem.  I only suffered consequences from it.  

I've given him another chance...but he knows this is his last.  He has been far more open about it....when he starts feeling stressed or depressed he talks to me about it now.  He pretty well stays away from the computer except for occasionally looking for auto parts, rarely even checks his email.  I know, I still randomly set up a hidden keylogger and check the history and temp. files just to make sure.  

It's completely normal for YOU to feel that there is something wrong with you but there isn't.  If you do a google search you will find that this is far more common than most people care to admit to.  It's NOT an easy path to take but there CAN be hope.  Unfortunately HE has to be willing to take a step forward though and nothing YOU do can get him to that point.  

If you want to talk more privately...feel free to send me a pm.

[chitten]

My ex was sneaky in this way too, he'd watch porn on his own and get himself off or he'd watch it / look at topless models then come on to me BIGSTYLE (id only find out when using the computer and seeing the history)

I wasnt pregnant at the time but he made me feel so unnattractive its unreal. I felt fat and ugly and it really picked at my confidence. When we broke up i was heartbroken but due to the stress i lost alot of weight, went on holiday, got my hair done etc and i felt FABULOUS. He knew it and came crawling back.

The niceness didnt last long and he used me for over a year. Think it gave him an ego boost to know he could still have me whenever he wanted. He was my first byfriend and I still loved him and bent over backwards to give him everything but come christmas i had had enough. I found out a week later i was 2 months pregnant.

Men are very very selfish. I wish i had realised that at 17 when i met him and wouldnt be in this position now