Aa
mother in law
Does anyone else have a mother in law who thinks its okay to post what the gender of your baby is before you or your husband have the chance to? Or post pictures of the baby's room before us too? And says it doesn't matter that she posted it because it only went out to her friends and not any of ours... and be mad at us for saying that it wasnt her place to have posted it yet and that she just wants to show her excitement for the baby and mad at us for not letting her. How do you deal with people like this? Seriously I'm 19 weeks pregnant and I'm so upset about this and she makes it seem like its not even a big deal. Its my f-ing baby and she has taken things away from me that I will never get back.
My mother in law is exactly the same. She doesn't accept me now nor before. That's why I treat her like that because since in the beginning she made me feel like sh*** and of course nobody like that .you have every right to be mad . idk why mother in laws are like that
This also isnt the first time she has disrespected me, she tried to call off my marriage, she tried to control how we should say our vows after she told us that we are too young and it wouldn't work, she threw us a wedding shower which I really appreciated but invited their entire family who I didnt know and I sat in a corner and didnt talk to anyone the entire time, she tried to tell me that my husband has more of a say in how we decorate our home, and every time we go to a family event she wants a picture of just her, her husband, and her kids, even though I am now part of the family whether she likes it or not and it wouldn't be such a big deal if she does it once in awhile but its seriously every time the family is together and she has me take the picture like I'm not even part of the family. I'm to the point where I want nothing to do with her and she is supposed to be helping my mom setup for my baby shower but part of me doesn't even want her there.
I just feel like she is disrespecting me on a whole other level because we invited her into our home to visit us and she still feels like she hasn't done anything wrong and gets mad at me for not wanting anything to do with her while she is here. She lives in Illinois and we are living in Florida. So we are quite a ways apart and dont see each other often and I feel if she is going to disrespect me in my own home that she isn't welcome here nor will she be welcome in my child's life. She just has to realize that I'm the mother of this child and I have a say in who watches her and who is around her.
Negative the bby is yours the fact that is her grandchildren doesn't change anything is ur bby not hers. Me an my mother in law don't get along shes always In our business finally she understood that me n her can't have a good communication because the way she is. One thing that in Going to give her a grandchildren doesn't change anything bten me n her.
Anotherboyinnovforthismommy I actually think your crazy it is HER child and she only has to share whatever her and her partner are comfortable with sharing, her child is not a toy it will be her son/daughter and she has the absolute right to be in charge (alongside the father) of anything to do with him and if people don't understand that then she has the RIGHT to put her foot down and say her child her rules and they need to be respected.
Don't forget she's your baby's grandmother. I completely disagree with the idea that the child is all yours that's ridiculous. When it domes to how you raise your child ok yes. But everything else is to be shared. And remember hormones make you feel strongly about things that won't matter latter.
- for example this happened to me my ex sister N- law was always around my baby when I was busy she would take care of her well one day I went to store came back and I got on my fb and she had put a video of my daughter running in the hallway with no pamper on and she thought that was cute and I told her who do you think you are posting things like that of my baby shouldn't you ask me first she said no cause that's my niece I could post whatever I want and I got mad at her and I said no you cannot she's my daughter thing sou ask me first and she didn't listen to me she was just laughing
I would be very upset. It's disresepctfull. If she wanted her friends to know things maybe offer to tag her in posts.
Me personally I don't think it's right cause that's yall's baby and yall should be able to tell people first not her , X a use some people could well the mother in law is all excited and not them I think yall have all the rights to be mad cause yall should be able to tell and share those things first before anyone else that's my opinion.
I so understand you. I try to keep as far away from my mother in law. She is so noisy. I try not to mention nothing about my bby when we go visit ger because she judges too much. Just try not to pay attention that's all we can do. Because mother in law are always going to be there in your business
Is this her first grandchild? She probably didn't think it would be that big of a deal. I understabd that this is your first child and you want to be able to announce certain things first but just tell her that next time you would like for her to ask you first before she posts anything else! After your baby gets here I'm sure you'll appreciate all the love and support that you'll receive from her!
We've already told her that and she just doesn't understand the concept of us getting the first word. And its funny how my parents have told me that they won't post anything until me and my husband have decided that we want to but his mom just doesn't think its fair to make her wait. And when we said something all she said to me was dont be mad we are all just so excited. Which just makes me even more mad.
The worst part about it is my husband is sticking up for her he was like yes she was in the wrong and being disrespectful but you shouldn't hold it over her head. I said its easier for you to let it go because its your mom and we don't see it the same way. This is important to me because its my first baby and he just doesn't see it the same
Sharing info on social media should be your decision. My own mom hasn't posted anything without my permission. And I do think its a big deal, it's your news to share. Just tell her how you feel and how you are happy she's excited. But in the end, you should always get the first word about your child, including social media
Just had an argument witg my step mom about this last night. She's going around telling everyone all my news about the baby and engagement and got pissed at me cause I told her that it was making me upset.
I have alot of issues with my mil I got to the point where she won't be in my son's life. I would set boundaries it's your child not hers. She had her chance and no you don't have to share your child...they are yours and if you want to do something that's yours.
I personally do think that it's kind of a big deal. That's disrespectful to you. My mil is the same way even has tried telling me how to raise my son that I'm doing everything wrong. Apparently I'm doing things wrong because I don't give him sodas and cookies all day -_- and he's not fat like my nephew is. Trust me I know how you feel, let her be upset all she wants this isn't her pregnancy. Mils don't know when to back off
I'm sorry that happened and understand how frustrating that can be. I get where the other lady said in the long run its not that big of a deal but it is to you right now! Just don't tell her things you want to keep private. Once you tell then she can know. Like you said it's your baby. If she gets upset about it oh well. You've told her to keep things to herself and she didn't so you're taking into your own hands. Then down the road she can say it wasn't a big deal. Hope this helps! :)
Personally I think she's right. But I only say that because in time these little things won't matter. I'll never forget putting my son the swing for what I thought was his first time and being so excited that I almost cried then having my sister in law tell me we took him to the park twice already-____- not only did they not tell me but she purposely busted my little bubble and took enjoyment out of how sad it made me that I didn't get to see his first time on a swing. Over a year later I look back on it and realize it was silly. Its your child yes but he's her grandchild as we'll. one of you has to be the bigger person and decide to share. And trust me it ain't gonna be her. So the next time she upsets you by being overbearing just think about how much she must love your child and remember that's your child's grandmother. Pls don't be one of those moms that cuts ties with family over things that won't matter 20yrs from now.
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