jealously

[emilyt92]

Hey,, this is my first time posting on this forum. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and I'm currently not working. We moved into our own place nearly two month ago and I had a miscarriage two Weeks ago. I have always had issues with self confidence anyway, so has he. In past relationships we have both been cheated on and I think that's where the jealousy and paranoia come from. Neither I'd us have cheated but there's always something in the back of my mind that says he might. My suspicions are worse when alcohol is involved. Because I ain't work, I have the opportunity to cheat as I know his hours and know when he's sue home. This said,, I never would cheat. I love him so much and  I know he feels the same way, but why can't I get this out of my head. What changes can we make, what can we do? How could we convince each other that were not all cheats just cause our ex's were.. Lease help me, I need to save this otherwise resect relationship.

[emilyt92]

I guess I just can't see any reason he wouldn't cause I feel he's so much better and could get so much better

[emilyt92]

We so talk about it but we just can't think of a way to resolve it. I know I'm being stupid and it's all in my head cause he's.amazing. Maybe I just have to keep telling myself that. Thank to both for your help

[Miss_Direct]

...How he is towards you? If you dont trust him and their doubts its not easy and iys open having that talk with him about how you feel.Good Luck.

[Miss_Direct]

Emily fair play you have the doubts but you have to base your relationship on evidence of how your partner is towards you.  Having the miscarriage and a low self esteem doesnt help you feeling negative. What you need to weigh up is evidence off how he is towards you against

[emilyt92]

Thing is, we rarely go out. through our own choice, not because we don't let each other. Neither of us accuse each other of anything. We talk about it though. I know that he hasn't cheated but it wouldn't be any different if we were with anyone else. Were not pushing each other away. We just want to feel,more comfortable with each other going out etc. I am in love with him and have  no intention of leaving him, just want the perfect relationship

[LaDonnaF]

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

I am in the same boat (aside from being unemployed) and my BF loves going out with his single friends and drinking.

This is something that you both have to work on. It is YOUR issue and YOUR insecurity. It is not fair to him if you begin to double check on him or nitpick into everything he does because you are suspicious and cannot let go of the fact that your ex, not your current boyfriend, cheated.

This is not easy but it is not his problem it is yours. You have to trust him. If there is no trust in a relationship where neither one of you have done anything wrong than it is not going to work.

If it is available to you couple's therapy (of even just you) wouldn't hurt. I just don't know what a therapist could say to you that would help because in the end it has to be something you come to grips with and what helps is going to be different for everyone.

For me it took several months but I accepted that my bf is NOT my ex and, as he loves me and was also cheated on, he would NOT do that to me.

we both told eachother that if we are unhappy in the relationship we will tell eachother first before thinking about seeking happiness elsewhere while still together. It is just painful and unfair.

Good luck hun!