Aa
am i wrong?
So my bf has become good friends with my bestfriends boyfriend, which i love and they live upstairs from us so it works out. But he left our house and said hey im gonna go up and hangout with my friend so i said okay but i needed him for something about 35min later so i walk upstairs to my friends apartment and my bf isnt there. I walk outside and see him leaned against a car talking to this girl that lives down the street. She is a lesbian but ive asked him not to talk to her because i dont trust him or her and he said okay but clearly he still talks to her.. like i dont know what they were talking about and i asked him why he lied and said he was going upstairs and why he was speaking to her. He started yelling saying i was wrong and he shouldnt have to tell me where he goes every second and said that he was only talking to her about some guy that just went to the hospital tat they know. Uh do i have the right to be upset or is it just my hormones?
Oh goodness, well. I'm glad to here THAT as that sure makes things easier if it is time to say goodbye. Only you can decide but he sounds like he is being sneaky and you don't need that. Let us know how it goes! peace and hugs
Well none of my family is really stable except me:/ its my apartment so he is the one who would be leaving. And he doesnt have a job so i support all of us by myself.
Ugh, it does sound like he is completely unworthy. I know it is hard when you're having his baby (well, babies!!) but I think your inner voice is telling you what to do. do you have a supportive family that you can stay with??
No i dont think so. But ive been trying so hard to make it work but its just not worth me stressing all the time.
Oh. That explains it. he's EARNED this situation of you not trusting him. Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you sure he's worthy of you?
I dont trust him because he has cheated in the past and has a child with the woman. And i mean he seriously lies about everything! Im trying to trust him but then he constantly lies like about small things too. And recently he has been deleting all of his texts & face. Book messages like why erase them if you have nothing to hide? Im exhausted from constantly worrying. I dont have sex with him anymore because im so afraid that he is sleeping with some one else and will give me some type of std while im carrying his twins.
Hi there. Well, I've been there where I try to control someone else and who they talk to and such. What was hard about it was how it made me feel. Like this desperation that if I didn't do that, they'd maybe leave me or cheat or something. I hated that part of it. Finally, I realized that I didn't want to do that anymore.
Are you legitimately afraid your boyfriend will cheat? I just ask because you say you don't trust him or her. My husband doesn't have female friends that he has relationships outside of me (as in they are my friends too) and I think it is reasonable to say you don't want him calling other girls or what not. But the added comment you made about not trusting him or her makes me worry a bit.
You've got to trust who you are with or you'll always be in a position of feeling like you have to check up on them or set boundaries. I'm not sure how to get things to that point of if you don't trust him because of past things like his cheating on you . . . but if you talk to him in a way that says "you can't talk to her" verses "I just feel bad when you are talking to her because I don't know her (or whatever you want to insert here), it might go better. Does that make sense?
I try to talk to my husband so that he doesn't get defensive. He had a coworker that was calling him ALL the time. A woman, obviously, because it bothered me. I told him that the reason why things could 'happen to someone that didn't think they ever would because they put themselves in a position that is vulnerable. Her calling and talking personal chit chat was unnecessary and made him vulnerable to either her trying to get closer or people thinking they were closer and that just wasn't good for us. He agreed and stopped taking her calls. Mostly just to make me more comfortable and maybe it was unreasonable for me to ask him to keep it just business, but my warning bells told me I should do that. It was just that one case though. If I felt that way all the time . . . I'd go nuts and the problem would either be my own insecurity or that my husband was a bad dude.
Anyway, I feel your pain. Find a way to talk reasonably to your boyfriend so he doesn't feel like he's a little boy and 'can't do something but instead that if he lies or talks to someone you aren't comfortable with, it worries you and causes you to wonder about the relationship. What can HE do to make YOU feel better (which then he may try to do that by NOT lying and not talking to this girl??).
good luck. Relationships are hard work!
Are you legitimately afraid your boyfriend will cheat? I just ask because you say you don't trust him or her. My husband doesn't have female friends that he has relationships outside of me (as in they are my friends too) and I think it is reasonable to say you don't want him calling other girls or what not. But the added comment you made about not trusting him or her makes me worry a bit.
You've got to trust who you are with or you'll always be in a position of feeling like you have to check up on them or set boundaries. I'm not sure how to get things to that point of if you don't trust him because of past things like his cheating on you . . . but if you talk to him in a way that says "you can't talk to her" verses "I just feel bad when you are talking to her because I don't know her (or whatever you want to insert here), it might go better. Does that make sense?
I try to talk to my husband so that he doesn't get defensive. He had a coworker that was calling him ALL the time. A woman, obviously, because it bothered me. I told him that the reason why things could 'happen to someone that didn't think they ever would because they put themselves in a position that is vulnerable. Her calling and talking personal chit chat was unnecessary and made him vulnerable to either her trying to get closer or people thinking they were closer and that just wasn't good for us. He agreed and stopped taking her calls. Mostly just to make me more comfortable and maybe it was unreasonable for me to ask him to keep it just business, but my warning bells told me I should do that. It was just that one case though. If I felt that way all the time . . . I'd go nuts and the problem would either be my own insecurity or that my husband was a bad dude.
Anyway, I feel your pain. Find a way to talk reasonably to your boyfriend so he doesn't feel like he's a little boy and 'can't do something but instead that if he lies or talks to someone you aren't comfortable with, it worries you and causes you to wonder about the relationship. What can HE do to make YOU feel better (which then he may try to do that by NOT lying and not talking to this girl??).
good luck. Relationships are hard work!
Im with everyone else...What did he lie for? If it was as innocent as he said it was there was no need to lie or get so defensive about it. Clearly he never had any intention of going upstairs and knew that he was going to meet her. Either he's up to something or he lied to avoid having the "i don't want you talking to her" convo with you.
He yelled at you because he new he was wrong and was trying to blame you, he got defensive because he got caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. If you think he's lieing..keep casually asking about the hospital story and see if any part of it has changed and watch his eyes...they will tell you everything.
Honestly i dont know why. I think i stay with him because ive been with him for over 5yrs and its hard to throw that away. Also he is the only person that'll watch our 4yr old daughter while im at work.
Oh I just read that u dont trust him...nevermind he was wrong for lying and getting mad.
Yeah I would get super mad ...but my bf gets defensive easily bcus hes the type that doesnt like being questioned when he says something thats the truth and when u push it he gets mad but I've never had any trudt issues with him. Hesvto straight forward so maybe ur bf is like that??? Idk sounds fishy tho
He lied. You're not wrong. For one he shouldn't lie, two even if he doesn't understand he shouldn't talk to someone you don't want him to and three its not your hormones that was a d*ck move on his part.
Yeah exactly i feel like if you thought you werent doing anything wrong you wouldnt get defensive.
If you don't trust him, perhaps you shouldn't be dating. That's a huge problem when you can't trust your partner.
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