I am falling....for the wrong person???

[alvaa]

Ok, first off, I am so glad that there is a relationship forum here. I did not realize that until now. I am a clinically depressed person with anxiety disorder. I am a "family values republican"....whatever that means.

I got divorced in 2007. I have a beautiful 7 year old daughter. I met a girl through school activities. She is 32 (I am 40) and at first I never thought anything about her. She was some woman with 4 kids. She also has tattoos which do not turn me on. The more I got to know her and her personality, the more I liked her. We joined on facebook and it got even more dramatic. She had issues, she had enemies. She has people busting out her car windows and stuff. She is very opposite than me. She has 4 kids from 3 men, one was an affair. She lived with a black man for a while (Let me get back to this). I found out stuff about her because I know the people she works for. She got pregnant in high school. I adore her! I adore her kids. They seem to like me. She asked me out and I am scared. The fact that she live with a black guy does not bother me at all but with the exception that I cannot "measure up" so to speak. I am not even above average for a white guy. She has all of this baggage but I would do anything for her. She is so awesome. I don't want to get hurt but I do not want to hurt her either. Can anyone give me some advice?

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well, let me just tell you that I've done that when I didn't respond to someone.  "Oh, I didn't get the  message".  Not proud of it but it is the easy way out once in a blue moon.  

Maybe she isn't getting them.  Does anyone else you know have problems when you text them?  

Is there anyway you  could date around and not JUST her so that you don't get too attached too quick??  

[alvaa]

New update:

I sent her flowers yesterday at her workplace. She told a co-worker that she was confused because I stopped communicating with her (txting) for 3 days. We texted last night and I am getting the impression that she is not getting all of my text messages. For example, I texted her last night that I would like to talk to her instead of texting some time this week. She never responded. I texted her this morning and asked her if she got my message about talking last night and she said no.

[alvaa]

Thank you. I am starting to back away now. She seems to be an off and on girl. Last week we skyped and it went good, but she became distant the next few days. Then we took our kids to the playground and I thought it went awesome, but since then she's been distant. I sort of wished I didn't order those flowers from proflowers to be delivered to her work tomorrow. I talked to her boss today and told her to take my name off of them when they come in. I will see if she wonders who they are from or if she knows they are from me. If she has no idea or thinks someone else, then I will back out of this.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I want you to know that everyone has your best interest at heart.  New romance is very exciting and sometimes it clouds the big picture.  

Just try to keep your eyes open and your head clear if you pursue this.  And it is always a good idea to make sure our mental health is taken care of.  

good luck

[alvaa]

I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. We had a good time Friday night but didn't talk much after that, so I am a bit concerned.

As for my anxiety issues, I am attempting to make an appointment with the psychiatrist now.

[Londres70]

I really think you should sort out your anxiety issues because it is apparent that they are extreme and muddle your perception of situations, people, what people say, etc.  

This is not my life so NO need for me to mad about anything.  

By all means, go ahead and make your plan happen.