SAHM - poll

[LauraB78]

** I HATE MY JOB...  A LITTLE POLL**

I was just wondering how many of you are SAHM's? And if so, are you single or in a relationship, and how do you make ends meet and what do you do for health insurance? Thanks!

[Mumita]

I haven't read what others have said, fyi.  Anyway, you have to be fired or  laid off to get unemployment.  You can qualify for medicaid if you are pregnant but after you deliverr you are cut off unless you have some condition.  Your kid would be covered.  The other thing that you get is WIC and food stamps which is fairly easy to get.
BUT the goverment doesn't help ya out dude.  Welfare as it was known doesn't really exist anymore....
Maybe you can be a custumer service agent for some large company from home...I don't know and I AGREE it suc ks!

[kele1129]

I will be a SAHM kind of..I am currently not working but am a full-time student. DH works full time and has decent insurance so hopefully with his pay and my student loans we will continue to make ends meet.

[martikadragoon]

I'm a SAHM, and married. My hubby works full time and sometimes overtime. My son is special needs (down syndrome) so he qualifies and gets SSI. but we also try to watch our $$ and spending. to help with cost of living we moved into a larger house with my mom brothers and sister. We pay 1/2 everything.

[LauraB78]

I am not a broker... I am just a representative, unfortunately!  =(

[JoyRenee]

Laura, I know a girl who sells insurance from her home and she's a SAHM. If you're already certified, just set it up so you can work from home. Working from home, which I just started, is a challenge. I find I can only work during naptime/bedtime or if the kids are having a calm moment (ha!).

If you want information about how to do insurance from home, let me know so I can ask my friend as I have NO IDEA what it entails. I just know she has a huge work station in her house with a computer and paperwork everywhere.

[JoyRenee]

To answer your poll:

I'm a married SAHM. I just started a home business making and selling some totally original and awesome jewelry but haven't really made an EXTRA income yet (I just keep feeding it back into the store to buy more supplies since I'm just starting out).

My husband is a youth pastor and makes SQUAT. Don't know how we're going to make it in this recession. Going to try to plant a garden for veggies and fruits, start baking bread from scratch, etc.

We have always lived below our means but you couldn't tell to look at us. We have a 3-story historic house (100 yrs old) and we have awesome furniture thanks to my creative abilities (refurbishing, antique stores, thrift stores, etc.).

As LosingMyMind said, though, there's a lot of bitterness and anxiety being a SAHM. It's all fine and dandy to be at home with the little ones but you begin to resent the father for being able to "get away" and get a break while you're house-bound day after day. That's why I started a jewelry business. So I could have something of my OWN.

My health insurance is something my husband's work pays for.

[LauraB78]

Being a SAHM sounds so appealing to me, but like I said before, it's impossible. I am VERY lucky that my unborn son's Father and I are finally to a point where we are civil to each other, and seeing a therapist. I am hoping we can reconcile, but time will tell.. I live on an island where housing is impossible and it is a crisis. I currently live in a 4 bedroom home w. 2 room mates. One of which is my niece. My baby's Father is thinking of moving in w. us to be around 24-7 when our son arrives. He has offered to cover my rent throughout my maternity leave (whether he moves in or not).. Otherwise, I have NO idea how I would have paid bills just while on maternity leave!! I feel like that should be illegal (totally unpaid maternity leave).

In that sense, I am very fortunate.. I have been an emotional wreck lately (hormones!) and while I was washing and folding all Jaxson's clothes last night, I got all emotional. All the 3 month clothing is still so tiny and I just got really upset knowing that is when I will have to head back to work. I have (sh!tty) health insurance, and Jaxson will be added to my plan, so I have no choice... I just wish I had other and better options!

Thanks again for all your input! Quite a "hot" topic!

I have looked into options from home, but have yet to find ANYTHING.. especially anything w/ health insurance.. Uggh!

I am totally not crafty or into selling products.. I have thought about it, but would rather continue doing insurance than those types of businesses... They just arent my thing.. =(

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I was a sahm mom with my when my 2nd and 3rd kids were born.  I enjoyed it.  We were stationed over seas in the military so our housing was paid for and hubby made enough to cover the other bills and of course medical was free.  I would have continued to stay home with my kids however hubby was discharged from the military (medical issues) and it caused a lot of stress on us and we split for awhile...so I had to find a job to support me and the kids.  I found an absolutely awesome job working for a very good family that owns a construction company.  Hubby and I are back together and just had our 4th child.  I only took 4 weeks maternity leave and came back to wrok part time for 2 weeks becuase i was able to bring the baby with me.  I came back full time at 6 weeks.  We could probably manage if i were to stay home, especially since it would cut out the cost of daycare but it would be tight financially.  My other reasons for continuing to work are as follows:
a) when i WAS a SAHM hubby and i argued a lot...he thought that my job was just so easy and taht i didn't contribute as much as he did..(he since feels differently about all that) I just don't want to get into that situation again
b) I love my job, i will never in a million years find another one like it
c) i love my kids but i do need adult interaction.  I have no time to go out and socialize and meet people...i don't have friends that come over...therefore the only adult interaction i get aside from my husband is at work.
d)  i'm not a very structured person, i don't do well with routines and what not...so i feel my kids are better in an environment where things ARE structured and where there is a learning curriculum (2 are in school and 2 go to a learning center not just a daycare).

I loved being a sahm.  I know  alot of women who are/have been.  They do any number of things to make extra money...sell avon or do pampered chef or something like that...some make hairbows or jewelry to sell...others do home daycare ...there ARE some companies that hire phone reps but set them up to do things from their home....there are also websites that hire people and you can work from home.

[babyprayers]

OK I gotta throw in my 2 cents, I am sort of a SAHM I work as an RN but just do every weekend 12 hour shifts, and get paid full pay. It  S ucks giving up every weekend but it allows me to be home all week with my twins, and then my DH who is a teacher is home on the weekends, I get angry because over the summer, I applied for wic after the girls were born. my husband does not get paid over the summer,and I got pulled out of work 6 weeks early, we had money saved, but.. I ended up going back in the hospital after we came home, ( me and babies) I explained to WIC I just needed something for a few weeks till Dh went back to work, I explained our saved income went for additional gas expense, as DH was driving 22 miles to see me in hospital 2 times a day, and the cost of food, we were now a family of 5 etc.. they WOULD NOT help me, stated even though we now had zero income they had to take into consideration my husbands salery for the whole year. WTF!!! I work my A$$ off, I would be better off on welfare, no offense to those who need it, BUT there are some people out there that milk the system.      

[connorethansmom]

Wow, I pretty surprised you went there.  This is a heated topic for most moms.  I have a two year old and a 7 week old.  I don't believe there is a better choice.  I wonder if you are ever truly happy with the choice you make too.  I worked part time when my son was born, then in January went to one day a week, (We worked around each others schedules so he could stay home with us, but we never saw eachother.) and then a few weeks prior to my daughter I quite.  I will not be returning to work.  It is a struggle as my husband doesn't have a really high paying job and our family would never help in anyway.  

Kiplingers published an article and survey about can you afford to stay home.  It was great!  For us it was a choice to pay off bills and start living within one paycheck that made it possible for me to stay home.  That is tough!!!!

For those of you staying home or thinking about it, suggest you read "The Stay at Home Survival Guide"  you can google it.  The author has a pretty neat website too.

Good luck with what ever decision you make.  The best advice I ever got was make a decision and go with it 100% even if you have doubts - you'll be happy you did.  

[abbysmommy4]

I was a single mom for years and it was not easy.  I had to work but was blessed to have my mom as my babysitter.  But, since getting married and having my dd I have pretty much been a SAHM.  It's not easy financially.  We struggle and due to the lack of work here in FL, or should I say union work for my DH he ends up on the road to work.  Right now he has been out of town for 3 months now.  I am home with the 3 kiddos and 32 weeks preggo.  I am scared he's not gonna make it home for the birth.  But in order to have health insurance for the family this is what we have to do for now.  We so called middle class do get the short end of the stick.  We make too much to qualify for any type of help, yet live pay check to pay check.  It surely S U C K S!!!!

[ashiepooh]

LauraB78 -  Maybe ask for a raise, and complain a bit.  I wish there was something I could offer to help.  Hang in there though!

[jenntanis]

Well, I don't have kids yet (unless you count my dog and DH), but I currently have the ability to work from home 5 days a week.  My DH and I make about the same, and because I'm a RN case manager for an insurance company, I have very good benefits.  When we do have children, I will have to put them into daycare or have to get a nanny because I'm not allowed to have outside noises while I'm working (I call patients all day).  My mom was a SAHM when I was young and I would love to be able to do it, but I don't think I will be able to.  There are lots of ways to be a nurse and work weekends only, but I can't work in the hospital anymore because I cannot lift, so I'm stuck.

[LauraB78]

I work in insurance.. (WHAT AN IRONIC JOKE, HUH?!)

I do workers comp and general liability and work for a small agency...

Being a SAHM is totally a pipe dream for me too, but I wanted to see what everyone else's situation is and how we all make it work!! =)

GREAT input ladies! Thanks so much!

[kjbutcher]

I work from home so I have the best of both worlds.  I would never be able to be a sahm with no income.  Currently I have a daycare but on 11/15 (hopefully) I will be working for state farm from home selling insurance again.  i will have to do some marketing at apartment complexes but I can take DS with me.  DH carries the insurance, but state farm also has an insurance plan should I suddenly become single.

[alaysha]

I'm single and a SAHM. I get grants and scholarships for school which total to about 22000+ a year so I go to school for about 2-3 hours a day and then get to be with Aspen the rest of the time and my housing is covered through the scholarships (nice little 3 bedroom). For insurance and dental I'm on medicare but I do the paid medicare where I pay a small premium.

[leighanne143]

i think i will still have to work once the baby is born due to both my fiance and i surviving from both of our pay checks.  i would love to open a day care though.

i agree that we middle class just struggle to make it get shafted.  that is why we need some changes in politics somehow to help us.  there is so much help for the low income and the wealthy.

[casandbaby]

I am very fortunate to be a stay at home mom, especially the way the economy is turning. DH works full time an average of six days a week about 14 hours most of the time. He gets insurance, dental and vision through his job! I wouldn't say we are well off but we arn't struggling. It ***** that not everyone can be a SAHM. I am very lucky and appreciative that my hubby doesn't want me to work.

it ***** that you don't have the option and it seems your stuck in a bind whatever you choose. i'm sure we can help you come up with a solution and help you figure this out =]

[ashiepooh]

LauraB78 ~ I would contemplate it.  I mean your going to have unpaid maternity leave?  How will you afford anything?  

For me, I guice besides to think about your options and what other jobs would be available.  For me I don't have to pay full daycare when I go back to work because my work has a daycare in it, and they pay half of it.  But part of that is for them to get me to work more hours which is no problem for me.  Part of those big government corporations.  

Make out a list of pros and cons I guess.  Really think about it.  Maybe stay with your job now, and when you go back to work really start looking for another job!  I would think that maybe dshs would help while your out on leave with no pay!  I could be wrong, but maybe check with it?  I know my friend quit her job, she has two kids 2 and under, and went to dshs got on medical, applied for food stamps and got into this program where they help you find a job!  And they give you money while your looking for the job!  Maybe check into that.  

[leetlebeanweasle]

I work now and might get a part time job after this little guy is a little older (3 or 4 months). I will stop working at the end of this month (Oct. 31st is officially my last day)
We are TRYING to sell our house so that I can be a SAHM totally but so far..nothing. The market stinks. The Mr. might figure out a way for me to stay home with little bean but its not going to be easy. (he just opened his own business a few months ago..so its just getting started)
We will also have to start paying for insurance (which I now have through my work..my boss has just paid it no questions asked and will continue through the end of December..but after that we are on our own.-I totally appreciate him paying through Dec. such a great boss!-)

Anyway long story short I will definitely be a SAHM for about 3 or 4 months then after that who knows.

[kikicoates78]

Well I am a nurse and I do love it, BUT I did just cut my hours back to 2 days a week and I won't work over an eight hour shift, I have a history of pre-term and we are not taking the chance. I am VERY fortunate to have such a supportive husband, and he is all for me staying home after the baby. The problem I face is I have 16 patients all with mental handicaps, and I love them all. They are already sad that I cut my days back. I am their family in their eyes. Some of them have no one, and the ones that do have family Well ... I wouldn't call that family. So the staff is all they have. I returned to school to get my BSN, which I have already said I still wouldn't leave my job, So after baby IDK maybe I will stay on one day a week, they love my nursing groups( really we just do crafts!) So I might just do that for a couple of hours a week, IDK. I am also wondering too how much the short pockets will effect me, I'm a BIG spender to say the least :(

[sweetangel7]

I never thought about being a sahm...until I became pregnant and it is very attractive to me HOWEVER it is a total pipe dream so I don't think about it too often!  I make more than dh and I carry the health insurance.  Unfortunately we have a fair amount of bills which we are trying to pay off and student loans and a mortgage and all the taxes and insurances that come with that.  Although I gripe about money, we have two cars that are paid off, a Harley, a nice home, luxeries like a plasma flat screen tv, money for extras (going out to eat 2x week...clothes, dvds, whatever).  I have to remind myself that things could be much worse and I am truly grateful for what we have.  It is soo easy to get caught up with the Jones.

[ashiepooh]

Laura - what do you do for a job?  

[gokuangel]

Laura-I will try not to take offense to that sometimes i do but i wont this time. My DH just decided he did not want me to be working! I have offered several times but he always no dont worry about things i will do it myself.  I am not sure if its just his nature since hes hispanic and most hispanics believe the wife should be at home or it could also be we went through alot of problems in the beginning of our relationship (long story not going into details) and he decided that me being at home was best for us. Either way around it its what we have decided to do and what is working for us! I have no reason to complain either the first time i was married i worked and worked and i busted my A$$ needless to say and i never had anything EVER! I never owned anything and at the end not even a bed did i have and i supported my X!! I am not a student either i graduated business school in 2004 though.