lost please help

[stacy082012]

I have just recently discovered that I am pregnant. I waited a few days to tell my boyfriend. Lately we have discussed getting married and have always planned on spending our lives together and having children. Well then surprise we get pregnant which was not part of the plan...at least not yet. When I told him the news this past Friday he told me everything I wanted to hear such as that he would be there for me and everything would be okay. Well now his tone has changed to "he doesn't know if we are going to make it". This has come out of nowhere and I am so lost and sad. I feel alone in this but I love this baby already. Any advice would be appreciated but it seems he is trying to leave me now that we are having a child. :(
Not sure what to do.

[Socalledchaos119]

I left him alone about a week. I went to my next apt without him (obviously) but it was a scan apt I think I was 9 or 10 weeks.  I ended up calling him to tell him how it went (figured it was still his baby too) he was happy to hear from me and asked me to email a copy of the sono pic. Then we just started talking back n fourth over the computer and working out our problems and concerns.  It took sometime a mnth before he came home, but absence did make the heart grow fonder.  I expressed what I would need from him and how I could also better support him as well.  I really did love him and he really did love me.  We needed to learn how to work together not pull apart when things got crazy.  (it was mainly his issues, but we both had work to do if we wanted it to work.). I'm actually happy it worked out that way now, because we figure out if we would work before the baby came.  We know we will make it because we worked everything out then.  We have been through so much we would have kept it quits if we weren't ready to do the work to be comitted and the best we can for the baby.  And while he was gone...I was very sad.  I slept a lot and had my friend over for company and support.  I just tried to pray and relax as much as I could for the baby.  Stress is not good.  It was a hard time in my life, but it all came together in the end, and for the better! :) <3

[Morrisfamily2012]

It was hard getting through it, but space from each other helps a lot. I know so many couples that go through this. For me I was so hurt that he wasn't as excited as I was when we found out. He still isn't, but he is getting there. They just don't understand us and the joy we have for the life that's growing inside of us.

[stacy082012]

Well your story sounds familiar lol. My boyfriend just moved in with me in the end of October and I found out I was pregnant the end of November. I pray he comes around. How did you get through the time he was gone. Did you just leave him alone and give him the space?

[Socalledchaos119]

I had this happen to me!  I'm 29 and my man is 44.  We had been talking marriage and babies in the future back in Feb. We moved from ct back to ms where my family is from in march, then started to get settled in a new apartment then we foundout we where pregnant in April.  He told me like yours did that he was excited and would be there for me and all that jazz.  Well even at his age he got freaked out and we started having problems.  He went so nuts that in June I went to stay with my mom a few days (sound familiar? Haha) and in the mean time he went as far as to move back to ct.  With the time apart he came back around and relised he had made a terrible mistake.  He missed me and he ended up coming back home in July.  He was so happy to be home, he started coming to all my Ob appointments with me, and in august I was surprised with an engagement ring.  We have doing so well, things are going great.  We are due January 13th the day before his birthday.  He is so involved and I couldn't ask for more.  I think like morrisfamily2012 said they don't know what to do and they kinda freak out in the beginning.  Not every man, but it's quite common.  They say they are ready, but then reality hits and sometimes they need a min.  I really hope this is the situation for you as well.  I shall be praying you, him, and baby...but remember everything happens for a reason.  I think we are much stronger as a couple now then we were before.

[stacy082012]

Thank you. You are so right with what you said I appreciate the time you took to type that :) I will be patient. I'm 5 weeks so all I have is time.

[agrell]

Honey i know its hard to hear but there is anything you really can do...either he is gonna be there or not...and sometimes for a guy it takes more time because they dont have that feeling of having a little person growing inside them...knowing that every choice they make effects a new life...so maybe he just needs a little time...just like some women need time to decide on what they wanna do...maybe take some time apart...go stay with a friend or something...if he truely loves you he will be there for you and if not well than you have a new precious little one that will give you all the love you need...i hope everything works out for  you...best wishes :)

[stacy082012]

I hope my situation has the same outcome. Thanks for the hope.

[Morrisfamily2012]

My bf and I just went through this. I think they don't know how to react when our hormones start changing. I went to my moms for 2 days and came back home and worked everything out with my bf. We are happy and working on the little things that drive each other absolutly crazy.