How to heal a broken heart!

[Judy246]

How did you react to having your heart broken (please note: I'm only allowed 4 questions to post). I'm sure there are other options and opinions,so feel free to express yourself.

[Judy246]

It's interesting that when someone breaks up with us, we begin to find fault with ourselves. For example, "I wasn't pretty enought", "I'm not smart enought", "He's better than me", etc. when in reality and in most cases, we are beautiful inside and out and we are intelligent. It was just not meant to be no matter what, but it's so difficult to get pass the "if only's and what if's".

Thank you all for sharing your story. I hope someone who is broken hearted will appreciate find comfort in knowing that what they are going through, we have all experienced and it's very difficult, yet we can move forward.

[mami1323]

Hhhmmm, with each break up I handled it differently.  With my first I was a mess, he was my first everything and so I sat in my room and cried for 2 weeks straight.  I was extremely hurt and bitter and angry, but I wanted him back for a long time.  I didn't let him know that but I did in my heart.  Even though he wronged me.  I did get revenge though about a year after we broke up.  I wound up sleeping with his best friend.  To this day he doesn't know about it but his best friend and I were dating for a few months.  It never went any where but in a way it was my sweet revenge.  Eventually, I moved on, as time passed, my wounds healed and I was able to move forward.  My second relationship, I broke up with him for my now fiance.  But it was only because he wouldn't commit to me, he never called me his "girlfriend", he barely spent time with me and my friend told me she saw him kissing some girl in a club.  So when I met my fiance I just knew it was time to move on.  I did have one relationship before I met my fiance.  I was still dating my ex but like I said he didn't want a committment so I dated some guy I worked with and let me tell you.  I fell head over heels for him in such a short amount of time but found out that he got back with his ex girlfriend but was still seeing me while this was happening.  That one was hard to get over because we worked together and I had to see him.  That was a very bitter breakup.  To the point where I hated him and wanted to see his eyes poked out...lol.  But right after that a few months later I met my fiance and dumped the ex.  The ex I didn't have a hard time getting over.  It was already pretty much over.  It had played itself out.  When my fiance hurt me from the cheating, I thought about revenge for a moment but it was a brief moment.  I was just angry, hurt, bitter and now I'm moving forward with him and not looking back at the past as much.  

[tbabi20]

Well for me I've always been broken up with. But they tell me after that they're sorry for making that mistake. I've never gone back to those guys, but i'm good friends with them.

But yes, it hurts at first. I think I somehow blamed myself thinking if only I were prettier, better at certain things, or more supportive etc.- they would still be with me? But I ultimately forgive and realize things happen for a reason. We gave it our best and that's all.

I guess how you choose to react depends on how you felt with that person and what that person did to break your heart.

[Judy246]

It is absolutely a painful learning experience, but you do move forward.

[iam1butterfly]

Whether I'm the heart-breaker
or, I'm the one whose heart has been broken,
I'm inclined to:
... reflect and look back (usually, with no regrets)
... learn from the experience
... then, move forward.

[Judy246]

I have been on both sides. I have broken hearts and I was dumped 2 x's. I think maturity has a lot to do with how you respond to a broken heart. As a teenager, I hated, wanted revenge and wanted him to hurt just as much as he hurt me and it took a long time to heal. It changed me as a person. As an adult (up in age now (lol), I had a guy who just wasn't feeling it. He literally told me to go back to my ex...yes, it happened and I was shocked, but, from past experiences, I said, I will never shed a tear for a man ever again. I accepted what I couldn't change, took a while to heal, but NEVER looked back and, I must admit, to forgive is divine and you learn to forgive. It is something that did not come natural for me. I had to work at it, but I have to admit, with age and maturity, you respond differently. Before, I hated him, now move forward and not look back.

[vmvnpv]

It actually was a little bit of all of them.  I did think of scenarios that would emotionally hurt the guy who broke my heart but never had any intention of following through with them.  The relationship I had the year before my DH and I met was a tough one to get over.  I had a lot of anger and bitterness and it was a long time before I accepted the break up but now I don't look back.  It took a long time for me to just move forward but I was finally able to take that first step and I haven't looked back since.  I realize now that it all works out eventually.