Baby shower

[MissmyAngel]

Sorry this is kind of a rant, but I'm open to suggestion..
So I have this friend who kept telling me at the beginning of my pregnancy that she was going to put on a baby shower for me. She was supposed to put on a baby shower for her niece too, but at the last minute decided not to show up because "there was someone she didn't like that was going to be there". She also "forgot" to show up at a friends baby shower. So because of this I really don't trust her to be putting on my baby shower. I want someone who is going to actually show up!
Time went on and she stopped talking about it, until recently I've stated getting antsy because I have no idea what to do about a baby shower. My house is too small to put one on here, and I expressed my concern to my DH that I really want a baby shower and I'll be full term in less than nine weeks. Noone else has offered :(
So DH tells her about my concerns about not getting a baby shower, and all of a sudden she is all interested again, though she refuses to set a date (she says she wants it to be a suprise) and doesnt want me to help with the preparation. I understand that I'm not supposed to put on my own baby shower, but I would like to get involved somewhat so this can be "perfect" as I'm only doing this once..Not only that, she hasn't even asked me about who I would like to invite...Uh, Isn't that important?
I would rather put on my own shower than to let her take the reins as now I'm really stressed that its going to be a disaster, or else not happen at all...I just don't know what to do. The only family I have around here is my Grandma and Mom. My Grandma is in her 80's and not doing so well, and my Mom hasn't offered either, and besides she lives too far away for my friends to be able to get there. (Not many people around here have licences)
Am I being ungrateful? And now that DH has got it in her head, how am I supposed to tell her that I don't want her to put on my shower without hurting her feelings?
Sorry for such a long post...

[MissmyAngel]

You misunderstood me..The point of having a baby shower is not to get "stuff", (at least in my eyes) and I already have most of what I need..It took me several years, a laparoscopy operation, a miscarriage and a lot of heartache to get to where I am, and I would really like to celebrate my babys birth!
My friend does mean well, but she isn't very reliable and she doesn't work so I honestly don't think it will pan out if I just trust her to put on a shower for me. I just don't know how to convince her to let me help at least somewhat; really I just want to help to figure out the date, place and invites, which she is refusing to let me help with.
Today my Mom mentioned my baby shower and said she would have it at her house, except that she lives too far away for most of the people I know to get there. So maybe I can convince my friend that my Mom is going to help, lol...That way if she is a "no show" then at least I can fall back on my Mom to host the party!

[jschoch8]

well to be honest, no one by me anyway, throws their own shower. I would just let your friend plan it for you as she says and I would try not to get involved too much. I know you want your shower to be "perfect" but I dont think you should be part of the planning really at all, and just trust your friend to throw you a nice shower. If no one threw a shower for me, I probably wouldve just sucked it up and bought the items I need myself.

[alaysha]

Id choose a venue like a restuarant and book it for your shower and then let her know. Also give her a list of your friends and advise that you'll help create the invites. Explain to her that you want to be involved and let her help you if she chooses.