Even getting to a regular therapist would help, since things are so locked up in anger, blame, shame and fear. It won't get better by magic, you two have to work at it in a constructive way. Doing that with a therapist's help would be better than how you are approaching it now.
I would go to the bookstore (or online to a bookstore) and look for books on sexual disfunction or sexual issues, and on sexual positions. I would also see about getting to a therapist who specializes in sexual issues.
Should he stop masturbating would that help. And how will i make him feel when he is in me when he's not in me i make him feel teh max but when he is in me i dont make him feel and for both of us its become a problem now and when we start having sex we do not think of the pleasure we think that we will have to do it this time.
Another thing which i would like to specify here is tell now we would have tried it not more than 5 or 6 times do you think we have to try it more number of times..
Anything which improves will be great. Please suggest..
Yes I * must * marry him and i always think it will be fine once we are married we cannot live without each other i dont mind getting some sperm in any form other than he himself ejaculating for getting a baby and just stay with him. But i always think about it.
ANd is this my problem by any chance since am not reacting he says i will have to make him feel my reacting and many other acts i do not know what to do. please advice and also give me some websites where i can see different positions..
Have him see a uriologist.
There are many books on different sexual positions. However, that doesn't sound like the source of your problem.
Are you in a position where you simply *must* marry him? I sure would not do it, at least while this is still unresolved.