Spend whatever you can afford and feel comfortable spending. Obviously you can't neglect bills and things but even if it's just 20-40$ a pay period that you set aside till you have what you want then do it. There's nothing wrong with that.
Im the only one paying bills its actually hard and stressfull on me when I do have to think about my childs needs to
I totally feel you I'm in the same boat. But every penny counts even if it doesn't seem like it.
For my babyshower i probably had about 12 guests for my first , and i honestly thought i got nothing for my baby but when i had to open thw presents i got more than enough clothes and pampers and etc it really helped alot ! I think you should give it a shot !:)