I do not love my husband anymore

[X_Z]

i am an asian married for 2 years and i fell out of love with my husband. we were together for 4 years before a i walk out of his life. we reconcile and married after 2 years of separations. we reconcile due to comfort and convenience. when he proposed, it was in the heat of the moment tat i said yes. we had several huge arguments within this 2 year of marriage, one resulting in me trying to commit suicide. i was unable to do it bcoz of the thots of my family. we have totally different lifestyle, he's a homely man where as i am a very out going person. i have tried hard to make the marriage work but i am unable to love him anymore. i do not hate him, but i don love him. i am caring out of guilt since i am married to him. i have found his constant probing anoying and i know he has been hacking into my computer to look at my stuffs. should i leave him?

[DLG5]

It's too easy to get a divorce now days.  Couples don't work through their problems because they don't have to.  

You don't "fall out of love" with someone,  at least not as easy as you would change your socks.   It sounds like a circle of mis-trust.  He is intimidated by your outgoing nature and just assumes that you are cheating on him, so he checks up on you in his on "wrong" way.  Then you are angry and don't trust him anymore either.  It is a continuous circle of mis-trust that left untreated will end in another divorce.  So get counseling if you still want to.

Donald

[redneckmom]

To the above comment that women are not bound by rules and traditions anymore, that may be true in the sense that we make our own decisions and work, vote and carry on our own lives.  However, if you are immature enough to think that means doing whatever you want no matter who else gets hurt because they are not you then you should get some serious help.  When a women chooses her spouce she has taken a responsibility to help him have the best and happiest life she can.  I understand that is not always easy.  This man is not beating her or abusing her.  She wants to run around and he does not.  They need to reach a comprimise like adults.  That is what marriage is about.  No two people are ever going to agree about everything.  

I am not asian, however divorce should never be looked at as an acceptable thing just because somebody isn't happy.  That person needs to be an adult and approach their marriage as a job.  Fix it if it is breaking.  Grow up and take responsibility for your choice in a spouce and try to be happy together.  There is a comprimise somewhere.  

About the computer, why on earth did he have to "hack" into your computer?  Why are you so private from him if there is nothing to hide?  My fiance and I don't hide things from eachother and don't ever feel the need to snoop on eachother.  If you know he is the jealous type then don't be so flippin private that he resorts to snooping.  Open up a bit.  I would say that if you were offering him a bit more information about yourself he wouldn't feel the need to snoop.  

About him wanting to stay home, can't you see any part of the compliment in that?  He loves you, enough to want to share a home, marriage and life with you.  He doesn't want to go out and share his time with you yet.  He wants to love you in the home he has with you.  That is a compliment that a lot of women don't recieve.  Obviously you are fun enough that he doesn't need outside stimulation.  When you do want to go out, make it fun for him too.  Executives do need to do a bit of entertaining, but are you forgetting about him when you are with clients?  Treat him like a client some time.  He will probably enjoy going out a bit more if you do.  Your clients will probably respect you more for it as well.  

Sorry to have gone on so long, I just felt strongly that you aren't trying hard enough to make your marriage work.  My personal opinion is very strong that marriage is forever.  If your husband was beating you or otherwise abusing you it may be different.  Give it a good try and I think you will be very happy.  Good luck to you.

[Ifeelyourpain]

I know excatly how you feel!!! It is like seeing my own situation right in front of me. The only difference is that I am considering very seriously about divorce right now. I am too an Asian, but my parents do support me in getting a divorce if it were absolutely neccessary and have never told me that it will bring shame to the family. I think that you need to communicate with your parents and tell them how miserable you are and that we women now have the freedom of choice and are not bounded by rules and tradditions anymore. I am sure they will understand if you sincerely told them that you truly need their support. As for others, they do not have a right to point their fingers at you or tell you what to do. Committing suicide is an even worst idea....why should you sacrifice your own life and take your enjoyment of life away while you could just make things go your way? It is not worth it to just throw your life away, it is like running away and never solve the problems in your life, which is a very cowardly and selfish act. If you committed suicide, you would be pushing your guilt to someone else and let your family suffer. There are still people in this world who need you and so many things to explore!!!
I am also a very outgoing person and I absolutely hate it when my husband just wants to stay at home and watch TV....it drives me crazy!!! It feels like as if something is missing in my relationship with him and I think it is time for me to get out. I still want to find that someone who understands and respect me in such a way that I can tolerate lots of differences. I still deserve the right to be happy at some point and find my prince charming. Although I may not find the one, there is still hope for me and I am not gonna let it go without trying.
I do wish you good luck and hope that you will make the right decisions for yourself.
-Ifeelyourpain-

[Haremiliana]

Do what your heart tells you to don't think about others, they are not the one who's living your life you're, being an asian myself I know how you feel you'll bring shame to your family, once you're a divorcee, don't ever think of suicide be strong and positive, all the best...

[hopeful1984]

I am too Asian and come from a very strict family that does not accept divorces, but sucide is not the way to go.. I'm pretty sure if you sit your husband down and tell him everything and about how you feel, I'm pretty sure he would understand because no one wants to be in a loveless marraige.  You have to be fair to yourself and for your husband.  Do you have any kids?  Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck.

[marra]

sory i meant westernized ! it is asian person living in the west with western traditions  rarther than asian  .