Avatar universal

feeling like the only one thats excited

Im a ftm. My sons father has a 4 year old daughter, and her mother never let him come around while she was pregnant so he didnt get to feel the baby kick, see the ultrasounds or anything like that. We spend a lot of time together and I try to give him the best experience of feeling the movements and everything, but he just seems numb to it all. It makes me feel uncomfortable to telling him anything or when the baby kicks, to putting his hand on my stomach. Tomorrow hes going to the first baby apt hes ever been too and he seems like he doesnt want too.. I dont want to make him feel bad by telling him that I feel he doesnt care, but I dont know what else to do at this point.. I feel like I cant share the precious irreplaceable moments with him, when hes the only one I actually want to share them with:( any advice on how to talk to him about it, and make him more comfortable about the situation?
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
5981907 tn?1383748869
In all honesty, guys are weird when it comes to this type of thing.  I'm also a FTM and my daughters father has 2 boys (ages 4 and 6).  When it came to picking things out like furniture and clothes or different baby items, he had that "been there done that" attitude.  So, I left him out of it.  I did what I had to do.  Not long after I had decided to stop bringing things up and trying to include him, he immediately wanted to get involved.  After all, she is his only and first daughter.

I would definitely let him know how you feel though.  I did tell my daughters dad that it hurt my feelings and that he was stealing the joy from me (being that this is my first baby regardless if he's been through it before).  Once I put it like that... "He was stealing my joy"  he straightened up a little bit and started to let me actually enjoy being pregnant and wanted to rub my belly and come see the ultrasounds.  

Just don't force his hand with anything.  If he wants to be there and be happy and experience everything with you, he will be.  If not, enjoy it yourself.  Do you.  Do what you gotta do.  Feel your baby BY YOURSELF!! LOL... After all, pregnancy is a beautiful thing.  

Hope this helps...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
That definitely helps! I was just feeling lost and I didnt know what to do except be upset.. but that gave me encouragement to just be happy even if its only me! Thank you very much:)
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Community

Top Pregnancy Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.