How can i cope with my jealousy

[upsidedown4475]

I have been in a relationship with my girldfriend with 7 months now and i love her to bits but there is one thing thats tearing me up, my jealousy. it started about two months into the relationship when she told me that she had slept with one of my friends before i knew her or even him and this didnt bother me majorly and i got over it realativly quickly because she told me it was a mistake and i told myself that it didnt bother me because i wasnt part of her life by then. However a short while after it came up in conversation again between up but this time she said that they had both planned to have sex, this was a direct condtadiction to what she had said about it being an accident but i didnt let it bother me. Last night however we where talking and i asked her out of curiosity why she had given me two different storys, it turns out she had sex with him on two occasions, one accidental, one planned.

my problem is that im finding it extremly hard to cope with this and i dont know why, i know it shouldnt bother me as i didnt know either of them at the time but it does, i cant stop picturing the two of them having sex and its really hurting anyone any ideas on how i can help cope with this?

[treazzure007]

well, in the future.  don't ask your girlfriend or girlfriends who they've slept with in the pass b/c you don't want to know.  that's all there is to it.  you don't want to know that it was your friend or that it was your cousin or classmate.    

ignorance is bliss in a situation like this

[upsidedown4475]

as much as it pains me i dont see myself leaving her over this i guess i just really want some help on things i could do to ease the hurt im feeling. it may help to add that she hates this guy with a passion so it baffles me why she would do it once, let alone twice and now the guy is one of my female friends boyfriends and this female friend is my girlfriends best friend and she dosent know that it happened and if she did it would kill her. sorry if thats confusing.

[treazzure007]

never understood the having-sex-like-handshaking phenomenon.  i wouldn't be able to tolerate the same thing - picturing the 2 of them together.  aggravating.  i would let her go.  find you a girl that didn't sleep w/ your friend or friends, the store clerk, the choir boy, the neighbor etc...
some people need to keep their 'casual' business on another side of town.  just my 2 cents

[iam1butterfly]

This could be a trust issue or a jealousy issue. The two kind of go hand-in-hand. It would appear that she means to be honest with you. And, maybe she figures since the contact with the other young man occurred before she ever laid eyes on you that it's no big deal. After all, she didn't have to tell you anything; and, you would have been none the wiser. As long as she's remaining faithful to you now, that's what really counts.

[teko]

The jealousy says more about you than it does about your gf actions.  It says you are insecure in yourself and your ability to keep your gf without her cheating.  It is also about control of anothers actions.  The bottom line is this.  She will do what she will do. You cannot control her. If you do not trust her, it is time to rethink the relationship. Nicknamed the green eyed monster because once it is let out, it wrecks havoc on the owner and all around them until everythin is utterly destroyed, then sits in wait for the next relationship to do it all over again. Losing the relationship that you cannot handle is healthier than letting the monster out. I hope that makes sense, now I will go have my morning cup of jo.