Help with my b/f snorting roxy's

[mattNbecky]

I need help with my b/f. we have been together on and off for 5 years we recently got back together after about a year breakup. he started snorting roxy pills when we were split up. he still does them and i cant get him to stop. he says he can quit when ever he wants but i asked him not to do it for 3 days straight and he couldnt. he has mood swings gets very angry over little things. he will also get very horny but not be able to stay errect and that then makes him mad. i know its the pills and not me but he still wont stop. his friends all do the same so they incourage it too. i wont leave him but i need help with what to do. i love him so much and we have a beautiful 3yr old daughter together. how do i deal with this? he says its all just for fun it makes him feel good. and he has pain so they make it better. but i think the pills are causing the pain. please help!

[Ashelen]

old post

[Gotmoxy]

Is your bf a good father? You have your daughter full-time it seems. Like you said, you bring her to visit him, or he comes over. Does he have a job? Do you work? How often does he see her? How often does he have her? Is the parenting mostly on your part, and why? Those are the things you need to consider first. If he is a good father and provides for your daughter, both financially and emotionally, then it's time to get family and friends involved to help him get the help he needs. You also said that he is not around your daughter, when he has pills, and you don't take your daughter around when he is high, but he does it everyday right? And I know he comes to your house stoned, because you said he has trouble keeping an erection. So, he comes over, once the little one is asleep? So, basically he doesn't have much time with his daughter? He is putting his addiction first. You say you love him, but what do you love about him now? He's always high, and just comes over to have sex, which he can barely perform. Am I right?

[justluke]

Well i had been  hooked on a lot stronger drugs! i never thought i could get addicted  but i did bad  then i never thought i could ever get off them  but with the help of my family  and suboxone for a year iv been clean for 2years but the reason i decided to Stop! was because people started to find out i was using and thought bad of me it made me sick and mad i found out my sister was telling everybody i hated her for that but if she did not today i would still be on Drugs!  so tough love ***** sometimes but it Helps! so tell somebody if you want to help him

[Jaybay]

Ditto what aggiesmom said.  You can't use walking away from him as a club to beat sense into his head.  You have to walk away for your own happiness and welfare, and that of your daughter.

[Agiesmom]

His addiction is not something you can do anything about.  You can't make him stop.  You can't make him go through rehab.  You can't make him be the man you met pre-drugs.

You can walk away.  But don't do it hoping he will decide having you and your daughter in his life is more important than drugs.  People lose jobs, homes, cars, retirement money, and loved ones and still continue to use.  Many use until the substance ends up taking their own lives in some way (overdose or car accident).  There are mothers who have lost their children, but won't clean up so they can even see them, never mind get them back.

It's bigger than the both of you.  But he's the one who has to decide he doesn't want to do it anymore.  And even if you really, really want to quit something that is addictive--even if you have all the incentives in the world to do so--it doesn't always happen.  Actually, it often does not happen.

You should move on.  Focus on your daughter, without expecting him to ever quit and be a part of your life again.  If he does, great...but it's more likely that he won't.

[mattNbecky]

thanks everyone for being brutally honest!  him and i dont live together so my daughter is never around him when i know he has the pills. he does know not to bring them to my house because im not losing my girl over his doing. and i will not take her to his house when i know he is high.  this is not the man i fell in love with 5yrs ago. the man i fell in love with use to pride himself because he never touched drugs in his life. within the past year he has started snorting the pills. that is why i have trouble just leaving. i know the man he was and still would be with out the pills. but can i get him back is the problem?. should i give up on him or try to help him see he has a problem?

[mayflowers]

Sounds like you have wasted 5 yrs with a loser.  I must be getting old b/c I have no idea what roxy is.  Regardless, people who use drugs or are addicted to drugs are weak individuals.  Wouldn't waste my time with someone like this.  

[Jaybay]

It appears you've already decided to stay with a drug abuser who can't satisfy you sexually and expose your daughter to his drug use and stoned behavior.  So why bother asking anyone for advice?  You can't change him.  You can't control his behavior, but you can control your own behavior and your daughter's lifestyle.  

[jo929]

you do say that you wont leave him. and also you say, he wont stop.He does have a problem you know, and it might get worse, what about your little daughter, what will this do to her as she grows, and sees and hear the things that are being said?   Lots luck  jo