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does my ex need to know I'm pregnant?.it's not his baby..follow up
A wk or so ago I posted that I'm in the process of getting a divorce and my current bf is my baby's father. My lawyer advised that he would have to put in my divorce papers that I'm pregnant but I didn't want my ex to find out or he won't be cooperative....to make this short, I asked if I should get another lawyers opinion and the majority response was yes so I did and my new lawyer didn't even ask if I was currently pregnant so I didn't say anything. I'm definitely showing at 20w 5d but I was kind of sucking it in so I looked normal. Idk when my court date is but now I wonder if I should tell my lawyer or not? I got my divorce papers from him and it states on there that "to my knowledge" I'm not currently pregnant. Idk..should I try to hide it? Or come clean?
I was about 2mo preg when I got divorced, not my exs. I had a lawyer n never went to court my lawyer did.
Thank you everyone for your input...after a long thought about this, I've decided that I'm going to stop being a wussy and stop worrying about hurting my exes feelings, and deal with all the horrible name calling and gossip that is about to circle through our group of friends, possibly even block ppl from fb....and just tell my lawyer, I don't want to risk my exes name on my daughters birth certificate. My ex cheated on me with a 21yr old call girl, I don't want to risk him being ant part of my future so I emailed my lawyer and told him I'm 20wks and who the dad is...he hasn't filed with the clerk yet so perfect timing to make the change while it's easy...thanks again!
Weather he needs to know or not is not the issue. The issue is that since your technically still married and pregnant with another mans baby, well that can stir up a whole lot of issues and make a messy divorce- iF you go and try to hide it. And since it legally stated "to your knowledge" then you need to tell the truth or on your behalf it could get messy.
I agree with mommylex . That's exactly right. It may be hard but that's the right thing to do.
Okay, most of these comments are inaccurate IMO. It's not your ex's business. No. It is however your lawyers because it is in your best interest to get this going ASAP.
The thing is you're still legally married. That doesn't look good at all.
You either come clean or look like the bad person here and having a "bf" won't justify your pregnancy. It will make you look unfaithful.
Come clean because your husband needs to sign off on paternity before your boyfriend can do anything relating to the child. Because at the moment, your husband will be considered the child's legal father.
You're committing a crime by not coming clean by the way.
Get your boyfriend involved. Establish HIS paternity and rule out your "ex's" (although legally he is not) because a court will not exclude a name on the certificate. Unless you want your "ex" listed as the father. Say something. But you MIGHT have to wait to finalize the divorce until paternity is established. Goodluck girly.
The thing is you're still legally married. That doesn't look good at all.
You either come clean or look like the bad person here and having a "bf" won't justify your pregnancy. It will make you look unfaithful.
Come clean because your husband needs to sign off on paternity before your boyfriend can do anything relating to the child. Because at the moment, your husband will be considered the child's legal father.
You're committing a crime by not coming clean by the way.
Get your boyfriend involved. Establish HIS paternity and rule out your "ex's" (although legally he is not) because a court will not exclude a name on the certificate. Unless you want your "ex" listed as the father. Say something. But you MIGHT have to wait to finalize the divorce until paternity is established. Goodluck girly.
If it's sooner than you're all right, I'll tell my lawyer....it's not going to be easy for my ex to find out but you're right, I have come clean and just deal with the consequences of him being difficult about the divorce...he's the one that ended it by cheating, idk why I'm trying to not hurt his feelings.
I'm in IL, idk if the judge will ask me. My sister would know, she got divorced a few years ago. I'm due june 25th, that is a good idea to wait until after the baby. I am in the very beginning stages of the filing, it might take 4 months to get everything together anyway.
They ask that so if you are pregnant that if you say its not his they have to be able to prove it to make sure that you won't go at him for money for the baby. They are just trying to get it to where there is no attachments between you two after the divorce is done. I am going through the same thing as well. I am trying to leave my husband and I have signed them all and I had to tell them I was pregnant but it wasnt his. So if I were you tell your lawyer that you are. And even if your ex finds out its not any of his business and he can keep his opinions about it to himself. Congrats on the baby!!
In my state by law if u have the baby while ur still married they automatically put ur husbands name on the BC so on that note they can say its his and ur keeping it from him and u can get into major trouble with the courts
You know when your due... so if the court date is before that time just have your lawyer reschedule it for after the baby gets here. You won't be pregnant and your ex will just assume you have gained weight. Either that or tell your lawyer. The judge will probably ask if you are pregnant, they did me.
Your Ex doesn't need to know if your pregnant only if is his but its not...your going for a divorce thats it its doesn't matter if your pregnant if there was infidelity in the relationship or not they just focus on getting you guys divorce thats what the state of California does I dont know what state you might be in but I assume the same law should apply in every state
You can get in big trouble lying in open court perjury charges don't look good when you have a child on the way
I think you should tell if you don't and it comes up they will think it's his and you are trying to keep it from him and it will look bad and they could take your baby (that's what I would be worried about) from what I have been told by others I have never actually been in the situation they consider it yours and his with out proof so I would say from the start its with the new bf. Then most likely they will demand a paternity test and everything should be fine if it's not his. But not disclosing info could get you into a lot of questions and you don't want to blindside your own lawyer. Goodluck
My ex and I don't have any kids, the only thing we have together is a house and I filed for the divorce to get my name off the mortgage...it's stated in the divorce that he has to refinance or sell in 12 months, I don't think he'll sign the papers if he finds out and I'll be stuck on the mortgage for the next 30yrs or whenever he decides to sell. He knows my bf, and he's not going to be very cooperative at all. I'm so nervous....
And you guys Are still married right ?, because the divorce didn't process yet. So yeah that's a nasty situation. Just to NOT feel awkward and like I have to hide something, I would tell him and the lawyer.
You need to come clean. This situation sound messy all the way. But truthfulness is the key hun !
I would think you have to tell him by the time your court date.you.well be huge. You should tell you're lawyer
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