What should I Do ?

[medhelp14]

I’m in the position to asking anyone with similar experience to help me out. I was dating this girl for about 3 yrs. She was nice girl and from a nice family. She was honest from the beginning, she has this think called Lupus, and yes we talked about marriage and having kids. She was like to have a kid; we have to plan ahead of time, because of the medication she takes.

Well I really didn’t’ care about all that above.  My problem is I’m not sure if she’s the one. When I showed the picture to my mom, soon as she saw the picture, she was like please don’t fall for her, she didn’t think for one second to say that about her soon as she saw the picture. The sad part is I didn’t even defend her. I’m really confused to what to do now. May be I didn’t like her that match after all.

My girl always asked me when we going to get married, or when I’m going to get engaged. I didn’t know what to answer that, I always put that question off may be when I finish school.

I just want to tell the reader’s that I’m really a nice guy, some time I feel like braking up but my guilt feeling don’t let me, something inside me telling she is not the one, on the other hand I hate to break her feelings.

What should I do ??/

[jo929]

If you have doubts, then break it off now before she becomes to attached to you it will be much kinder now than later you need to concentrate on your education for now  luck  jo

[peggy64]

well, which one are you leaning towards?

[medhelp14]

Thank you for all your effort and trying to help someone that you don't even know. Honestly I feel much better now, but don't hesitate to write more.  Your honest opinions will help me make the right decision.

[Judy246]

You have been with her for 3 yrs. and now she has Lupus. Lupus is a desease that attacks the immune system and it's treatable, yet can be fatal. There is no cure if I am mistaken, so my question to you is, "do you no longer want to be with her because of this desease? If the answer is yes, it's cruel, if your answer is no, you just don't think she's the one, yet you were with her for 3 years and within 3 yrs. you know if she is or is not the one.

If you are no longer in love with her, it's very important to be honest and sit down with her and tell her, that although you love her, you are no "in" love with her and need to move forward with your life. Tell her you are there for her and will support her, but that you need space to decide what you want to do with your life. It will hurt, she will probably cry, she will probably go into depression and blame her illness, so it's very important that you reassure her that you will support her and be there for her, but that you can only offer honest friendship. The sooner the better.

Also, if you no longer want to be with her, because of her desease, remember that we are all human and one day you will suffer from ailments and when you do, remember her.  Judy

[teko]

If she was the one, you would not be asking the question. I do disagree about Mom, I think they no more than we think. She is not the one, move on. Or you would have no doubts no matter who said what.

[jojo24]

I think it really doesn't matter what your mom thinks, it's about what you think.  If you don't think she's the one, then she's probably not.  If you feel like you want to end things with her and maybe you don't love her anymore, let her go.  She will initially be hurt, but at least she will know the truth and she will eventually find someone who will love her the way she needs to be loved.  Don't stay with her because you feel guilty.  No woman wants that.  Just be honest with her about your feelings.  She'll eventually understand.  Just don't lead her on anymore.  I don't doubt that you are a good guy, so continue to be that good guy and don't let her think there's more to your relationship than there really is.
Jojo

[mami1323]

What was it about the girl physically that your mom didn't like?  It shouldn't matter what your mom thinks, apparently you don't want to be with her if you didn't defend her or if you even feel like breaking up with her.  Do this girl a favor and end this relationship.  She deserves someone in her life that truly wants to be there.  You will hurt her, that is unavoidable but you will hurt her even more if you stay with her out of pity.