please help.

[sweetpea03]

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and love him dearly. He's an amazing guy. Though problems come into play with his age. I'm 20 and he just turned 31. I've just about heard every negative comment under the sun about me being with him. People have called him a *********, said he's only in it for the sex, etc. People have said I only want to be in it for power or status. It gets pretty old after a while, hearing all of these comments. I was want to know good come backs to the comments, and not just saying bug off or it's none of your business, cuz that makes it look like I take it very personally. Any suggestions?? thanks!

[sweetpea03]

thanks. I never cared about it before, but for some reason got bugged about it in the last couple days. I think I'll blame it on hormones. haha.

[specialmom]

Honestly, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt on this stuff.  Many many people make comments without realizing they are hitting a sore spot.  (and lets face it, it is obviously a sore spot with you or it wouldn't bug you so much.)  Just be yourself and don't worry about it.  It should go away.  Couple of my husbands married women over 10 years younger with them.  Those women are over 10 years younger than me . . . but who cares.  They are my pals and the older you get the less that matters.  So think about why it is bothering you so much and make sure it is okay with YOU as other people don't matter.  Well intentioned friends have hurt my feelings before when I'm sensative to a subject. good luck

[mami1323]

If they were real friends they would not make comments but if you were secure in your relationship, you would not care what they say.

[sweetpea03]

People saying these comments are mutual "friends", oddly enough from a "Christian" club on the university campus we go to. There is no big difference other than age, that's it. He looks like he is about 27, though he is 31. And people tend to think I am older than I am. I know one of the guys who said a comment had previously liked me, so we had blamed it on jealously. I ignore the best I can, but subconsciously it bothers me. I had the worst headache yesterday after more comments from a "friend". I feel like separating myself from that group to avoid these people, but my bf still is one of the officers of the group, so he wants to stay til the year is over.

[jo929]

If you feel you are a grown woman why make any comment at all ignore them

[mami1323]

I agree, why bother wasting your energy.  You know what your relationship is about so why let it effect you?  Just walk away or say nothing or what was written above.  

[specialmom]

I would agree.  Your happiness is your best comeback.  Some people are trying to help but don't realize they are intruding.  Just let it roll off your back and be happy.  If the relationship endures and is a good one, it will prove them wrong.  good luck

[mamabalas]

I wouldn't say anything back to these people.  Kill them with kindness and say, "Thank you for your genuine consern for my emotional well being."    Your relationship is your business.  I can't imagine saying that to someone.  Are these people saying things to you doing so out of consern as friends?  Or are these people that he is associated with?  Is he married or is there some other big difference for the two of you?  Do you look very young, or does he look very old?  This is only 10 years.  You two shouldn't look drastically different. Often people don't realize an age difference of 10 years unless it is clearly pointed out by one of the parties or if there is some other sort of "drama" going on that people are attracted to talking about.