Aa
Anal and my marriage
Ok never done any of these forum type things before but here goes.
My husband has an obsession with anal sex(in my opinion). He loves it and he asks for it all the time(even after we have just done it). We've been together for 5 years and I can't stand anal. I give it too him because it seems so important to him and he gets it maybe once a month. I hate it. I hate the thought of it, i think it is absolutely disgusting and nasty and there is no reason at all for it. I don't get any pleasure out of it, it freakin hurts and i don't want to have anything to do with it. Just the thought of it gets me upset.
He thinks sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship, and starts to feel very unloved if he goes without it for even a week. I on the other hand do not think sex is that important. I think communication/trust/honesty are the most important parts of any relationship.
I've tried to explain how i feel about anal to him multiple times, but he seems to think the only reason i don't want to do it is that it hurts, and he goes on and on about how "it can't hurt that bad" and that if i'd relax and try forplay i would learn to like it. i don't know how else to explain it to him. I do not want to even try to learn to like it the thought of it makes me sick!! and i've tried over and over to explain that to him but he just seems to focus on the hurting part and wants to try and i guess warm me up first. I'm not saying people shouldn't have anal sex, i'm not saying that in time i could have it and it be less painful. the plain and simple truth is I have no desire to have it, no desire to talk about it no desire to have anything to do with it. it just makes me feel uncomfortable and sometimes i feel like i'm being guilted into doing it because i love him and he loves anal so much.
i just don't understand the fascination with sticking your penis in a place that **** resides in, it's gross lol I just feel like this one thing is going to ruin my marriage because we'll never be able to agree and i don't know how to even begin to compromise when the one time a month is pure hell for me as it is and he wants it even more.
i guess this post is more of a vent than anything lol I don't know what to do in this situation. if i could learn to love it i would try but it's not really about the act itself, my problem is about the way the act makes me feel adn that I do not at all approve of anal sex in the slightest. i can't seem to get my hubby to understand, and i can't seem to understand why he is fixated with it. I just have no idea anymore.
What the heck am I supposed to do? Will this issue ever be resolved????
Any advice would be very very appreciated.
My husband has an obsession with anal sex(in my opinion). He loves it and he asks for it all the time(even after we have just done it). We've been together for 5 years and I can't stand anal. I give it too him because it seems so important to him and he gets it maybe once a month. I hate it. I hate the thought of it, i think it is absolutely disgusting and nasty and there is no reason at all for it. I don't get any pleasure out of it, it freakin hurts and i don't want to have anything to do with it. Just the thought of it gets me upset.
He thinks sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship, and starts to feel very unloved if he goes without it for even a week. I on the other hand do not think sex is that important. I think communication/trust/honesty are the most important parts of any relationship.
I've tried to explain how i feel about anal to him multiple times, but he seems to think the only reason i don't want to do it is that it hurts, and he goes on and on about how "it can't hurt that bad" and that if i'd relax and try forplay i would learn to like it. i don't know how else to explain it to him. I do not want to even try to learn to like it the thought of it makes me sick!! and i've tried over and over to explain that to him but he just seems to focus on the hurting part and wants to try and i guess warm me up first. I'm not saying people shouldn't have anal sex, i'm not saying that in time i could have it and it be less painful. the plain and simple truth is I have no desire to have it, no desire to talk about it no desire to have anything to do with it. it just makes me feel uncomfortable and sometimes i feel like i'm being guilted into doing it because i love him and he loves anal so much.
i just don't understand the fascination with sticking your penis in a place that **** resides in, it's gross lol I just feel like this one thing is going to ruin my marriage because we'll never be able to agree and i don't know how to even begin to compromise when the one time a month is pure hell for me as it is and he wants it even more.
i guess this post is more of a vent than anything lol I don't know what to do in this situation. if i could learn to love it i would try but it's not really about the act itself, my problem is about the way the act makes me feel adn that I do not at all approve of anal sex in the slightest. i can't seem to get my hubby to understand, and i can't seem to understand why he is fixated with it. I just have no idea anymore.
What the heck am I supposed to do? Will this issue ever be resolved????
Any advice would be very very appreciated.
Hello Dixie
Maybe you haven't had any trauma in your anus because you perfer it over vaginal sex. So glad that you enjoy your sex life. All couples should enjoy their sex life, and it is clear the poster and her husband are on two different levels when it comes to their sex life. He should NOT badger her to have anal, it is WRONG to make her feel bad about it. You know what? No matter how a man approaches it, anal always hurts.. why? Because our anuses are not elastic like our vaginas are. You know, I don't know about anyone else but I feel like you went overkill telling women that they should try to relax their muscles in their anuses and "if you tried it, you'd like it" ok. I don't care that you can't have an orgasm having vaginal sex. Have some class. Keep the details of your bedroom romps to yourself. The poster wasn't seeking advice from women who prefer anal sex. She said she didn't like it and how it made her feel..
To the poster-
I realize this post is older. I hope all is well. You should NEVER feel obligated to do ANYTHING that makes you feel bad or causes you pain or harm.
DM
Maybe you haven't had any trauma in your anus because you perfer it over vaginal sex. So glad that you enjoy your sex life. All couples should enjoy their sex life, and it is clear the poster and her husband are on two different levels when it comes to their sex life. He should NOT badger her to have anal, it is WRONG to make her feel bad about it. You know what? No matter how a man approaches it, anal always hurts.. why? Because our anuses are not elastic like our vaginas are. You know, I don't know about anyone else but I feel like you went overkill telling women that they should try to relax their muscles in their anuses and "if you tried it, you'd like it" ok. I don't care that you can't have an orgasm having vaginal sex. Have some class. Keep the details of your bedroom romps to yourself. The poster wasn't seeking advice from women who prefer anal sex. She said she didn't like it and how it made her feel..
To the poster-
I realize this post is older. I hope all is well. You should NEVER feel obligated to do ANYTHING that makes you feel bad or causes you pain or harm.
DM
why do most people assume because a guy who likes anal sex is gay? they are the one who is performaning the anal sex not receiving it.
not so my bf is large and i have never went to the hospital with trauma or bleeding!
the penis was not made to be put into the mouth either. only food drinks and medicine was but people still do that. anus is for the expusion of our waste, well our mouth is for the intake of our food that processes for the expusion.
i agree with you if you don't enjoy it then you shouldn't have to do it. did he try to or start having anal with you before you guys got married? i myself enjoy anal sex but i will tell you that if it is something that hurts me and i don't enjoy it then i am not goin to do it. if your relationship has to be based on you having anal sex with your husband then that is a relationship that you don't need to be in.
i have to tell you from experience if it is hurting you during anal sex then you have someone who don't know what they are doing or just don't care about you. my boyfriend and i have anal sex on a regular basis and i love it as much as he does. you have to learn to relax them muscles so you can enjoy. myself it is hard for me to have a vaganal orgasm but when we have anal sex it is no time and i am having an orgasm and it is so intense my whole body shakes. if he would take his time do it right and not hurt you i believe you would enjoy having it as much as he does. the other question why he enjoys anal sex so much as like other men it is because the thought of their penis being there and the thought of it being so nasty is what makes them want it that much more. anal sex isn't for everyone but i do have to say when you have a caring and loving partner it is a wonderful thing.
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