plz I need help

[maryjav]

So am 36 weeks pregnant n I don't have a babydad ..started talking to my ex bf of 6 years n he wants to be a part of me n the baby life but he wants me to put the baby last name his ...n I just don't know what to do I need advice

[DelainaN]

Well I think it will work out great, sounds like he genuinely loves you especially if he's willing to raise another mans child... Good luck :)

[maryjav]

I don't plan to lie to my kid if one day he asked I will  let him know his dad left ...the story is I was dating my ex for 6 years n half n I left him I wqnted him to change so I dump him to see if one day he would change ...so I was depress n alone so I met this guy n I dated him for 2 months before I dated him we talk for 3 months he said he couldn't have kids n what a surprise last minth that we dated I got pregnant. ..I got tired of him telling me all the time that's not my baby n that he don't know why he messed w a hoe like me ..he told me a lot of hurtful stuff that I ended breaking up w him ..but he never looked for me ...so I started talking to my ex bf again I was about 4 months pregnant n been w him ever since ..that's my story

[gatorgrl12]

My husband was adopted by his dad at birth his mom married this man right after he was born. He was not supposed to find out. Well when he was 14 his parents got divorced. And his annoying mother told him. It screwed my husband up for a long time. He still will never be over it. His dad does love him and treats him as his own and that's all that matters to him.
But the point is you should never lie to them. If this person leaves you their not going to claim your child.
I witnessed this first hand and the hurt it caused. Such a lie can tear someone's world apart.
I see no problem with your baby having a mans last name who wants to raise them and love them. And love you.
I had my fathers last name and I hated it. Never met him and never will. I understand not wanting him their. But I was never told any other man was my father. I did call another man dad but knew the reality.

[maryjav]

Thanks everyone u guys help a lot

[Ariane713]

^^^^^^^this is also very true.

[Belmaa724]

I personally wouldn't do it, but if he is a good man & willing to take on the responsibility, then that's a great thing! I would just give the baby your last name, because he's an ex, & an ex is an ex for a reason, therefore, you never know what the future may hold between you guys.

[maybaby2013]

I think its really good that he is willing to step up and be there for u and ur baby. U defo dont find alot of men like that. And as comment above says, u can change the babys name at any time. Its a simple thing to ask for a huge commitment. Good luck hope it all works out for u.

[baleighsmom7]

Hunny I will tell you this dna doesn't mean sh*t. If your ex wants to be dad and husband let him! The person who got you pregnant doesn't want to be there so y make your baby go with out a father and you without a companion when there is someone who loves you and wants to be there for y'all! If he raises your kid as his own then he is DADDY not the sorry piece of crap that left y'all! Your child will love him even more bc he didn't have to be there but it chose to!

[DelainaN]

Plus you can always change it back to yours if something really bad happens

[DelainaN]

If he's willing to adopt the baby as his own then I feel like giving him his last name would be kinda nice... After all he is stepping up to father a child thats not his which is a big commitment! You got yourself a good man :)

[Ariane713]

I have a family member that did something similar. My cousin isnt ruined from not knowing a dead beat and accepts the man that raised her as her father. Im sure an explanation will be needed at some point, but dont stress about it. But do what you have to do to make sure he is in this for real.

[maryjav]

I got a lot of thinking cuz if the baby would have my last name n my ex bf witch is now my bf  is raising him since a baby he's gonna ask me y doesn't he have his last name ...this is hard n I gotta think about it rwal good but I thank u guys for putting ur opinion

[maryjav]

Like I said there's no baby dad n idont don't plan on telling my kid anything unless one day he ask y he doesn't look like my ex ...if he wver asked me ill just tell him his father simply left n I never hear from him ..I've been on my own with this pregnancy n my ex been here for me

[cristina3065]

The decision is definitely yours, it's a tricky situation! You also need to remind him of the responsibilities of putting his name on the birth certificate. He is assuming total responsibility as the father of the baby and that is not a decision to be taken lightly! If things were to go south in the future between the two of you it would complicate things to have his name on there. I also agree that whatever happens the baby should know the truth about where she/he came from and if he's real serious about being there for you two see where it goes (no need to rush things just to realize you made a mistake) good luck :)

[lanismommy]

I disagree. I feel when the baby gets older she/he needs to know her true heritage & background. When the baby turns into a teenager , how do you think she would feel about having some guy who's not even her father last name. Also if you&him were married & shared a last name then it wouldn't be a problem with your child having the name. Just my opinion . Good luck :)

[vico75005]

Why dont u give both name?

[munchkin2013]

Yup if he is a good guy n is really willing to b with u n ur baby then I dun see a problem in that but I also agree wid the first comment remember y he was ur ex.. y u all broke up n if the same thing is gna make u break up again :/

[ssimms]

If he is genuine about being there for you and the baby then let him as far as giving the baby his last name the choice is yours just think about it before you make a decision good luck :)

[mommygg]

I think if u really love him and he is willing to be there for u u should give him a chance but u should also remember the reason why he is ur ex