OT Friend Troubles.. What is her problem!?

[mj_mommy_manda]

I know i already posted this on october 08 babies but I always get quicker replies here and more info.. and I know that im not really in the age range for this community but I like the advice you ladies give.

Okay.. So my friend is 15 weeks, I am 21.  So as with every pregnant women, things are really different as opposed to whats happening with me and whats happening with her.  Part of it having to do with the fact that we are 6 weeks apart also.  But I pretty much popped around 13 weeks.. Not like huge, but if I would wear a tight shirt you could tell I was preg.. I was really small before being preg and also have a very short torso so I think thats why I got big so fast.. She is also really skinny but has a really long torso.  So shes 15 weeks and not even showing yet.  I ask her stuff like "do you have a belly yet?" and stuff like that when we text eachother because I just like to keep updated and also I like to update her about my stuff.. and lately alot of exciting things have been happening seeing as how Im getting further and further. So I ask her today if she is getting any bigger and she says "A little but not really" so Im like geez.. I wonder when you are going to pop! lol and then she texts me back and is like "I dont really care. I just hope i stay small" and im like "oh.. well I like my belly now that you can actually tell Im pregnant.." and shes like yeah. and then I was like "The baby got hiccups today.. lol it was so cute" and she was like "how do you know?" so i said "Because it felt different than kicks, like little spasms or bubbles popping." and she just says "Oh" so then we arent talking and im sitting there watching tv and she texts me and shes like "Ian said its not possible for the baby to get hiccups because it cant get air in its stomach through an umbilical cord, it can happen at like 7 months but not before that.. westlin said they learned about it in anat phys and they dont get them till your really far along."  So this just pi**es me off.. Im like wtf.. like why is she acting all jealous and B***hy? so I send her one back and im like "Ok.... Guess I have no idea what Im talking about.. Look it up.. Im not just saying it.. You can clearly tell the difference when you feel it.. why are you trying to argue with me anyway? I know what I felt" and she says nothing back.. because she probably went on the internet and realized I was right..but this isnt the only time she has acted like this.. in fact she does stuff like this ALL THE TIME! Like my babys dad and I are doing really good lately and thinking about moving back in together and I told her about it and all she does is compare it to her situation with her babys dad.. who lives an hour away and she never sees.. Or tells me that it wont work.. or that hes immature.. and then she brings up stuff about herself and expects me to be nice to her about it when she is just a complete B**** whenever I tell her anything?!!? WTH!! why is she being psycho?? Somedays I just want to B**ch her out.. but then she would get all p**sed off at me.. God.. any advice?

[mj_mommy_manda]

Yeah.. I think she is jealous.. but its like.. Rude of her to sit and be all crappy to me whenever I tell her something then try to tell me stuff and expect me to be happy for her.. It just gets on my nerves so much.. because I am really excited and she just blows me off all the time.. but then when something exciting happens with her then she expects me to react with excitment and happiness.. its like no.. if you arent going to be nice to me then why should i care about you.. so i texted her and i was like well i wont be talking about the baby anymore seeing as how everytime i bring it up you get all weird.. and she was like "Its just that I dont really care.. its all you talk about" and i was like "I use it as something to keep a conversation going.. we are in the same boat I thought you would actually care" and shes like "yeah..." and im like but its cool i just wont talk about it to you anymroe.. and shes like "ok.. sorry not trying to be rude.." and i was like "No its cool. I understand." and then today she texts me asking about my ultrasound and baby shower!! its like WTF!!! if you dont want to hear about it dont ask because obviously when people ask or bring it up Im going to say stuff.. and then she sits and rambles on about how shes mad because her babys dad wants to drink instead of hang out with her.. UGH. I dont want to be mean to her but she just makes me so mad sometimes.. but yeah thanks for your advice.. and Joy I know exactly what you mean about always being genuinely excited for others.. Im that way too... I get excited about almost EVERYTHING.. lol so when she found out she was pregnant i was ecstatic because I would have a friend going through the same things and I thought I could talk to her about everything.. I just dont think she cares as much about being pregnant and having a baby as I do, or realizes what a miracle it is.. Because she didnt WANT to get pregnant and for the first month and a half all she talked about was how she didnt want to be pregnant or have a baby.  Whereas even though my baby wasnt exactly "planned" I have been excited since I had my first ultrasound and realized everything was going to be ok this time and this pregnancy is really giving me a shot at somthing I thought I would never have.. So I just want to treasure it and share it with someone who cares.  Maybe I should just keep it between my boyfriend and I because even though talking about baby 24/7 probably annoys him too at least Im letting him know stuff that he actually cares about seeing as how its his baby too.. lol

[JoyRenee]

You're experiencing things that she's not yet and it's probably making her jealous. Add to that the pregnancy hormones and you've got a woman who's probably depressed about her situation. When someone is jealous, they will try to tear other people down to make them feel better.

betty12, I know what you mean. I always feel like I'm genuinely excited for other people but they could care less about my experience. It's best to just avoid those situations. They just make you feel inept.

[betty12]

I would just ignore it!!! it does sound like she s a little jealous of you because your ina  better situation then what she is.and your actully trying to work things out with your ex. My sister and I are both preg she is about 3wks further than iam and everytime i tell her stuff like oh i bought this today she like oh like shes not very exited for me but then when she calls me and tells me she bought something or she felt the baby move im like omg how cute and exited for her so i kinda feel the same way. Also when she found out she was preg i was like omg how cool and at the same time i was sad because me and my husband had been ttc for a while and nothing but i didint let her know i was upset cuz i was so happy for her shes 23 almost 24 and when i found out i was preg she was like omg what are you gonna do your so young did you want a baby and being so rude about it and i was not going to just give my baby up because of her she made me feel like **** and i felt so down for a while. but i knew i was ready. i feel like shes been jealous the whole time becuase shes not the only one preg in our family and not all eyes are on her and also because shes having a girl and im having a boy, and im the first one in my family to have a boy, so i know shes jealous and mean sometimes and i just ignore her when shes being stupid!!! so i say just ignore her and let her be dumb.

[BTS1022]

Sounds to me that she is jealous. I always got jealous of people who were pregnant or something stupid, but I was mature enough not to make it obvious. You also have to understand that she may just be very hormonal at this point, or she doesnt want to experiance *baby stuff* through you since she isn't that far along yet. But then again I could be very wrong if she is acting the same way when you have different conversations with her.

Some people just think they know everything, when in fact they don't know a whole lot. The best advice I can give you is to ignore her behavior, or if you are really sick of it, confront her, maybe she doesnt even know she does what she does.

I have a friend with a simular issue, whenever she has a problem in her life she comes running to me, and whenever something good happens in her life she comes running to me, and I always act like I care even though 9 times out of 10 I dont, but when I run to her about something good or bad she blows me off, or sounds as if im insane for my actions/ways.

All I did was tell her that I felt as if she valued our friendship differently, and if she wanted our friendship she needs to be more supportive of me like I am with her, or if all else fails, keep her mouth shut about stuff I dont care to hear.