i need help about my girlfriend

[sunshinexoxo]

well ive been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now .. it started off extremely rocky in the end .. she was cheating on me and blah blah but the relationship was not very serious.. as time went on i began to forgive her and our feelings for eachother grew extremely deep. for a year and 1/2 now she has not cheated on me at all. we work together and this guy we worked with caused a lot of confrontation between us because he liked her .. i drove her crazy about it for a month .. and i feel so guilty that i did that . but now she takes 4 classes at our local community college and i feel that she lied to me about going to class. she swore to me on everything in the world that she did go and she even started crying .. the only reason it is bugging me out is because my friend told me that he has a really good ffriend in her class and he told him that she wasnt there one day ... i dont know if she didnt go to class because she started cheating on me .. ? but after this past month we have had so many issues but i have never seen her break down and cry like that for me not believeing her .. is it just my nerves or am i missing something here ?

[RockRose]

sunshine,  if the relationship wasn't "serious" in the beginning,  she wasn't cheating.  She was like,  dating.  That's not cheating.    It's only in a serious,  committed relationship that someone can actually "cheat".

And I'm still trying to wrap my head around a friend of a friend having nothing better to chat about than whether a friend of a friend's girlfriend was in class or not.

[mami1323]

I totally agree with specialmom and Judy.  Doubting her is understandable from your previous experience with her cheating but again, you chose to forgive her and move forward and that's what you need to do.  Instead of bugging her about the situation, communicate to her how it makes you feel, that it's hard for you to trust since it hasn't been fully repaired and as much as you want to trust her it's just still a struggle for you.  But that since you haven't had any doubts about her in the past year, you are going to give her the benefit of the doubt here and work through this.  Maybe next time, you will just take her word for it and not bring it up at all.  It takes time when you've been betrayed but it's how you handle the situations or how you handle communication that make all the difference.  Instead of being accusatory, just be honest.  She will appreciate you more for it and won't fear your judgment if she did happen to skip a class.  Until you have solid proof of cheating, blaming is only going to cause more issues.  Plus, if you have no intentions of leaving her then why bother bringing it up.  Good luck.

[Judy246]

Ok, I can understand your mistrust, because in the early stages of the relationship, she did cheat on you and once trust has been broken, it takes a strong person to be able to forgive and put the past behind them, but not forget. Instead of judging her by the words of a friend of a friend, why don't you simply discuss your concerns and findings with her for the right answers. Tell her, that someone in her class told your friend that she wasn't in class and if that is true. You can't judge and give a sentence unless you have facts in front of you and I don't think you do. Only she and the instructor who takes attendance know for sure. "Discuss" with her how you are feeling insecure and to bear with you as you work towards trusting her again. Let her explain, but I can't imagine living my daily life wondering if  he/she is out there cheating, because that is no wa to live. Judy

[specialmom]

This is the problem of staying with someone who cheats.  Do you ever fully trust them again?  But you chose to stay with her so I would choose to let this incident go.  If you continue to push her about it, she may decide if you accuse her, why not do it.  So, let it go.  I wouldn't think it is very reliable that someone that is friends of a friend mentioned she wasn't there one day----- you need more evidence to ruin your relationship than that.  So, pay attention to what is going on from here on out and keep the past in the past.

I know it is hard to trust someone that betrayed you-  but a this point, I would try to do so.  As far as the guy at work, well-------  that is where you need to watch how she handles it.  Don't get jealous because a  guy likes her, that is a compliment to your girlfriend.  But it is how she reacts to it.  If she is like "oh well, thanks but I love my boyfriend" then don't react badly to it at all.  If she gives him any signs that she'd be interested back, then talk to her in private about it.  Don't give the guy at work any idea that there is a crack in the foundation or he will show that he likes her longer.  Good luck

[sunshinexoxo]

another thing is is that she explained to me is that she gets so mad because she says she really has been telling me the complete truth for a year and 1/2. she said it drives her nuts that i do not believe the truth and that is why she broke down.. i just dont know what to do .. i dont know if she reverted back to her old ways

[sunshinexoxo]

i mean she has been extremely faithful to me for a year and a half now and i never had any doubts in my mind .. but for some reason i just cant get this particular thing out of my head .. she swore to me on the world that she didnt and she even started crying and i never see her cry .. i just dont know what to do .. i keep annoying her about it and iknow that if she is telling the truth that if i continue i will push her away

[penswriter]

a friend of a friend told your friend who told you....

wow drama....

you can either believe the friend of the friend of the previously cheating g/f.