advice please.

[torilorimommyof2]

So,I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my second child, my husband is going through some pretty intense stuff. He just returned from a deployment and has severe ptsd. I'm worried about what will happen with our second child. He's a wonderful father and a great husband, he says he is really excited to be on baby number 2, but I'm worried about his mental state and he blows up on me pretty much every other day. Do any of you know anything I can do to help him or at least get him to calm down so he's not constantly stressing me or constantly yelling at me? He sees a therapist everyday but it doesn't seem to be working, he wakes up thrashing around some nights.

[dingus55]

until he has even a little hold on things therapy togather isnt ok.  Thier  are alot of things going on with him that he may not be ready to deal with let alone have you hear them.  ill send you a message with more things.  my husband was 4 years ago now and unfortuatly the way things are set up with the militarty the spouse is usually on her own to figure things out.  i learned a lot with my husband.

[lisa1905]

i am so sorry to hear this, i totaly undrestand u , my husband is in army too havea same problem , and i am almost 40 weeks pregnant. mine does not want to go to therapy either, and he does not talk about that 1 year and half that he was over seas. try to get him an appt with VA dr , at least maybe the make him to go.if any gun in ur house try to hide them , and stay strong, i am here if u want to talk to someone :)

[torilorimommyof2]

I've suggested going to his therapy sessions with him, but he said that he does not feel comfortable with me knowing what he went through on his deployment. And I completely agree 20mommy20, it takes someone whose strong to go through this and be the support system for the soldier. I feel like I'm constantly having to be strong, I don't cry when he's around and I don't try to stress him out. I have military spouse friends, but they aren't going through what I am. Again, thank you for your advice!!

[torilorimommyof2]

I've suggested going to his therapy sessions with him, but he said that he does not feel comfortable with me knowing what he went through on his deployment. And I completely agree 20mommy20, it takes someone whose strong to go through this and be the support system for the soldier. I feel like I'm constantly having to be strong, I don't cry when he's around and I don't try to stress him out. I have military spouse friends, but they aren't going through what I am. Again, thank you for your advice!!

[20mommy20]

Maybe even seeing the therapist together is a thought too....that'd be one person who can explain it to u n see Ur feelings n explain to him.

[20mommy20]

Glad to hear Ur husbands home safe n sound and congrats on the pregnancy. I am also a military spouse and I'm pregnant with me n my husbands second daughter. He will be missing the birth and has missed most my pregnancy and same thing happened with my first child. So when he gets back things are very fast pace at home between a new baby a 4yr old coming back to the states the time change an in general reajusting to normal life. My best advice is minimize stress don't sweat the lil things n remember the edgyness doesn't normal last especially if he's seeking help. Things that wouldn't normal stress an average person can cause severe anxieties and stresses to those Jus back from deployment. I think it'd be nice if u had support for urself to like a family member or friend maybe even a someone u can talk to who can explain his side n understand urs. Being a military spouse child or active duty is very hard n requires a strong person . Keep in mind as the wife Ur the stable support glue and pull that makes the world go round. For him Ur children and u. People who are not military don't understand that I think so maybe having a friend whose a military spouse too n been through that may be of comfort for u too. I wish u well and once more congrats on the baby. Feel free to message me if u like.

[MamaBear0612]

I'm not sure that there is medication for PTSD, but there are other treatments...perhaps it's worth him discussing with his therapist, but it's possible only time and continued therapy will help with this issue. Good luck, know PTSD can be hard.

[steph_ut]

I am so sorry to hear this! Do you think he would consider broaching the topic of medication with his therapist? I know taking medicine for emotional/mental problems has a stigma attached to it but when a friend of mine went through a tough time (not ptsd though), minimal amounts of medication helped him to at least keep going and to re-build his life while he was under therapist care...