Aa
Why is my husband being so mean?????
I can not figure out for the life of me what has gotten into my husband! He was being really good, more attentive than normal, but lately he's turned into quite an a$$!! He has been making rude comments about my weight constantly. I am 5'7 and started out at 120lbs. I have now gained 32lbs, and I know I am getting bigger, but I am carrying his son for **** sake!! We have joint custody of his 10yr old son, and when he comes over, he is always commenting on how HUGE i'm getting, or how big my butt is! I have tried to take it all in stride and laugh about it, but my dh laughs with him and encourages it. Last night, I went to sit in my glider rocker and I had had it reclined, but when I sat down, the lever wasn't tight, and the back of the chair popped up. He said good grief if you didn't have to sit down like such a damn pig!! I don't know how much longer I can take this before I kick his ***!! I have told him that this hurts my feelings, and have cried, but he just says oh quit being such a baby!!
I hope to God she left the jerk. That behavior was way over the line and totally unacceptable. It's abuse, pure and simple. I hope she got out and took those kids with her.
I have a hard time believing that this is just a recent abusive behaviour aswell. It is hard when you have two kids and one on the way. I hope that leaving for a bit was an option. The words and behaviour coming from this man is not acceptable. My husband spend the first 10 years of his life being raised by a very abusive man. He did not only abuse my mother in law but he did the kids aswell. If someone can talk to and do to you the things that were done, you need to be very causious about what acts to follow and keep a close eye on those precious kids during this time. The anger did not come with my husband but it stuck with his brother and trust me it is not something that as a mother you want to see come from your child. If the behaviour continues please don't let it take 10 years to leave. I don't know...I believe that love is not displayed in these kinds of actions.
I hope everything is ok and that you guys were able to get things sorted out.
I hope everything is ok and that you guys were able to get things sorted out.
If my partner ever had to spit in my face i'd either land my fist in his or his bags would be packed and he'd be running back to his mum's. I would ask the ex-wife what happened when she was pregnant maybe that's why she's the ex. I also wouldn't put up with any arguments, snide comments in front of the kids it's no healthy them hearing their dad thinks their mum is a pig and a slob it's cruel to both yourself and the children. I hope you can both work things out before it gets any worse
So does anyone know what ended up happening to precious?? I came across this today and i am very curious to find out what happened
I am at a loss for words after reading that one post. He is being verbally and emotianly abusice and needs to stop now. this is no way to treat your wife or gf let alone while pregnant. that behavoir is completely unacceptable.
my advice would be anger management classes and perhaps counselling but like all men he probably wont go.
you could try leaving for a bit too just to get your point across that this is NOT and never will be ok. it could give him a wake up call which he needs, actaully he needs a f*cking kick in the ***.
You are beautiful dont let his immature words make you think otherwise.
I looked at your pictures and you look great. You are all stomach. Your husband is just stupid, selfish, and needs help.
Well, not all men are like that...just as there are a lot of women out there in the world who are VERY immature. Believe it or not, a lot of men are caring and compassionate. I used to be very bitter towards men until I met my fiance because growing up my own dad was EXACTLY like your husband. He was very mean to my mom verbally and emotionally and it had terrible effects on myself and siblings. I developed an eating disorder and had very low self-esteem. A lot of parents don't realize that the fighting and arguing really does have a negative effect on the children. Today I am much better and in finding someone who truly cares about me and is soo sweet and unselfish I realized that not all men are evil!!! lol ..... I just hope that everything works out for you!!
if you ever find the answer to ur last question PLEASE let me know! ive been wondering the same myself :)
All of you - thank you for all the advice!! I am trying to give him some space right now so that way we can both cool down before we have to talk again. I wish I could "freak out", but because of the other kids, I really haven't had an opportunity. No matter how mad I get I can always control myself to not let us fight in front of them. I wish he had the same restraint!! I know that he does love me and the kids, I just wish he could get his priorities straight!! He's 31yrs old for crying out loud!! When do men finally start to grow up and stop putting themselves first!!???
maybe hes going through something he cant even explain to you right now, i dont know about most men but my DH is very complicated when hes got something on his mind. its almost as if he has to figure things out in his own head before he can function regularly in life again. during that time i just have to be patient and try hard not to get annoyed with him, and try not to take it personally. but really theres no excuse for acting that way, women have a lot of stress in our lives too and you dont see us running out to the bar or spitting on our husbands, we just have to "deal with it". tell him no, you dont want to go find someone who values you, you want HIM to. tell him you love him and want to understand whats going on with him but you will not be treated like a dog in the meantime.
sweetkisses that is dead on, it is abuse, and while its not physical (besides the spitting) it is very dangerous to a family not to mention it could progress into physical abuse before you know it. you need to put the foot down and keep it down, HARD! he thinks you are a B*tch now, i doubt he knows the meaning of the word, enlighten him. its sad that he doesnt even care about how his children have to live, and how they see him treat you. that sends messages to children that they dont even understand yet and it can effect the way they treat women in the future.
What I don't understand is why all of the sudden he started doing this!! He was good before, and helpful at least! Never been very attentive where the pregnancy is concerned. Yes, we have had our disagreements and arguements over the years, but nothing like this!! I told him that there are a lot of men out there that think that their wives/significant other is beautiful when they are pregnant, and that other husbands are attentive, and caring, and loving. He said oh yeah. Well, go find one then!! I almost want to ask his ex wife if he treated her like this when she was pregnant. With our last daughter, he acted really selfish, but nothing like this!! Do you think maybe he just feels like he isn't getting enough attention so he is lashing out like a 3 yr old would do?
What?!!! He spit on you?!!!!
um, thats ridiculous and abusive and degrating. Do your parents live near by or maybe a good friend? I think maybe you should consider leaving for a little bit until he gets his head out of his A SS. I'm not a fan of seperation and I would only consider it as a last resort, but in your case You need to protect your children and yourself from that kind of behavior, even if its not physical..emotional abuse is just as bad.
um, thats ridiculous and abusive and degrating. Do your parents live near by or maybe a good friend? I think maybe you should consider leaving for a little bit until he gets his head out of his A SS. I'm not a fan of seperation and I would only consider it as a last resort, but in your case You need to protect your children and yourself from that kind of behavior, even if its not physical..emotional abuse is just as bad.
precious- that would absolutely send me over the edge right now if my DH treated me like that. I haven't been too emotional except for the past week or two. If he said something to me like that now, I would cry and cry or scream or something. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know this is easier said, but don't let him make you feel bad about yourself. I am 33 weeks and I have already gained 30 lbs. You are not fat; I'm sure you look great! How do people think we can have babies without gaining weight??!
Wow and i thought my DH was bad!! he makes comments to me to since i have gained 20lbs since we met 3yrs ago and i have not been pregnant!!! but when i get pissed off he oh no im sorry im just kidding and gives me a kiss lol!! But for reals Dandy is right u need to slap the s** out him!! That is just mean you're pregnant and have no control over your body at this moment. Like i said aint been prego but i hear from other ladies it feel like the baby is borrowing your body so if thats true then tell him well i will start working out as soon ur baby gives me my body bk!!! *hugs* and hope u feel better soon!!
Wow...is this the first child you are having with him? It sounds like you have other children...has he ever acted like this before? He definitely sounds like he is very immature...not ready to be a husband or a dad! I don't know what I would do in your situation but I would be tempted to give him an ultimatum...Get with it or get out! If this is how he is now when he should be the most supportive both physically and emotionally I can't imagine how he would be in the future! Easier said than done...but try for your babies sake to relax and not stress! Good luck, and HUGS!
omg!! I don't know if I can keep doing this!! I just went and woke him up!! When I asked him when he planned on getting up, he screamed at me to shut the f up! I said well, It's not my fault you went out drinking last night and didn't get enough sleep, but there is a lot of stuff around here that I would like to get done!! I asked him if maybe he could finally get the yard raked like I asked and he told me that if I wasn't such a fing fat slob that I could go out and do it myself! Then he said that I am nothing but selfish!! Me!! I never do anything for me or buy anything for me!! I told him that he needs to grow up and start acting like a husband and father! Then he said that I am a stupid *******. I said see that is what I mean by being childish. So, he sat up, spit on me, got dressed and left again!!!
wow i'm really sorry to hear that your husband is being a complete ****** bag.
I know that arguing with someone like that doesn't solve anything beause people like that just always think they are right, but do not allow him to walk all over you!!!! Any decent human being would realize that is no way to treat the woman carrying his child. If i were you I would let him know this is unacceptable, and you won't tolerate it. I know that if my fiance ever even considered the thought of acting like that I would kick is rear end right outta my life..and he knows that.
I will pray for you darling!! I hope things get better...just don't stress, for your sake and the baby's!
I know that arguing with someone like that doesn't solve anything beause people like that just always think they are right, but do not allow him to walk all over you!!!! Any decent human being would realize that is no way to treat the woman carrying his child. If i were you I would let him know this is unacceptable, and you won't tolerate it. I know that if my fiance ever even considered the thought of acting like that I would kick is rear end right outta my life..and he knows that.
I will pray for you darling!! I hope things get better...just don't stress, for your sake and the baby's!
Hey Hon,
sorry to hear about your dh, sounds like he is a ray of sunshine! Could it be that he is stressed out about adding another child to the bunch? Although he is probably excited about the baby it could be that he is stressed about another mouth to feed. Men by nature are the bread winners and b/c of this he could be stressing, he may not want to tell you b/c he knows you wouldnt understand. My dh has been a bit weary of ttc for this reason alone, he also said sometimes when he is being an a$$ he is really upset but as a man cant show that sad emotion only an angry emotion.
Perhaps after this bar thing he will snap back into it, if not you do need to have a serious chat with him. Anyway you two could go out for dinner alone? I would suggest rather than beating him up about his POOR behavoir ask him kindly what is bothering him, reverse gycology! Maybe he needs a cahnce to get out his feelings. at which point you can tell him how hurt you are feeling. I always find with my dh if i freak out and cry he doesnt really listen. let us know how things go dear!
Pregnant women are beautiful, why else would they put Demi Moore and Christina Augelera on magazine covers? Perhaps you should go for a nude photo shoot of your own......
sorry to hear about your dh, sounds like he is a ray of sunshine! Could it be that he is stressed out about adding another child to the bunch? Although he is probably excited about the baby it could be that he is stressed about another mouth to feed. Men by nature are the bread winners and b/c of this he could be stressing, he may not want to tell you b/c he knows you wouldnt understand. My dh has been a bit weary of ttc for this reason alone, he also said sometimes when he is being an a$$ he is really upset but as a man cant show that sad emotion only an angry emotion.
Perhaps after this bar thing he will snap back into it, if not you do need to have a serious chat with him. Anyway you two could go out for dinner alone? I would suggest rather than beating him up about his POOR behavoir ask him kindly what is bothering him, reverse gycology! Maybe he needs a cahnce to get out his feelings. at which point you can tell him how hurt you are feeling. I always find with my dh if i freak out and cry he doesnt really listen. let us know how things go dear!
Pregnant women are beautiful, why else would they put Demi Moore and Christina Augelera on magazine covers? Perhaps you should go for a nude photo shoot of your own......
that seems like a nice healthy relationship to me as far as length go's, but I think your husband has gotten to comfortable to being able to say anything he wants to you =( maybe you should use the "no sex till you start being nicer and understanding my feelings" to him hehe, I know thats what I do to my husband even though I really dont mean it, I still seem to get a good reaction out of him =)
we have been together for 6 1/2 years, but have only been married for over a year!
I agree with everyone, you really need to "stick it to him" How long have you two been married if thats not too personal?
precious i am in the same boat when it comes to my FH treating my sons differently...i have a 4 y/o from a previous relationship and when i met my FH my son was 18 months, so he's been in his life for the majority of the time...then when my oldest was 2 and 1/2 i gave birth to FH's and my son...he says he doesn't mean to treat them differently but he does obviously favor HIS son more so than my oldest and it crushes me to see my oldest get upset b/c he's not being played with like his little brother and FH are...
as for the whole bar fiasco, im be soo pissed, im make him sleep on the couch! let him know how immature he is being and remind him that hes going to be a father to a new baby soon and needs to man up!!! stop being hurtful and immature and selfish!
and kudos to you for being so strong despite the hurt and for also treating all the children equally*
as for the whole bar fiasco, im be soo pissed, im make him sleep on the couch! let him know how immature he is being and remind him that hes going to be a father to a new baby soon and needs to man up!!! stop being hurtful and immature and selfish!
and kudos to you for being so strong despite the hurt and for also treating all the children equally*
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
