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4020799 tn?1355825570

men.... vent

Well after banging on to u girls about how fantastic my fella is and how our relationship is amazing it turns out i was living in a bubble!!! He told me tonight after 12 years together (via text) that hes not happy and doesnt want to be with me..... i was like seriously our daughter is due in a week. I dont know wether to be heart broken or pissed off! Im absolutly devestated. We spoke and he said he doesnt know what he wants, just that hes not happy, doesnt want to lose me but doesnt know if he wants to be with me. Im so confused right now, my friend has been round and suggested maybe he is just scared.... hes not the only one!! Why do this now?
15 Responses
Avatar universal
well let him go "figure" himself out! He'll come back like a lost little puppy apologizing at your feet. Men disgust me for this very reason.
Avatar universal
Oh he's just scared of reality. Is this your first?  Boys comprahend life differently to girls. They see the easiest way out while we fight through it all!! He needs to get his **** together! See how he is when bubs is here!
1806883 tn?1458321004
why do this now? I think the answer is because men are ultimately selfish and generally only think about themselves, I mean who in there right mind would leave their partners a week out from their baby being born or just after their baby is born... men.... they do it all the time, why? because they're selfish and the lime light all of a sudden isnt just on them anymore, I would be pissed and tell him to sort himself out else where and not be in a hurry to let him back, if he misses the birth of his child then thats something that he will have to come to terms with, you can do this with or without him, so be strong for yourself and baby :)
4020799 tn?1355825570
I cant keep doing this. I cant live in limbo not knowing whether hes gonna be there or not. I wont put my daughter thru it. But it hurts so much
3185867 tn?1348434443
Same thing happened to me last uear with my now husband. Lol hell come back
Avatar universal
don't even go out of your way to speak to him anymore. It's extremely too close to your daughter's birth for him to be acting like this. and like stacey10 said, you CAN do this with or without him if needed.
1806883 tn?1458321004
I would put him out of your mind and for your own sake think like he's not comming back, yes it hurts like sh it but this is when you have to concentrate on yourself and baby and push all that anger out to him, he's don this not you, its a low act and you dont derserve this
2863077 tn?1436670789
I'm sorry.  He can't have his cake and eat it too.  Maybe just give him time?  Make sure he isn't interested in anyone else, cause ya know sometimes thats why things like this happens... not saying it is!  Good luck momma!
Avatar universal
Ima just tell you my story! During my pregnancy my bf took me through hell and back!!!! And even a couple days after birth. He told me how he didn't have to be with me he just had to take care of our daughter and that was it. Being so in love with him I was just heart broken. I didn't want to be without him at all! Well after I quickly realized that me being upset about everything wasn't doing anything but taking me through depression I quickly started on working on letting it go. A week later I get a message how he can't stand to be without me and how he wants his family etc etc. I told him that he know exactly what to do to get his family back and left it at that. Next thing I know he was coming over alot more (we don't live together) calling alot more. Being more open about his family and relationship. Just an overall 180 took place and I mean 180. It was surreal too good to believe but nothing has changed back yet so I am enjoying it. So with that being said Idk what is going on with your guy but keep faith and hope alive!
Avatar universal
Everything happens for a reason an god never gives u more then u can handel  I went threw something like this but came to find out it was cuz from the mnth I got preg he was seeing not only one but 4 dif girls an I was so blind cuz I wanted my son to have mom an dad he took something from me I'll never get back I had to have emergency c/s so they put me to sleep before I could even see my son cuz all the pain I was in he took pics of my first born son an sent to every girl he was sleeping with not saying that's gonna happen to u but maybe this is to show u there is something better waiting for u
Avatar universal
Everything happens for a reason an god never gives u more then u can handel  I went threw something like this but came to find out it was cuz from the mnth I got preg he was seeing not only one but 4 dif girls an I was so blind cuz I wanted my son to have mom an dad he took something from me I'll never get back I had to have emergency c/s so they put me to sleep before I could even see my son cuz all the pain I was in he took pics of my first born son an sent to every girl he was sleeping with not saying that's gonna happen to u but maybe this is to show u there is something better waiting for u
4020799 tn?1355825570
Hes just come home from his friends where he was suposed to be staying tonight (he walked home, its about a 20min drive) hes told me he loves me. Im so confused right now i couldnt say it back. Its not like we r kids (im 27 hes 30) n have not been together long. Yes the pregnancy was a shock to both of us but shes happening sooner rather than later, i just cant look at him without crying right now never mind talk to him.
Avatar universal
just go be by yourself for a while. Is there a family member/friend's house you can go to?
Avatar universal
He is just scared. Give him some time he'll come around.
Avatar universal
Let him go hell come back trust me ....when he calls dont answer it right away same with text when he ask why didnt pick i was busy sometimes guys need a lil awakening.....reality is hitting him so he feels maybe thats his already lockdown on top of that a baby....another thing ask him why his not happy?
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