I've been wondering the same thing. I know that about a year ago this site was 18+. I'm not sure if it still is (although I am going to assume so). But I don't care how mature you think you are raising a child is expensive, time consuming, and hard. Its not something to just be done on a whim. No child (literally child since they aren't legal adults) makes enough or knows enough about life to even think of intentionally creating one.
I had a friend who on accident got pregnant at 17 and it was the single hardest thing she has ever had to do. She is now 20 and her son is about to be 2 but she still feels overwhelmed and not ready.
I too am 20 and just had a baby and it is hard work. I think in order to have a child you need to be REALLY ready for it both mentally and physically.
I got pregnant with my DD when I was 16, Had her 4 months ago and I'm 17 now. My BF and I are going to be TTC #2 as soon as I turn 18.
To me, it does not matter how old you are, I take excellent care of my daughter, we are financially stable and love being parents. I'm studying Journalism (soon to be finished!) so Its not the end of my life. I can't wait to have another one around.
I think it depends on the way these kids trying for kids have been brought up.
Im gonna be 21 a few weeks before my little girl is born, she was unplanned and im terrified im not ready for this.
These young girls should oncentrate on their homework and if theyre that desperate to play mummy, get a doll
I agree that some people mature more than others. I myself have always been "older" than my age. I did get pregnant very young with my first child. I got pregnant when I was 16 and had him when I was 17. I think people should wait until they are atleast 20 to have a child, being married at 17 and having one child while expecting another was some of the hardest things I've ever went through. Especially being 18 with a 25 week preemie and an 11 month old. I don't think something like that is for everyone, but I do happen to agree that there are ((very few)) out there that can be mature and responsible enough to deal with it and handle it like someone twice their age would. BUT then again from some of the posts I've read, I think 90% of the ones on this forum aren't mature enough to handle the responsibility of an infant, and the costs/stress like an adult.
Where girls bodies at such young ages may look developed, mentally they are still children themselves.
Its not meant to be a dig - Im almost 21 and woud still class myself as a young mum.
Im 3 years into my joint honours degree in Criminology and Sociology at University here in Scotland but i know this (as well as my career) will have to go on hold for a while.
Snowwhite - i understand that some young girls may feel young enough to be mums but mentally and even physically at times it puts great strain and pressure on them. Well done if you are still managing to study with a 4 month old child however to accept you have finished your studies at 17 seems a little far fetched to me. I dont know how things work in the states but here in the uk you study journalism for 4 years before graduating and you must be at least 17, turning 18 to be accepted onto the course to begin with.
i was 18 and out of high school when i got pregnant, had my son at 19...then when i was 21 had my other son. neither of which was planned. i was actually told i wasnt able to have children due to an illness so i look at both my children being blessings and miracles none the less. i do agree that intentionally trying to get pregnant is very irresponsible (sp). i never had the oppurtunity to live life as the 'normal' teenager...i wasnt able to celebrate my 21st birthday...there are things i missed...granted i wouldnt change anything b/c i adore my children...but if you have the CHANCE to be young, take it...you have your entire life to have children!
Tell me about it - IIts my 21st birthday 3 weeks before im due to give birth - Can you imagine me celebrating whilst im the size of a beached whale. Not Impressed :)
That said - doc thinks im 2/3 weeks further than my EDD so id rather spend the day at home that in L&D.
Oh the joys.......... lol
I think to each his/her own, however, I think that enjoying ones youth is soooo important. I am 30 and just had my first...I am grateful for him but so happy that I waited until I was ready. Even though we I thought that I was mature enough in reality you still have a lot to learn. I wasn't ready to give my world to someone else. Now at 30 I was. I just think that being a teenager should be carefree and easy going. School should be the main focus. I'm their parents would have hoped for that as well. If you can handle it and be responsible then that's great. I'm just tired of seeing teens getting pregnant and sticking their parents with the child. They still want to go to parties and hang out, meanwhile they have a new baby. Now the parents have to financially support this baby and have to be a second parent. It's really sad.
To me it seems like kids are learning about sex earlier on, but not necessarily the reproduction part and the what can happen from sex!! Not only pregnancy, but the std's and everything. I don't think that if you can't explain how an egg is released or how to keep track of your period, and understand that aspect, you definately should be waiting!!
Well, I'll be 34 yr old in July. I was married at 18 yrs just 3 mos after my birthday. Within the first 6 mos I was pregnant with my son. He will be 15 in October. I am VERY proud of where I am AND where I came from. I don't agree that it is the right choice for everyone, but it worked for me. BUT, I wasn't TTC until after we were married. I couldn't imagine having a child any younger.
I think at this point all we can do is embrace these young ladies and try to give them guidence. They are going to do what they want to anyways. We may be the only place for them to turn. Some times a kind word goes a long way. In the past some posters have bashed these young ladies and I think that just makes the situation worse. Unfortunately, they are children and I think we should handle them with kid gloves. But I be damn if I find my 12 yr old daughter or 14 yr old son doin' the BD. Thing is, NOT all kids have supervision.
Exactly, they are children and need handling with kid gloves. Im in no place to speak really - im 20 and 20 weeks pregnant - not what i had planned but the thought of even kissing a boy let alone BDing and TRYING for a baby as young as 13 makes me cringe.
I was brought up with morals and to have self respect. Ive made mistakes and went back to a loser guy who treated me like **** but at the end of the day i am an adult and made my own choices even though she was not planned this baby is already my world.
Babies having babies that are unplanned is one thing - sad but bearable - but TRYING for one? It makes me really sad. My lil sis is almost 13 and id string her up if she even thought about going near a boy - but she knows better. I only hope i bring my little girl up to have the same self respect.
All I have to say is I agree 100% with diva_lorri. Having an unplanned pregnancy b/c of a lack of knowledge or a condom rupture, etc is ONE THING. Being 16 years old and PLANNING IT? wtf? When I was that age the LAST THING i WAS READY FOR was a baby!! How can any teenager think they are ready for a child? Where will they get the money for diapers, food, healthcare, clothes, toys, etc. Oh yeah...THE GOVERNMENT!!! c'MON GIRLS. if you're one of these young ones ttc...stop! Enjoy your teenage and young adult years. You have a very long time to have a baby.... just wait!
i agree w/all you ladies out there planning a child at such a young age sounds absurd to me as well!! My sil got married to my DH's brother when she was 16 and he was 19 and now they have 2 kids (shes turning 21 month)!! im still not convinced that she found and married some1 4yrs older than her so she would have some1 to work and support her. When i think about being 16 i remember i was a really stupid immature child and cannot imagine having responibilities like that at that age!! its been hard for me not to be able to have kids but i am glad that i have had to wait because when i finally do get prego im going to be able to give my child a good life.
Welcome to the Maury Povich show! Where young girls who feel unloved at home try to have a baby to feel that unconditional love...
In all seriousness, when I was 19 and pregnant with my first my doctor wrote TEEN PREGNANCY on my folder and it made me SO MAD! But in retrospect, I am very young at 19! Can't imagine trying to intentionally become preggo at 13, 14, 16, etc.
Come on, kids! It's time to PLAY and then you can think about a family. I love my daughters, don't get me wrong, but there are days (like this morning for instance) where I just wanted to walk out the door and just go to a job or DO WHAT I WANTED. I can't travel, can't go to the movies, etc.
Well, I am a biology teacher and these kids are taught about sex in PSE (Personal, Social Education) I think it depends on who they get as a teacher and what the teacher chooses to tell them.
Today I had to teach my applied science group about pregnancy/amnio's and diagnositic testing on babies. It is my experience with Year 11s that they 'think' they know alot but actually do not. Year 11 is 15/16 years old. I gave them a female reproductive system and asked them to label it and half of the boys didn't know one end from the other. I said to them 'you are going to be using these organs soon, you ought to know what they are called and how they work', they were like 'soon?!!' and I said 'Well in a perfect world you won't have used them at all yet but I'm not naive'.
I then proceeded to tell them (even though not on the spec) abut how long sperm last in the vagina, how long they last if they manage to get to the cervix and how long the egg lasts. I explained to them exactly why avoiding ovulation day might not go to plan and how that method didn't protect them from diseases AND I even explain tat it is much easier for them to get pregnant compared to me because their eggs are young so they are extremely fertile. I explained how the antibodies in a pregnancy test work and how some people might not even show up positive and how periods may still happen, although its rare.
They LOVED the lesson and said it was one of the most interesting lessons they have had (that disappointment me a bit, I put lots of efffort into all their lessons) but I was pleased because although they need to know some of it for their exam, I know that if they found it interesting then some of it went in.
In contrast my year 7s (11/12 years) were disgusted and I taught them in axactly the same detail. One of the boys was completely confused about the need for a condom. He said he didn't understand the point if it stopped you getting pregnant. It took me a while to work it out but he was MORTIFIED when I told him people do this for fun and not just once to have a baby!!! Ha Ha!
Mmm sorry this is long
My other point is also the difficult side to being a teacher, when you find out that in th school 6 children ranging from 12-16 years old have already had abortions and their parents do not have to be told as long as a responsible adult gets involved. I was disgusted fo two reasons 1. I had just had a MC the week before I found out 2. they are not responsible to make a decision like that and I would be pissed if I found out my child had been in that situation and I wasn't told.
These children are taught sex education to death but they don't think it will happen to them!!
Thanks for sharing! The reality is that not all teachers/ schools follow the same curriculum. I remember when I was in school, they SHOWED you pictures of STD's as part of the lesson and also reviewed the reproduction organs. That was in middle school. Now my two oldest are in middle school and they are so busy pushing abstinence that they don't touch on the other issues (pregnancy, STD's etc.) like they should. Don't get me wrong, abstinance is the best policy, but what about those that don't want that as an option? I wish we could get the good ol' fashioned sex education back in our school. And another thing is, self worth starts at home. We as parents have to instill good behavior. Sex education in the home is VERY important I believe. That's why (knock on wood) my kids won't go there. Or atleast IF they do, they will do it with all the knowledge I can give them. But I be damn, I think I will flip my wig.....lol. All kiding aside. I do know they will do it when "they" decided it's time. I just hope I taught them well.....
I only wish more people would do the same...
I'm in the UK and the school I'm at they don't even know how to spell abstinence let alone what it means. I taught them about HPV and the vaccine for their coursework. We're only meant to do th sciencey stuff in year 7 (way too young) and it's not on the spec for the older ones but I teach it any way and get it in anywhere I can. They should be informed and I don't feel uncomfortable talking about it to them at all. I think thr more information they get from me the less inaccurate information they get form their mates!
Don't get me wrong, I know what it's like to be a teenager. I was 15 when I lost my virginity. I was in a relationship that lasted 6 years and we went to the family planning together and I got on the pill (with my Mum's consent, she was mad at first and my dad hit the roof but she was glad I had approached her) and we got stocks of free condoms just incase the pill didn't work because we both wanted careers. I'm not very sensitive to accidents because I read my instructions and new how to use my pill and I knew that if I vomitted or had the runs then I wasn't protected...I don't get whats so hard to understand....but kids these days don't read anything for themselves, if it's not sppon fed they just go with what they think!!
Yeah! We live in the states and a lot of the kids I've run across, think they are invinsible and that nothing can touch them. They need to know they aren't. I think it is a great thing you are doing as a teacher to educate them. A LOT of people don't realize that you (as teachers) spend more time with our kids than we do in most cases.
Truth is my sex education came from school ONLY! My parents just didn't talk about it! Unfortunately, I think a lot of my childrens freinds, parents are the same way. I vowed NOT to let my children be in the dark. They know I would like them to respect themselves and WAIT!!! But they also know that if they felt it was time we should talk and decide together what actions to take to protect them and their potential partner.
Again, CUDOS to you for teaching young people this...
Well i never really got a chance to be a kid.I raised my own brothers and sisters while my mom worked three jobs.I got pregnant when i was 16.I remember how scared i was.Abortion was never an option for me i would never destroy a gift from god.I took parenting classes,I married the dad who is my Husband now and the love of my life.I just turned 21 and am haveing my third child.I never pictured my life like this,but im not ashamed nor do i feel the need to apoligize to certain people.I love my little family and i know I am a great mother....I just dont undrstand all these teens thinking its cool to get pregnant like its the newest fashion or thinking its gonna make the man there with stay..
Chitten - My course is correspondence. The study time is 18 months, then I move on to advanced.
I didn't get knocked up at 16 "because I wanted to".
I think diva_lorri's point was there are young girls ACTIVELY TTC. It's one thing to fall pregnant unexpectedly/accidently. But to be 15 and TRYING to conceve a child is ludicrous. I don't think we can be so blasé and say, "To each their own" when a child does not have the mental capacity to REASON what a baby would be not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It's one thing to become pregnant out of carelessness and quite another to intentionally bring life into the world when you can barely afford a car payment and still live with your parents.
I'm pregnant at 20, I work in childcare. Some of my family thought i was nuts and stupid but they finally excepted it. I'm happy and married. I got told I had a positive result on my pap smear a week ago and would have to go to a specialist once Ive had the baby. Things happen for a reason. As for having a baby at 13, thats extreme, I was still playing games in the playground at that age.