Father, daughter

[anywoman]

I have a relative who is suspicious of women in general.  Basically he thinks they are manipulative, weak and out to have him do their bidding.   Lately his 14 yo daughter has been getting this attention.  He accuses her of using tears and brags that he is manipulated into whatever she wants.  She seems flattered.  This girl is a nice little girl and I would never say she is manipulative.  She is hard working and decent, but the relationship in this dynamic seem creepy.  Are my instincts wrong?

[Londres70]

It's apparent your relative has issues, however, I wouldn't worry about this.  Doesn't matter if your instincts are correct or not it's his life and beliefs and this is his prerogative.

Put your energy into something that's worth it.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  It is unfortunate that this man has had such experience in his life to not see women as more than one 'type' and as 'the enemy'.  What's that old joke "the he man woman haters club"?  Ugh,.  Archaic and antiquated thinking.  

Couples are meant to be equals.  Men who feel pushed around by women are often lacking something within themselves to see their partner as their equal or themselves as their equal.  I've never 'pushed' around my husband. I voice my thoughts and feelings as an equal.  He's welcome to do the same.  So, it is a dysfunctional relationship in which this dynamic of anyone feeling 'pushed' around by the other is going on in my opinion.  something to be corrected.

But this is not your situation to 'fix'.  This is a father and how things are with he and his daughter.  She may grow up to despise him or she may not.  When we have kids, we raise them as we see fit.  We ALL bring our own 'stuff' into the mix.  He might not be the greatest dad to a daughter and viewing his daughter as a 'woman' in the making manipulating through tears or whatever he says is sexist.  But that isn't really child abuse either.

So, let them work it out. If you are close to her, be a strong female role model for her.  That helps.  Show her a healthy man/woman relationship if you are in one, that helps too.

good luck

[Life360_Dave]

Well i think this is a male attiude that has befallen society since a 1000 years ago. And lets face it, women do have a tremendous amount of influence over men. Some men keep this thought active and some pay it no attention and apparently your relative has chosen to play this trump out. It would appear that hes been hurt by women and they way you describe what going on, i dont think he will change.