godparents...

[Cyn_henderson]

So I've had my godparents picked out since day one. I want 4 (to go with the plan if god forbid anything happens to my husband and I.) Anyway, to make it fair I'm picking two and so is my husband. At first he was picking a different couple that I love an have two gorgeous little girls. But now he's telling me another couple. I love them, but they're not exactly the brightest of the bunch...an he's admitted to that too...at least with the other couple our Emmelia would have someone to play with. An the couple are great parents...but the other two. I love them but the husband is all about "woman aren't ment to work. They're ment to make their husbands happy." Which we argue about every time we see each other. I just don't exactly know what to say about this to my hubby.

[Cyn_henderson]

I just want to be finished writing it before she's born so we can take it to this place on base. Forgot what it was called but it'll be added to my husbands will an will be the start of mine. Just any advice on key things I should have in it? I want to make sure I don't miss anything.

[mrsnelson2010]

Agree..you have to have a legally binding will. Stating your child goes to whomever it is you decide. Without that will it is not legal and your child would either go to the next of kin, or become a child of the state.

[AnnieBrooke]

It's fine to have a plan, but in the event of the catastrophe (thank heavens it doesn't happen often) of the two of you dying in a common disaster or close in time to each other (i.e., so there is no time for the remaining parent to write a will), you need to have your choices of guardian for your child memorialized in a way that's legally binding.  A friend died of deep-vein thrombosis when her baby was born, and she had not written a will, and her boyfriend was not able to care for the child properly and her parents finally went to court to get custody, an emotional event that cost everyone a lot of time, money and especially grief.  That kind of thing shouldn't happen but it occasionally does.  Even if you are not entirely satisfied with what you write in your will, you should write one.  You can always go back and change it later if you think of a better plan or you and your husband come to a different agreement.

[Cyn_henderson]

I already have a plan..an he knows...Just he keeps flipping back an forth. I have my two. Just frustrating.

[AnnieBrooke]

Godparents are not legal guardians; let him pick whomever he wants.  Godparents' only job is to see to it that the child receives proper religious instruction in the church.

Unlike who is godparent, legal guardianship is something that needs to be specified in your wills.  When you are writing the will, the attorney will ask you to name a first, second (and maybe third) choice of who would be the guardians of your child if you both die.  It's one of the toughest decisions you'll ever have to make.  If you choose a couple, you will probably be asked to specify which member of a couple would become the guardian of your child if they divorce, and if one dies would you want your child to go to the next couple or to stay with the remaining person.   Some people also name a separate financial guardian from the person who is caring for the child.  And you thought it was tough to discuss who is going to be the godparents!  :)

Anyway, give your husband the godparents he wants, you have bigger things to decide.