Your vagina for the most part goes back to normal everyones different but id said it goes back 97 percent out of 100. So pretty much you'll be the same again if you just let yourself heal without rushing into to sex or anything.
How many weeks are you? If you still have time, I would encourage childbirth classes. You can do them online at birthbootcamp.com, or get a doula to help you in labor. Your body is made to do it and you'll do fine!
Im scared for my life to give birth lol my whole life I was told oh ull have a c section becuz I have mild scoliosis well here to find out im giving birth naturally (or w epidural not sure yet)....so my hopes kinda were let down. But after hearing about the recovery time for csections id rather go natural but I know im still going to be a little beotch haha im so afraid to tear and that my vagina wont be the same after :( & I only have 5 weeks left to get over my fear lol
Giving birth was always one of my biggest fears lol. But when I got pregnant I pretty much pushed it to the back of my mind (which I know everyone is different) but I was terrified. Never even been to a hospital for anything besides seeing someone else but you will be okay! It's seems impossible but once it starts you will get through it! :)
Don't be afraid! When I was pregnant with myfirst I'd always look up birth videos out of curiosity after seeing the videos I was soooo terrified and traumatized of what I had seen and btw I was only 15! So I was freaking out. It might look bad but really its not as bad as it looks at all! I'm going on baby number two some people have many babies if birth were so scary people wouldn't do it but we do it every day so its not as bad as it seems and you'll be so glad once you have that baby in your arms and you'd probably do it all again its an amazing feeling ill tell you its painful I won't lie but its bearable! You can do it! :)
I dont know of any mom thats not afraid of birth especially ftms but if ur preggo lol that baby has to come out somehow! Im very sorry about ur aunt but women dying from childbirth is not the norm like it used to be. I wish someone would have told me when I was preggo with my 1st not to listen to anyones horror stories and not to watch any videos! They only stressed me more. DO HOWEVER read up on what happens to ur body during pregnancy and childbirth so u know more of what to expect best of luck hun and do what u need to do to relax