Thought We Were Happy!!

[BABYDOLL774]

Earlier I posted about a dinner suggestion and made meatloaf and some potatoes. well, my hubby and I got into an argument over the cat litter box because I was freaking out that it needed to get cleaned out when he got home earlier. I told him thank you and sorry for being irritated about it. But he just kept getting more upset and saying all these mean things to me, saying how he wants a relationship with someone who doesn't ***** all the time and calling me out saying I treat him like **** and nothing he does for me is ever good enough and on and on ,like I don't even know where that came from! He said well maybe we shouldn't be together because I've turned him into an ahole. Which he is kinda one because he fights with me so bad and says the most meanest things to me the last few months but then we get over it. Anyway he just left out the house and my dinner I cooked for us is still on the stove not even touched. He makes me feel like he doesn't want to be with me anymore we been together for almost 6 years and tried for a long time to have a baby and thought we couldn't because of his sperm analysis and we gave up on the idea of having a child together, then out of nowhere we are expecting our daughter in sept he seemed so happy the first few months but lately we been fighting so bad and I really feel like he doesn't want me anymore! I dint know what to do I'm so sad all the time he hasn't even called me to tell me where he went. We are supposed to move into our first home next month but idk if he even want me too anymore. I hate feeling like I don't know where I or we stand in our relationship anymore! Sorry so long I just need to vent. Anyone else going through some major relationship problems right now like it might end after being together so long!!

[1st_time_mommyscarbro]

^^^agreed 100%
There are many times I have wanted to scream at my husband and throw in the towel but I just blow off steam by listening to music or scrubbing down my house and than we sit down and communicate on how we feel and what we need to do different to make sure we don't go down a bad path in our relationship. You are going to have differences but teamwork is the key :)

[specialmom]

Hi!  Sorry about this situation.  I know how unsettling things are.  I'll tell you --  relationships are a lot of work.  I have found the best way to make any real change in things is for me to look inward.  My own husband can be the worst kind of jerk!  I can pinpoint everything he does wrong and focus on that but in truth, everything just stays the same when I do that.  When real change happens for us, it is because I have looked within and done some adjusting.  Then he notices that I've worked on something within myself and he tries harder.  

So, by your own admission, this started by your blowing out of proportion that the litter box needed cleaning.  That is the moment to think how you could have handled it differently  Said nothing?  Said "honey, sometime in the near future, I'd love if you hit that littler box.  I'll give you a big kiss after it's done."   (or whatever you'd say).  Just a totally different approach.

I'm sure that one issue of the litter box was the final straw to feeling kind of b^itched at.  

Now, I'm not taking his side in any way.  Know that.  But my hope is that you two have a long happy, peaceful relationship together.  And again, sometimes my approach to things can be altered so that my husband reacts better.  It takes self control as we all have habits.   But worth it in the end.  good luck

[emerald9]

Ok kinda not whats important in this conversation but i was told cat poop in a cat litter is not good for a pregnant women to be around...something about is harmful to you and your baby.... now with the rest of the problem is he in anyway maybe thinking you getting pregnant was so impossible that its not his? Just a question that could be going through his mind to make him act like that. ..and does he eventually tell you where he goes?... could he be possibly already cheating if hes not speaking up about were hes leaving too. Im so sorry if this post has you thinking about other things now but i just try to look at the whole picture and none of the other ladies posted this as a possibility. Maybe he fights with you on purpose to have a reason to leave and get away clean by blaming you. Good luck

[aylinn829]

I've been in a relationship for 4 yrs with my hubby we tried for 2 yrs and nothing and just like you out of no were I got pregnant and lost the baby 7months  later got pregnant again and I'm now 18 weeks I'm very emotional and I also told him I feel like we fight more not just that ibcry for every thing he says that sounds rude to me and that just makes it worse but other then that were fine we just have are fusses here and there good luck hope things get better

[1st_time_mommyscarbro]

I think you both should let each other cool off before jumping to conclusions and I feel awful that he can't be man enough to swallow his pride and not take off on you like that. In my marriage our #1 rule is don't say anything out of anger or hurt because you can't take your words back once they are said and they cause resentment! I don't know the full story but being together that long obviously means you love each other very much so maybe just try to relax and give him space and once you have cooled off sit him down and figure out if it's worth moving past this and working on bettering your relationship and move forward. Women, especially pregnant and hormonal ones are quick to walk away upon an argument or disagreement but that's not what relationships are about. You have to work at it and learn to not hurt one another and work as a team :) good luck hun and I hope everything works out for the best :)

[BABYDOLL774]

Thank you, I will try and get some sleep!

[arizaie]

Goodnight. Just try to relax doesn't help the baby much to be stressed out. And tell him how you feel. Just go to bed and rest tomorrow's a new day. Good luck :)

[BABYDOLL774]

Well he came home and we didn't speak, he just went to bed. I'm so over this ****, all the stress and tension between us. I doubt tomorrow will be better. I'm so upset, I'm seriously considering not continuing with this relationship I can't take it anymore! I love him to death but we are at that point where it just might end. goodnight ladies

[arizaie]

Yea we don't have to put up with it. That's why you talk to him and if really wants the relationship to work out he's gonna try to be more understanding you'll be able to tell. And no worries. U welcome

[BABYDOLL774]

Thanks for talking to me ladies I never thought I would be posting about a relationship problem

[BABYDOLL774]

Anytime I tell him it's enough and that the baby is awake and she feels what I feel he gets even more mad at me for saying that.  That's the last thing I said to him before he stormed out, it's been over an hour and it's really late I don't even know where he went, like I shouldn't have to be dealing with this **** especially being this pregnant and him just freaking out on me and screaming at me, slamming **** around, it's so ridiculous how he acts and all he says is that's it's my fault.

[arizaie]

* hormones

[arizaie]

Yeah its all about communication. I was like that at the beginning oh my the jotting drives us crazy. It's hard getting use to the change. But always talk about how both of you are feeling and how you can work things through. And of course I definitely agree with 'thirdtimemum, tell him he needs to be respectful first your his wife, and second the mother if his child. It'll work out. Easier said than done, but I think most of us go through this stage during pregnancy. Good luck ;)

[BABYDOLL774]

I've tried that but we always end up in a really heated argument, then he just leaves. I told him if this keeps happening after the baby we won't be together because I don't want our daughter to grow up stressed out from her parents fighting all the time. I grew up in a gimme like that and so did he. I don't know what to do anymore, he has stressed me out so much these last few months

[thirdtimemum]

Your hormones are running high at the moment, and men stress a lot about having responsibility of a baby. You guys need to take a deep breath and sit down together and TALK. Lack of communication at times like this leads to broken marriages and homes. Maybe find out how he is feeling, and let him know how you feel. I find that men tend to bottle a lot of things up, and then end up exploding over the stupidest of things. Tell him that you won't tolerate him calling you names either, you need to respect each other. Get your communication flowing now, as things might only get worse once baby comes.

[BABYDOLL774]

Thank you I'm trying to, just seems like all of this is coming from nowhere. Hope he isn't thinking about cheating on me. My mind has surely went there when things are like this and the stuff he says to me lately.

[pandamomnium]

Heres the thing about men. . Theyre needy, whiny, little babies themselves. . . .it sounds to me he is freaking out. All this time he thought yall couldnt have a baby and now hes thinking "omg my daughter is almost here" men freak the f.u.c.k out over kids. ESPECIALLY daughters. Because they think of all the stuff their little girl is going to go through. . .let him have his little whiny baby freak out. .he'll probably come around. My friends baby daddy was the same way before their daughter was born. . .hes still a s.h.it.t.y dad but thats his personality. If you and your hubby were happy before itll probably go back to normal after your daughter gets here. Just hang in there.

[BABYDOLL774]

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