I feel this way also...but my mother in law is throwing me one after i mentioned how im planning a big one with my mom. I don't want a division either but i don't want to be rude so i guess I'm having two
My mom had a baby shower for me and I didnt want another one but my pastors wife decided she was throwing me one and I had no say ... sometimes you just have to suck it up
Maybe you can get the both of them to meet up and plan it out together...or one can plan the baby shower and one can plan a welcome home baby party thingy :)