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Avatar universal

feeling like the only one thats excited

Im a ftm. My sons father has a 4 year old daughter, and her mother never let him come around while she was pregnant so he didnt get to feel the baby kick, see the ultrasounds or anything like that. We spend a lot of time together and I try to give him the best experience of feeling the movements and everything, but he just seems numb to it all. It makes me feel uncomfortable to telling him anything or when the baby kicks, to putting his hand on my stomach. Tomorrow hes going to the first baby apt hes ever been too and he seems like he doesnt want too.. I dont want to make him feel bad by telling him that I feel he doesnt care, but I dont know what else to do at this point.. I feel like I cant share the precious irreplaceable moments with him, when hes the only one I actually want to share them with:( any advice on how to talk to him about it, and make him more comfortable about the situation?
2 Responses
5981907 tn?1383752469
In all honesty, guys are weird when it comes to this type of thing.  I'm also a FTM and my daughters father has 2 boys (ages 4 and 6).  When it came to picking things out like furniture and clothes or different baby items, he had that "been there done that" attitude.  So, I left him out of it.  I did what I had to do.  Not long after I had decided to stop bringing things up and trying to include him, he immediately wanted to get involved.  After all, she is his only and first daughter.

I would definitely let him know how you feel though.  I did tell my daughters dad that it hurt my feelings and that he was stealing the joy from me (being that this is my first baby regardless if he's been through it before).  Once I put it like that... "He was stealing my joy"  he straightened up a little bit and started to let me actually enjoy being pregnant and wanted to rub my belly and come see the ultrasounds.  

Just don't force his hand with anything.  If he wants to be there and be happy and experience everything with you, he will be.  If not, enjoy it yourself.  Do you.  Do what you gotta do.  Feel your baby BY YOURSELF!! LOL... After all, pregnancy is a beautiful thing.  

Hope this helps...
Avatar universal
That definitely helps! I was just feeling lost and I didnt know what to do except be upset.. but that gave me encouragement to just be happy even if its only me! Thank you very much:)
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