is he cheating

[elmo607]

what would you think if from april to janurary your husband would have different attitudes toward you. if you asked him if he could see his life without you he would say i dont know what the future holds. and then would put you down when he would call you and say that if you didnt stop accusing him of cheating he would do it. so you stop doing it and tried to make your conversations loving. then he comes home for a few weeks everything is going great til you find out that he has been emailing other females behind your back. you dont care that he does it as long as he is honest with you. so he tells them he wont talk to them anymore and deletes all contact info. goes back to work and on his way back there he realizes that you are the half that makes him whole and that he cant see his life without you and our son in it. and he starts believing in god. but 2 days after he headed back and found all this he ended up putting the girls email back on his account and hasnt told you that he is talking to her again. what are you to think about it? im so confused and mmy friends tell me he is cheating or hiding something. my heart says to trust him. im so torn between it. i do love him and trust him. please any advice would be nice. we just renewed our vows and had the best time together when he was home. what do i do?

[elmo607]

thank you. i have talked to him very deeply and he has reassured me that im the only one for him. he doesnt want to loose me. i have even talked to people that work with him but arent really friends that would lie for him and they have said the same thing. he has changed and its for the better and everything is about me and our son. i do trust him and i do love him. so thank you for the advice but im going to make my marriage work and im going to believe he isnt cheating.

[LindaPinda49]

You can love this guy--but DON'T trust him.  I trusted my husband blindly for 28 years and then I found out the he has had a prostitute addiction for at least the last 16 years.  He ranges between being emotionally abusive and telling me that he wants a divorce and he doesn't need or want me in his life to telling me that he would be dead without me.  He lies to get over.  He is not comfortable in his own skin and is a POSER extraordinaire.  This is a man who is a criminal defense attorney, very bright , personable and very handsome.  But there has always seemed to be a chip missing in his brain.  He is a serious commitment phobic and I know even after being together for all this time he has not bonded with me.  He has built walls and boundries around himself and would rather pay $200 to spend 1 hour with a prostitute then to come home and make love to me (I am attractive and in great shape--and very into sex).  He is emotionally and sexually disconnected to me.  Any of this sound familiar?  I don't know if you have children but I will tell you that this has had devastating consequences on my 2 sons.  If I had known this 10 years ago, I would have been divorced in a second.  Now I feel I am stuck.  Please take care of yourself and really examine what he is doing to you.  Make sure that you have all passwords and access to any and all computers that he is using.  Try to put spyware on his computer.  Check his cell phone messages and all his e-mail.  Check his pockets and briefcase. Don't forget to look under the "history" of the sites he has been on.  My husband was very involved with CraigsList hookers and that's how I found out.  I was NEVER a snooping wife but what I have been through in the last year has made me into one.  Good luck.  Feel free to write anytime.  I feel for you.  Linda

[iam1butterfly]

He's telling you what you want to hear (no more e-mailing other women); then, he's doing what he wants to do (e-mailing other women). This doesn't necessarily mean that he's cheating; it means that he's looking!  And, when people look...

[babypooh]

Wow, I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like you trust him and you have good reasons to not trust him. Just from what you wrote, it wouldn't be surprising if he was cheating, but you never know. Maybe it's all just internet flirting, which to me, is still wrong and cheating. You need to talk to him about it. Maybe try to see some of those outgoing/incoming messages and see how they talk to each other. The fact alone that he's lying about being in contact with other women is wrong and gives plenty of reason to doubt. It's up to you, honey, how you want to go about bringing it up, but I think you do need to address the issue. He doesn't sound very trustworthy, but you know him better, of course. Good luck!