I am sorry that you feel sad on your ten year anniversary day.
How was in the dating stage or the first years of your marriage? Did he made an effort to do something for your birthdays, valentines day, or anniversaries?
If he did it before and doesn't do it now, than something changed and you need to seat down and talk to your husband about it. Let him know how it makes you feel when he acts like he doesn't care enough. If he never did this, then you knew that he is not the romantic type from the beginning;some man just aren't that way.
Does he show you ever that he is appreciating you? Maybe in his own way, but something that you would know that he loves you? How is he expressing his emotions?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm especially sorry you are feeling this way on your anniversary! So, he forgot your anniversary?? Ugh. That stings.
Ya know, my husband is the type who 'might' forget something like that so I start mentioning it ahead of time.
I'd give your husband a card and a hug. He will probably feel like poop at that moment.
And then after today you can maybe have a heart to heart about how to be closer. Tell him you want to be closer to him and for the both of you to be happy. Not in an accusatory way that says he's doing something wrong but more in a way that you two are a team and in this together.
would he consider marriage counseling?
When we first got married he was extremely loving, gave me his full attention. He isn't the romantic type, although I wish he was. But he did remember birthdays and not so much other occasions. And I feel he is becoming less interested in these things now. This time I didn't hint to him our anniversary is coming, he did. (Which surprised me) and he was shocked when he said ten years (in a good way!)
Maybe the stress of school and work afterwards is getting to him. But I always give him his space, and keep the kids away from him so he can catch up with school work. He has two more months left and I really love to see him succeed.
Maybe I'm not making any sense because a life story is hard to tell, at least here.
I don't think I'll be able to give him a card and a hug, I'm an extremely emotional person. I will tear before handing him the card.
I'm such an emotional wreck! My moods go from low to high, and I think it's getting to him as well as me.
I'll see what happens the rest of the day. But I need to stop thinking too much into it. I'll cook something he likes and buy a cake and surprise him.
I would like to try marriage counseling but I doubt he will.
I'm really not sure if I made any sense, but thanks for listening and the advices!
farO, my husband and I have a tradition of planning something together for our anniversaries, Christmas, Birthdays, etc. That way there's no surprise element and no disappointment. Some time before the event, I say so what should we do to celebrate our anniversary? And we think of things, and the whole planning process is fun and then the doing it is fun too. No negatives at all, no failed expectations, etc.
This year we went to a Bed and Breakfast and hiked the next day. Great time.
I do that for mother's day too - I tell my kids what I want. This year I wanted my youngest to register for summer classes without complaining and without making me do it all for him. ;D It was great.
I think surprise gifts are overrated. Half the fun is in the planning!
There's still time to resurrect this, even today, farO. You could send him a quick text that says what do you feel like for dinner today - it's our 10th! Your wish is my command, the law is the limit. ;D He'll get in to it.
I was so wrong about him and a little embarrassed I said that about him...He did remember and it went perfectly! Thanks for your advices!
i am bad about remembering dates. I used to remember the date of the divorce, but not the day or even month we were married. It was either june or july.
sounds like you really love each other and people do get too comfortable and lazy in relationships, I am happy for you that he did remember after all. sometimes expectations get us down.
Happy 10th anniversary