Aa
Claiming she is pregnant, is she lying? what do I do?
OK, here goes..
I am a 22 year old male. About 2 months ago I met up with a 17 year old girl I met online. We had sex on the first date. I didnt use a condom, but pulled out. I was aware she was not on any birth control.
After we had sex, she went weird, trying to make me tell her what I thought of her and what my impressions of her were (on a 1st date!). Looking back, I think she was a bit attached before we had even met. When I wouldnt answer (just cos I thought it was an odd thing to be talking about) she ignored me for about half an hour refusing to tell me what the problem was. I didnt want a 2nd date. I even had to turn her down for more sex. She wasnt happy at all, saying I was rude and everything, but we did eventually agree to be mates.
About a week later she tells me online that she has something to tell me and I wont like it. After causing some drama with me repeatedly saying u might as well tell me now, she says she was a week late. I told her to get tested. I read about it online for her and found that the best time to take a pregnancy test was after 10 days. On that day she text me telling me shes pregnant.
At first I believed her. I for one cannot understand what anyone could possibly gain from lying about this, but apparantly some women do it. Little did I know a girl has actually done it to my brother before (lied about it)! Anyway, when I found out it messed with my head a little and I was straight off to go get a bottle of vodka which had me pretty drunk that night. Silly of me I know, but she rang and I talked to her about it that night (still drunk). Eventually she decides she has to keep it.
Thing is, she is doing some very odd things and I have no idea weather its hormones doing it or a cover up. I've never understood women that well in general. Anyway, here is what doesnt quite add up:
1) We live in different towns. I've arranged to meet up with her 3 times now. Each time she has turned her phone off on the day and stood me up. Its the same routine. 2-3 days later I'll get some text about something else like this just never happened. I tell her off about it, then she has clever ways of twisting it round like, 'are you going to hold this against me forever?' I didnt know how to answer that one - it just wasnt the point at all. This is odd because you would think if she really was pregnant, she would be desperate to have me involved somehow. Right? I've offered to be there and everything, this is why I thought it was a good idea to meet up and discuss things. She seemed to think so too until the days to meet came. It almost seems like she is just buying time..One of the times she was even on the internet about an hour and a half after we were supposed to meet. Its very unlikely she could have got back home in that time, therefore unlikely she had come down at all like she claimed she did.
2) She has already had 2 early scans. I dont really understand how pregnancy is counted, but one was 5 weeks after we had sex (4 weeks since her missed period) and her 2nd was 2 weeks later. This doesnt seem right at all. I know they can do one scan if there are any problems, but she hasnt told me of any. I text her about 5 hours ago asking if there were any problems with either of the scans and shes just ignored that. I should mention that she has already had 1 miscarriage before. She said something about there being a problem with the thyroid gland, it miscarried and messed up one of her ovaries. Could this have something to do with it?
Anyway, there is more to this whole crazy situation and I'm sure I'll think of it as the discussion goes. just for the record, I want to do the right thing here. If she has this baby there is no way I'm leaving it without a father. The problem I have now is how do I go about finding out weather she is lying or not? If she isnt how do I go about getting on good terms with her when she is constantly looking for drama out of nothing (very unbalanced girl - she even cuts herself and claims its not a problem cos it makes her feel good)?
I just really want to do whats right here. Any help much appreciated..
I am a 22 year old male. About 2 months ago I met up with a 17 year old girl I met online. We had sex on the first date. I didnt use a condom, but pulled out. I was aware she was not on any birth control.
After we had sex, she went weird, trying to make me tell her what I thought of her and what my impressions of her were (on a 1st date!). Looking back, I think she was a bit attached before we had even met. When I wouldnt answer (just cos I thought it was an odd thing to be talking about) she ignored me for about half an hour refusing to tell me what the problem was. I didnt want a 2nd date. I even had to turn her down for more sex. She wasnt happy at all, saying I was rude and everything, but we did eventually agree to be mates.
About a week later she tells me online that she has something to tell me and I wont like it. After causing some drama with me repeatedly saying u might as well tell me now, she says she was a week late. I told her to get tested. I read about it online for her and found that the best time to take a pregnancy test was after 10 days. On that day she text me telling me shes pregnant.
At first I believed her. I for one cannot understand what anyone could possibly gain from lying about this, but apparantly some women do it. Little did I know a girl has actually done it to my brother before (lied about it)! Anyway, when I found out it messed with my head a little and I was straight off to go get a bottle of vodka which had me pretty drunk that night. Silly of me I know, but she rang and I talked to her about it that night (still drunk). Eventually she decides she has to keep it.
Thing is, she is doing some very odd things and I have no idea weather its hormones doing it or a cover up. I've never understood women that well in general. Anyway, here is what doesnt quite add up:
1) We live in different towns. I've arranged to meet up with her 3 times now. Each time she has turned her phone off on the day and stood me up. Its the same routine. 2-3 days later I'll get some text about something else like this just never happened. I tell her off about it, then she has clever ways of twisting it round like, 'are you going to hold this against me forever?' I didnt know how to answer that one - it just wasnt the point at all. This is odd because you would think if she really was pregnant, she would be desperate to have me involved somehow. Right? I've offered to be there and everything, this is why I thought it was a good idea to meet up and discuss things. She seemed to think so too until the days to meet came. It almost seems like she is just buying time..One of the times she was even on the internet about an hour and a half after we were supposed to meet. Its very unlikely she could have got back home in that time, therefore unlikely she had come down at all like she claimed she did.
2) She has already had 2 early scans. I dont really understand how pregnancy is counted, but one was 5 weeks after we had sex (4 weeks since her missed period) and her 2nd was 2 weeks later. This doesnt seem right at all. I know they can do one scan if there are any problems, but she hasnt told me of any. I text her about 5 hours ago asking if there were any problems with either of the scans and shes just ignored that. I should mention that she has already had 1 miscarriage before. She said something about there being a problem with the thyroid gland, it miscarried and messed up one of her ovaries. Could this have something to do with it?
Anyway, there is more to this whole crazy situation and I'm sure I'll think of it as the discussion goes. just for the record, I want to do the right thing here. If she has this baby there is no way I'm leaving it without a father. The problem I have now is how do I go about finding out weather she is lying or not? If she isnt how do I go about getting on good terms with her when she is constantly looking for drama out of nothing (very unbalanced girl - she even cuts herself and claims its not a problem cos it makes her feel good)?
I just really want to do whats right here. Any help much appreciated..
I wanted to thank you for stepping up and being a man and for welcoming harsh critizism with class and accepting good advise. We are a very good group, but we are also very honest as we see it. It shows your a good person, classy (human like the rest of us who have made mistakes) and of good character.
No, god I'm so far past the point of wanting a relationship with her. Ever. But, yea I knew somehow that saving her texts would be useful with the stuff she comes out with.
Anyways, I think I am going to lie low on this for a while. I text her like 2 days ago asking if there was a problem with either scan with no reply (bearing in mind if I take an hour to reply she gets pizzed off that I'm ignoring her). I have no idea what game she is playing at the moment, but I'm thinking I'll ignore her until she says something rather than buy into it and go chase her.
Anyways, I think I am going to lie low on this for a while. I text her like 2 days ago asking if there was a problem with either scan with no reply (bearing in mind if I take an hour to reply she gets pizzed off that I'm ignoring her). I have no idea what game she is playing at the moment, but I'm thinking I'll ignore her until she says something rather than buy into it and go chase her.
If she does try and cut you off from the child(if it's yours and if she's not lying), i would definitely save all of those text messages and any other messages from her that could help you in the end. They would at least show that she is not mature enough to handle a child and could help you get custody over her, especially if you have texts about her cutting herself(that's really bad while pregnant especially). I would save all of those just encase, because she sounds completely immature and completely irrational to me too and that's a bad combination in the mother of your child(supposed i should say)
And just try to be as nice as possible to her, and try to help her in any way you can, but do not try and have a relationship with her, you don't want to have any more drama right now lol
And just try to be as nice as possible to her, and try to help her in any way you can, but do not try and have a relationship with her, you don't want to have any more drama right now lol
definitely save what texts she has sent you. so if she does say something you can always show them to her parents (if you do end up finding them) and/or the authorities.
Judy - Thanks for the warning. She is the most irrational person I've ever had to deal with so wouldn't put it past her. Even more reason to keep on her good side I guess. Though I think anyone would find that hard to believe. I've still got various texts from her on my phone about it, 1 even saying she wouldnt mind meeting up and having sex again. I don't know how much that could go towards proving I didn't rape her, but its gotta be worth something.
As for being a woman who is prepared to use her children as leverage against the father - she has kind of already done this. She threatened to cut me off completely basically because I called her on her games. I'm finding it hard to get over just how selfish that is (whatever the reason we argued) - denying a child a father because you have a personal problem with someone. Thats messed up.
As for being a woman who is prepared to use her children as leverage against the father - she has kind of already done this. She threatened to cut me off completely basically because I called her on her games. I'm finding it hard to get over just how selfish that is (whatever the reason we argued) - denying a child a father because you have a personal problem with someone. Thats messed up.
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