How can i fix this?

[ariannastone]

Okay, me and my fiance of a year and a half broke up about 3 months ago. We still talk every day, but we aren't very close. We had been broken up for about 1 week when i found out i was pregnant. After i found out i told him and immediately asked him to take me back, he said no. He tried to force me for the next 3 weeks to get an abortion but i refused. He has since then come around and he wants to be in the baby's life, he's even helped me pick out a few things for the baby. i have to move out and he lives in a very small apartment, neither of us can afford a big enough house or apartment to have a nursery or big enough room to fit a crib/bassinet in, on our own seeing as we both make minimum wage. So i want us to move in together but he won't unless we are dating. i know he still cares about me at least a little, he gets very jealous when i talk to other men. i want to get him back because i love him with all my heart and i want my baby to have a family, not a broken home. Plus he won't really participate in the pregnancy cause we aren't together, but i know he cares for the baby because he got a copy of the ultrasound and carried it every where in his pocket, he never wanted it to leave his side so it got ruined. He even told me that he cried every time he looked at it and he began to cry when talking about it. i grew up without a father my whole life and it ***** soo much, i'm really depressed about it and i cry frequently. Bottom line, i don't want my baby to be fatherless but i also don't want him to have a ****** dad, my ex will be a ****** dad if we aren't together. i want to get him back because i love him and i want us to be a family. How do i get him back?

[ariannastone]

i would never cheat on anyone.. he doesn't trust me not to break up with him and break his heart.. he is the only guy i've had sex with. i don't go to school, i was home schooled. i've never thought of adoption, this was my doing now i have to deal with it and take responsibility. i don't have a dad, he died when i was 4.. but i cannot talk to my mum.

[sweetpea03]

I'm a bit confused on your story. Why does your ex not trust you? Did you cheat on him? or what happened? And if you did cheat, are you sure this is his baby? Also, it is never healthy to make one person your whole life and have all of your happiness rely on that one person. The only person who can make you happy is yourself, so you need to pick yourself back up and start moving forward. I know it seems hard, but you do have it in you. Do you have friends at work? Try reaching out to coworkers to talk to. If you are in school, look for people in class to talk to and befriend. Have you thought about adoption? That may be something to think about and you can talk with your parents about.

[ariannastone]

i can't get help from my family.. They disowned me because "a child born out of holy wedlock is an abomination to god". i don't want to force him to go back but i know he still loves me, he just doesn't trust me not to hurt him again.. is there a way i can make him trust me? i know i'm young and everyone thinks i don't know what love is but i know what it's not so i know when i'm feeling it.. i really don't think i could go on with life without him... i don't have anyone to talk to, literally no one. No mum, no siblings, no friends. He was all i had, he's all i still have.. but it's not like i can call him or text him and talk about my problems when he is my problem, ya know?

[AHP84]

Hey there. Sorry to hear you are going through this. It's a tough situation, no doubt. I've been in a similar situation in my past, so I know how hard it is to go through this.
I have to give my honest opinion and advice, though. First, you don't give a reason why you broke up--but it sounds like whatever the reason, it was bad enough for him to have trust issues with taking you back. Either that, or he is very good at being manipulative and controlling. It's one or the other, but without any background info about the reason of the breakup, I can't determine which category applies for him.
Secondly, your profile says you're 18 years old, and you mention that both of you are working at only minimum wage and can't afford a decent place to live if you were to get back together. Is your ex boyfriend 18 years old also?
If so, I think the priority that both of you need to have right now is NOT moving in together, regardless of your relationship status. Niether or you are in any condition to provide a baby with everything it needs in life, much less yourselves together. Moving in together right now would turn into a disaster, I can assure you. You need to stay with your parents or whomever you're with to keep a decent financial support system and a stable home environment. You should pursue college if you plan to do that.
As for your ex boyfriend not being as involved as he should be if you two are not together, living together. Honestly, that is his problem and his loss. You cannot take his actions upon yourself; you can't make him into something he's not. If he's setting himself up now to be a crummy dad because you two aren't together, then TRUST ME, it's not going to change if you are together. It is his choice whether or not he involves himself. If he's as emotionally into having the baby as he's presenting himself to be by crying over an ultrasound photo, then he'll prove himself once the baby is born--it's either a manipulative act right now or sincere. If it's sincere, then he is probably not going to be a crummy dad and he'll be involved. Guys usually become more involved after the birth; it's not uncommon for them to not be extremely interested in the pregnancy. That's actually pretty normal guy behavior, especially for a guy so young.
You need to stop trying so hard to get him back right now. That should be the least of your worries. He is now involved in your life for good whether he wants to be or not, so take it one day at a time. Your focus right now should be maintaining a healthy pregnancy, keeping a good family support system in order for yourself, lining up college for yourself if you're interested in pursuing it (highly recommended), and keeping all doors of communication open for the baby's father to stay involved. Should he start to fade off into deadbeat dad land, have the baby, file for a DNA test, establish his paternity, and the courts will make him pay child support and set up visitation rights for him.
It'll be okay though, it seems to me by what you wrote. He honestly doesn't seem to be the type of guy to leave his child "fatherless." I think he just needs some more time to come around.
But don't move in together. Not yet. That would be a really, really bad idea.

[sweetpea03]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. There is no way to force your ex to get back with you, as that is a decision he will have to make. Though what you can do now is try to get your life in order before the baby comes. Look for other job opportunities that may pay more, help from family, etc. Find a good place to live and look for ways to better yourself and your life. Are you planning on keeping the baby if he does not want to get back with you? There is the option of adoption that you can look in to. In that situation, a 2 parent family that is ready and wanting a baby could take in your child and you can have an open or closed adoption depending on what you would want. In an open adoption, you would keep in touch with the family and be able to watch your child grow up, which tends to be the more popular route to take these days. You have a lot to think about and things to do, so try to take things one day at a time.