Death !!!

[vivi2013]

i feel its the only way i will stop hurting .. i dont know what else to do other than feel miserable and cry over and over .. he wont listen to my feelings , he sits there like nothing is going on ! i have no were to go , i applied to so many jobs and nothing, shelters are all occupied ! my life is so miserable that i feel like death is my way out of so much misery .. i told him in order to move on be needs to let go of some stuff and he wont care and says whatever go seek help u r crazy   and told him to leave but he wont do it , how do i ignore someone ? how do i stop loving them ?

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I just wanted to say that this is an old post and the original poster has not been back.  We'd love to support you here at the forum.  You will get more responses if you begin your own thread.  You can do this by going to the top and hitting the orange "ask a question" button.  good luck to you with the pregnancy and hope all goes well and has a happy ending.  

[tishaxx]

Aww hope your ok and I've list 3 baby's and now pregnant again its really horrible when your low sorry I didn't post this sooner

[glutonforpunishment]

hello. I see this was posted almost 24 hours ago and I hope you are feeling somewhat better since then. I read that you have looked into shelters and things but can not get in. I don't know if there is abuse going on but even if there is not , if you are considering suicide you need to get some help immediately. I know there are times we feel like it and may even ponder it but only you know if you would act upon it, but from what  I read above you sound a bit depressed and have lost hope. You can call the hotline # listed above or even go to your local ER. If you seriously need to get out of the situation and have no friends or family who could take you in for a few days you can check yourself into an emotional health unit for depression and /or suicide. They could work with you on feeling better about yourself and it will get you away from the situation for a few days.  Depression , anxiety, and things to that matter are unfortunately looked down on in our society, but they are no different then any other illness. If you are having chest pains or high blood pressure no one things twice about seeking treatment. No different in your case. Not only for you but for that lovely little person you are carrying. Best of luck!

[specialmom]

I also wanted to encourage you to actually see a doctor.  The way your partner said it was kind of rude but what he said is actually true.  If you need help, please please get it.  Depression is terrible to try to live with and you certainly sound very depressed.  Not uncommon after a baby, I might add.  You could even go to your delivering physician of the baby and tell them that you may be suffering depression and they will most likely try to help you or refer you to someone.  Any type of setting in which you can see a doctor is something I really encourage you to do.  Depression IS treatable.  It is hard to make changes or move forward under the cloud of depression so please consider getting help for this.  

Is your partner hurting you physically?  

Is there a wait list for the shelter?  

Keep applying to jobs but again, making sure that you've gotten treatment for depression is so helpful for being able to do that.

And agree, try not to stay isolated.  Above are good suggestions to get out there.  An organization called MOPS is also good for meeting new moms.  It stands for Mothers of Preschoolers and you can google for where they meet in your area.  

peace and luck to you dear

[specialmom]

Hello.  I'm sorry you are sad and having such a rough time.  Please don't give up or feel desperate.  This is just one chapter in your life and you will move onto a new and better chapter as soon as things line up for you to do so.  the suicide number above is something you should obviously use if you are considering any real harm to yourself or your baby.  Please help yourself if you feel more like that is a real concern.

Where is your family?  Is there ANYONE that you could turn to for help right now?

[Chima7]

Vivi, I know your boyfriend situation is stinky right now, but you have 1 very important reason to keep on.  That is your child.  Do you even realize how many women are out there wanting to have a baby but are not able to do so, either because of infertility or bad genes or not being able to find a viable partner or many other reasons? So many, many, many women go through their entire lives never knowing what it's like to have a baby and be a mom to someone, and here you are with a new baby and talking about wanting to leave that baby without a mom.  That's so unfair to the baby but it's also unfair to all of those women who really wanted to be a mom and couldn't.

There are many things you can do right now to occupy your time which don't involve your boyfriend nor having to deal with him. Why not get involved with some classes for new moms? Use the internet and search for mommy and me playgroups. You can get out of the house, meet some new moms who can become new friends, spend quality time with your baby, and none of it has to do with your boyfriend. Look for opportunities to do things and have experiences.  Don't sit around waiting for him to do something or to be someone that he is not. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and find some fun things to do.  If I had a new baby, I'd throw all of my time, energy, and effort into being the greatest mom that ever lived and make sure that baby was my first priority.  Then I'd look for friends who have kids so I could spend time with them instead of sitting at home being miserable due to the boyfriend.  That's what you need to do.  The more time you spend having fun without him, the less you'll need him and then it will be a lot easier to not care so much about what he is doing or isn't doing.

And in all seriousness, if you are truly so depressed that you don't feel like you can go on, please call a suicide prevention hotline. If you are in the USA, the number is 1-800-273-8255.  They are there to help you.  But for the sake of that new baby, I hope that you will not hurt yourself.