Fallen in love with coworker

[messedup2much]

How do you walk away from a man that you love and he loves you, we are both married and yet, neither of us want to leave our marriages.  We have not been intimate but it won't be long as we have be talking about it for months.  The what if's and what will it be like?  He has filled an empty spot in my heart however, because of being burned many relationships ago, I'm still have trust issues. I'm upfront and honest with my feelings about everything.  I know how he is with beautiful women and I've never in my life been jealous, until now.  I've told him we need to stop and I've told him why, but he keeps telling me  he will never let me go, that he won't leave.  Deep down I don't want to let him go but if I'm having insecurity issues then I feel it's not fair to him to keep our relationship going.  I deeply, truly, with heart and soul love him. I've committed myself to him as I have to my husband.  Yes, I know it sounds odd but, I love them both?? Oh God help me.

[messedup2much]

Well Pertykitty sounds like you have the issues!  Not once did I ever say or state that "I love him (co-worker)more than words", that is the love for my husband. I think you need therapy, lots of anger there??
As I said, I have put distance between us.  It's difficult since we both work in the same company and must meet during meetings.  Anyway, I know what I need to do, have done it, and will survive.  You on the other hand.....seek help for you negativity, life is much brighter without anger!!  For everyone else that responded, thank you for all your help.

[pertykitty]

now you love him more than words??? hope this all works out, you seem very defensive and confused. you ask, we answer and not always the way you want to hear. im proud that you took the step and told your husband. REMEMBER THOUGH-just because boots are under then bed at night, doesnt mean they are under someone elses during the day!

[messedup2much]

Obviously you don't read very well.  If you payed attention to my closing, you would see that I have distance myself from my friend.  I've made sure that we only have contact as required, during meetings and that's it.  He is devastated and it hurts like hell having to do this however, he realizes that I do love my husband and my marriage.  He too loves his wife and does not want to ruin his marriage.

[pricej]

I know I am late on this post but i just have to say something....I think you new the anserew before you even posted. You new the whole time you wasn't going to cut it off. I think you marriage is a diasaster waiting to happen. And in time you will see how wrong you are living you life. I feel sorry for you in a way. You have been giving so much good advise but your not hearing it. what you are doing is wrong. And it is a huge red flag when your husband says he doesn't care because your shoes are under his bed. How does a husband not care that his wife has feelings for another man and might cheat on him. One day you will relize what you are doing is wrong and then it will be too late. One day you will feel ashamed and used. In time it will come back to bite you. Prettykitty said it best. you will get what you deserve.

[confussed]

Just please be careful.  Because if it seems to good to be true it probably is.  I'm speaking from experience.  And not a long time ago either.  I'm talking last month.  It had gone on for over 6 months and he seemed like the knight in shining armor I could only dream of.  But when it came down to it when he thought it was gonna be he had to chose me or his wife.....well as you can tell It wasn't me and come to find our he was fake all along.  So I won't try and tell you what to do, but I will ask that you gaurd your heart cause you can let it get so involved before you know it and then it get's stomped on.  That's not a good feeling.

[messedup2much]

Well everyone..........I told my husband. Told him how I felt about my friend and that the feelings for each other have increased over time.  Told him that we had not "crossed that line" but it could very easily happen.  His response....."as long as your shoes, all 62 pairs, are under our bed every night, I know where you want to be!"  Was I surprised...no....because that saying is something that I had told him when he was getting close to his assistant.  Does he still have contact with her?  Of course, it's his assistant.  Do I worry about the "are they"?  No..why....because his boots are under our bed every night and I know we love each other more than words!  So, am I going to continue my friend...yes....but for now, at a distance.