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should i be mad that my boyfriend won't be there for me when i go for surgery?
Sometime the end of this month or june i got to get my tonsils removed. I never been for surgery before im scared to get put under. I heard to many scary stories about surgies that im so scared to get this done. I can't even sleep at night im stressing like crazy. i asked me boyfriend if he will be there he says he doesn't know because he got work. He knows how scared i am and him there would me feel better knowing he will be there when i wake up. We are both from Long Island, NY but last month he got a job in connecticut so he's not right around the corner from me anymore. He comes back on weekends but usually on weekends i'm working and hes working his 2nd job here so i don't always see him on weekends neither. When he said he doesn't know if he will be there i got so mad. I told him i'm done because work is always more important to him than someone he loves and its always been that way. He will never take a day off of work for anything or anyone not even for his own family if anything ever happened. I can't be with someone like this now i know if i ever go for something serious in the future he won't be there along as hes working. To me love is more important and if someone i love is in surgery i would be there no matter what. A job is important but the person you love should be more important. You can always find another job but you can't replace someone you love. I know his job is new its going on 2months but he does have vacation time. His boss said just let him know when he needs to take off, but of course he won't even use it! Do i have a right to be mad or am i crazy???
By the way i'm 19 and hes 23 and we been toghter for over a year.
By the way i'm 19 and hes 23 and we been toghter for over a year.
First off, I wouldn't be stressing about the surgery. Tonsillectomies are very common and easy surgeries, with very few complications that are possible. I'd talk to your bf about taking a half day to just be there in pre-op with you before the surgery. Tell him you'd really like for him to be there. I've been through a few surgeries myself, and it's always good to have a supportive network of people. Having family there and friends is really nice. Good luck with it all and take care of yourself.
I'm so sorry to hear that the tonsils have got to come out, but this is a straight forward surgery that so many people have had including myself and you are going to be just fine. I can understand not having your bf there for you and how uneased, hurt and upset you are about it and don't blame you. I also understand that he's not close either, but he is able to ask his boss if he can half 1/2 day off at least. Don't worry, ask your parents or a few close friends to be with you when you go into the hospital and surgery. I know it's scary, but yes, you can handle this, which will show your courage through difficult times and also your independence from relying on anyone ok. Have mom, family or few friends for support if your b/f is unable to be there, but let him know how hurt and abandoned your felt in a moment of need. You are going to be just fine, I promise and once you are out of surgery, it's going to take a little bit to heal (soup, jello, ice cream and soft foods for just a short while), but you are going to be just fine. Start getting your support system in place as soon as possible ok. Good Luck, Judy
Two things here.
Yes, work does seem to be more important to him than his girlfriend, which honestly, is not a bad quality in a young man. You don't want it to take complete precedence, i.e. if you were in a horrible car wreck he wouldn't be there. Prioritizing stuff.
Tonscillectomies are painful and you will be down for the week but it's not an emergency. Maybe at this point he's looking at you and evaluating how well you can weather storms - going through this with your mom or other family really is sufficient, Danielle. He may not be the type that wants someone who is needy - he may want a wife who can take care of business in his absence.
The needs you two have may not match up, is what I'm saying. You really seem needy, and he seems independent.
Best wishes.
Yes, work does seem to be more important to him than his girlfriend, which honestly, is not a bad quality in a young man. You don't want it to take complete precedence, i.e. if you were in a horrible car wreck he wouldn't be there. Prioritizing stuff.
Tonscillectomies are painful and you will be down for the week but it's not an emergency. Maybe at this point he's looking at you and evaluating how well you can weather storms - going through this with your mom or other family really is sufficient, Danielle. He may not be the type that wants someone who is needy - he may want a wife who can take care of business in his absence.
The needs you two have may not match up, is what I'm saying. You really seem needy, and he seems independent.
Best wishes.
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