RISK!! HELP!!

[Rori606]

Ok so I know this might be a little dumb to be asking, as I pretty much know the answer, but here I go anyway!
I am 34 weeks along in my pregnancy, the father of my baby left about 4 months ago...not to be seen or heard from again! Anyway I have been seeing someone for the last month or so, and really like him, we have NOT had sex....
Well, last night we were laying in bed and he said he had to tell me something before we could take anything to the next level, sexually. Well he has genital herpes.
I know the basic facts, that you can catch it from skin to skin contact even if there is no sign of an outbreak,  but what about from his semen? Can I catch this STD from him ejaculating? I wonder, because he and I have been friends for 2 years now, and only just decided to take things further, but I do not want to risk mine or the safety of my unborn daughter. Am I foolish for wanting to be with him anyway? UGH sombody help!!

[Rori606]

Thank you for the bit of advice. I have found out that he does not have Herpes, it is genital warts, and he had the chryotherapy to have them removed. I have spoken to my doctor and he has expressed to me that it should be fine for us to have a healthy sexual relationship (with protection of course) since he has had the warts removed.
My doctor, whom I see now once a week, is also keeping an eye on any potential symptoms that I have or may develop, that would give him any signs of myself having contracting this diseaase! So far there has been nothing worth worrying about! YAY!! He has cautioned me that although we are being careful with condoms, they can still break and that I may not be fully protected, but still things are looking good for me!!!
Thank you again, for your post and concern!

[Tah8307]

If you do decide to have sex with him and you contract herpes if you have your first outbreak while pregnant there is a chance your daughter could be born blind or deaf and there are other birth defects that could also harm your unborn baby I wouldn't risk it you can still contract it even when using a condom but after you have her talk to him about getting put on valtrex it is for people with herpes who don't want it to spread to there partner it usally takes 4 weeks in his system to be affective but he could start it now and that would be plenty
Of time to work talk with your doctor and have you and him talk to his about your options. Wish up the best and good luck with everything

[Rori606]

So I saw the doctor yesterday, and he says that everything is going great with me and the baby! I am showing no signs of having contracted this disease, and he will continue to check each visit! And you are right, you can't help who you fall in love with, especially when that person has so many great qualities that outwiegh something like an STD! Thank you all for your advice!

[Melka76]

Don't be angry at yourself - you can not help who you fall in love with and sometimes these little imperfections like and STD pop up.  At least he told you and now you can research it and decide for yourself if the relationship is worth the risk for you - but I would wait until the baby was born to even explore that.... Best of Luck toyou

[Rori606]

Oh and I see the doctor today, once a week now for baby progress! =)

[Rori606]

Agreed! Although I did think that both were the same disease, and he did tell me pretty early on, I think I am more mad at myself! :P

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I'm sorry to hear that.  You definately need to speak with your ob about this if you havent' already.  Your b/f really should have told you this before you had any sexual contact whatsoever.  

[Rori606]

Ok so apparently I am retarded, my partner has genital warts, not herpes! I thought that they were the same thing, and so I guess that my post is wrong!
Either way, after looking into the disease this seems to have more severe consequences for an unborn baby then herpes does, including possible DEATH!! OMG I feel pretty stupid now to have even put myself at any kind of risk, even if we are "protected" or not there is atill a possibility of contamination! I am so frustrated right now..and angry!!!!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I'ms ending you a personal message.

[Rori606]

Thanks so much everyone! I am glad at such quick responses! I will be seeing my docotr romorrow, and will be informing her of my potential risk! Thank you all for these helpful tips! =)

[LosingMyMindInGA]

BTW I wanted to point out that it is very important that your doctor be aware of your exposure to herpes.  You will need to be monitored and tested prior to delivery.  If for some reason you have contracted it and have an outbreak it can cause problems for the baby including possible blindness.  Talk this over in detail with your OB..

[nickieb85]

I don't think you are foolish... You just need to be extremely careful. I would completely abstain from ANY and ALL sexual activity until you have your daughter because there is no guarantee that you aren't going to catch it... I would also definitely talk to your doctor about what the best ways to avoid contracting herpes from him. I know there is medication that he can take to keep it under wraps and using condoms are the best way to go... All depending on where he is having outbreaks. Good luck!

[JoyRenee]

That is a great question for an OBGYN when you go to see him next! I'm not sure if you can contract it through semen.

[Melka76]

I would wait until the baby is born - it is only a few weeks more and it is not worth the risk/worry it will cause you... don't let the STD deter you from a relationship with him though - but I would wait... I am sure you can google it and find out how it is contracted and more information - good luck.