Aa
He wants anal sex but I do not. I don't want to loose him...
My boyfriend has expressed how much he likes anal sex and how it has been an impotant part of his sex life. The problem is, I have never liked it. It is uncomfortable for me and I don't feel it is necessary. When I tell him that I dont want to do it, he tells me that he would be gentle and do it properly where it wont be painful. He thinks that if I just gave it a try that I would really like it. He's getting this idea because other women he has dated would do anal intercourse with him and liked it. Also, he has a very large penis. It was difficult enough to take it in my vagina much less the thought of it in my a$$. He says he just cant understand why I would deny myself such pleasure. The subject has stressed me out so much that I cant enjoy our relationship. He is a very loving, affectionate and supportive man so everything except the anal subject has been wonderful. The affection he gives is not something I've gotten from most men I've dated in the past and it's hard to give that up but at the same time, I dont think anal intercourse is something he is willing to give up either. I don't know what to do. Any advise?
Rainlover is right - the anus is not a sex organ. Before birth control many people did this to avoid pregnancy. And they ended up with damage--anal prolapse. I can't believe you would want to poke your **** in some woman's anus. ugh. Explore some Tantric sex with your wife. There is not ever a need for butt fu$@ing-!
I don't think you realize how much damage can be done to the anus,it clearly wasn't designed for penetration because if it was it would have been designed differently and the bottom line here is that it's not a sexual organ.
why in the world would a man want to put his penis in an anus? that is just beyond me. it's disgusting. women have vaginas-! my as* has an "exit only" sign on it. only once did a man --former boyfriend years ago--ask me if I wanted to try anal and I said no and that was the end of it. he never asked me again. tell your boyfriend if you change your mind you'll let him know. if you loose him for this reason you are better off without him. a man should respect your wishes and want to protect you. not harm you for god's sake.
We're not talking about porn stars here. They do it too often and sometimes brutal. I'm sure that's not the case here.
- "Perforate the bowel" ??? As Harlie09 stated: "MOST men's penises are bigger then a finger", so i can't imagine someone going that hard inside the anus as to rupture or perforate it. That's exactly the kind of missinformation that leads to the fear of it.
"my husband never asked me for ..." Then maybe he found it somewhere else and doesn't need you to do it.
- "it does not expand to accept a penis". Wrong! By relaxing and lube-ing it correctly it can accept an average penis.
- "If it hurts and it's awful". I agree 100%.
But what if it doesn't? What if all the nerv endings in that region give you pleasure? Then the only reason not to do it, is because some 64 years old woman tought you to tell him "Hey, dickhead, we're not doing this" or a 41 years old man, who's looking to score some, displaying a gigolo photo and an "i care about women's feelings" text.
With the risk of making this too personal or selfish (as i sayd in my first post) i want to try to make u understand where all this is coming from.
My wife and i are both in our 30's and don't have jobs that overwork us, we're not stressed about money or anything else. Even so we're only having sex once a week (even less) and each time is the same. Same place, same maner, same everything. Why do i have to feel guilty for wanting more? IF it happens so rare at least it should be total sex each time.
I don't want to cheat on my wife as i'm sure many of the husbands who's wives say "my husband doesnt' need that, doesn't want the other" have done many times.
All i want is for her to at least try some of the things and only then say "i liked it" or "i didn't like it let's never do that again".
I would like to see what chattypatti has to say about all the things people wrote here. That is if she is still following this. Has she come to any decision?
- "Perforate the bowel" ??? As Harlie09 stated: "MOST men's penises are bigger then a finger", so i can't imagine someone going that hard inside the anus as to rupture or perforate it. That's exactly the kind of missinformation that leads to the fear of it.
"my husband never asked me for ..." Then maybe he found it somewhere else and doesn't need you to do it.
- "it does not expand to accept a penis". Wrong! By relaxing and lube-ing it correctly it can accept an average penis.
- "If it hurts and it's awful". I agree 100%.
But what if it doesn't? What if all the nerv endings in that region give you pleasure? Then the only reason not to do it, is because some 64 years old woman tought you to tell him "Hey, dickhead, we're not doing this" or a 41 years old man, who's looking to score some, displaying a gigolo photo and an "i care about women's feelings" text.
With the risk of making this too personal or selfish (as i sayd in my first post) i want to try to make u understand where all this is coming from.
My wife and i are both in our 30's and don't have jobs that overwork us, we're not stressed about money or anything else. Even so we're only having sex once a week (even less) and each time is the same. Same place, same maner, same everything. Why do i have to feel guilty for wanting more? IF it happens so rare at least it should be total sex each time.
I don't want to cheat on my wife as i'm sure many of the husbands who's wives say "my husband doesnt' need that, doesn't want the other" have done many times.
All i want is for her to at least try some of the things and only then say "i liked it" or "i didn't like it let's never do that again".
I would like to see what chattypatti has to say about all the things people wrote here. That is if she is still following this. Has she come to any decision?
That should have read "women shouldn't"
Anal sex is a damaging act,you can perforate the bowel and down the track you might experience anal leakage,it's happened to many porn stars.Stick to the front door and leave the backdoor alone.Women should have to go through pain because of some selfish man,oh and don't forget about all the bacteria in there aswell.
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