feeling guilty....

[lpewitt44]

So I'm not usually the one to just put my business out there...but I'm feeling guilty for having his baby and guilty because he's happy with me....my husband is from guatemala.he's been here almost 4 years and he has a 5 yr old little girl in guatemala....we really want to bring her here with us for multiple reasons and he really misses his daughter...last night he actually started crying(this is the first time I've ever seen him cry)he was saying how our little boy will have both his parents an his daughter doesn't have either of her parents....the little girl stays with my husbnds parents because the mom is always out doing her own thing and she won't allow the little girl to come here because she wants my husband to continue sending money....but it made me feel guilty like I'm taking away from this littl girl and because my son will have both his parents while the little girl is in guatemala living with her grandparents...it really upset me to see my husband cry....but how can I overcome this feeling of guilt? Has anyone been in a situation similar to this? Any words of encouragement or advice will help!!!!

[glittergirl88]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My fiance is in a similar one. Unfortunately you can not go to court for this. You can not go after someone in a different country. He would have to go back to Guatemala and go to court there, prove that the mom is an unfit mother (which requires lots of proof) get full custody, and then take the kid over here. In order to get a kid into a different country legally you have to have permission from both parents.

[Nadias_Mami]

I was in the same situation except my husband is from mexico and unfortunately the mom found out about our plan to bring his son here and she took him away but then she took him back to his grandparents because he got really sick and couldn't afford to take care of him, and well as of right now he's to sick to travel (he has leukemia and is undergoing chemo) but my my husbands parents got custody of him so as soon as he gets better he will be here with us :)

[lpewitt44]

Were trying to come up with a plan to bring her here...i tell my husband that if he were to offer the mother the right amount of money she would let her come here.although al the money he sends is given to the grandparents for the childs expenses,he still sends the money to the mothers name for proof that the money is being sent and also because if he didnt the mother would go take the little girl away from his grandparents and disappear for months maybe longer(shes done this before) im just feeling really guilty because if it werent for meeting me,he probably would have already went back to be with his daughter.i feel as if im robbing this little girl of her father and feel guilty because my child will have him close while the little girl is many miles away missing him

[marajean21]

You guys should try to get her over here. If that little girl is with his parents all day, every day, then you guys should have a fighting chance in court because his parents can testify. I'm sorry you feel guilty and I understand why, but try to keep your head up girly

[Morrisfamily2012]

i agree the grandparents should be the ones receiving money for the child not the mother. the grandparents should try to get custody of the girl there and then they seem they would be willing to let the little girl come live with her father and you. i also think your husband would feel better if he knows you are trying to help. one last thing i want to say is my niece has been raised by my mother and step father which he has been around since before she was born. she is completely happy and well rounded. she has a good relationship with her mother who is apart of her life, she was just young and my mom stepped in and it turned into my niece staying with my parents. anyway all i'm trying to say by that is having 2 grandparents is just like having 2 parents. sometimes it's better.

[Mom2amiracle2012]

If she is living with the grandparents, the mom should not be receiving money from him. Once that ends, maybe the mom will see things differently.

[Swtshae]

Though I have not been in a situation like the one you've mentioned I could understand why you're feeling guilty. Have you talked with your husband about maybe having his daughter come to live with you guys? I think one way to maybe help with the guilt is to find a solution to the problem and figure out how to handle it. That would probably help your husband feel better knowing you're trying to find a solution to the problem. Good luck!