I left my husband for another man... i dont know what to do?

[sadhappyandconfused]

I left my ex-husband,together for 7 years and married for 3 years, for another man. We have 1 child together and we worked at the same place, but in different areas, i fell in love with one of my co-workers and left my ex-husband for him. Me and my ex-husband had alot of problems, he never beat on me or our kid, but never showed any kind of emotion towards me like i needed, only when he wanted something. Sex was only when he felt like it. And never pationate sex, just quicky sex. He had a gambling problem and its only gotten worse. I tried talking to him about how i felt and he never cared. He always brushed me off. He treated me like a child. I guess because i met him when i was 14 and started dating when i was 15. he is 7yrs older and kind of treated me like his daughter sometimes. Dont get me wrong we had fun and life was good for a little while. But i started to hate him, we always faught, i never was right in his eyes, and he always made me feel like dirt. I met someone that had the same dreams i did and was very pationate and all that good stuff... i fell head over hills for him. So i left my ex-husband, and it was a horrbile divorce. He found out about the guy i had been talking to and i know it hurt him. I feal so horrible about how it went down. Just so you know i never touched the guy while i was with my ex-husband. I did have conversations with him that i shouldnt have, but never touched him. The day i left my ex-husband i went straight to the guy im with now. I ended getting pregnate about 5 weeks after leaving my ex-husband by this other man. This other man is now my fiance' and we have one kid together. I love him alot, but i have so much hurt from the divorce and how it all went down, and what i did to my ex, that i feel like screaming sometimes. Im not a person to hurt anyone, and i did. Even though we were falling apart i should have never talked to another man, and never should went to my fiance while i was still married but seperated. I cant talk to anyone about this. What do i do? I am ate up with guilt and some regret and in a relationship now with another child. Do you think my first son will hate me for leaving his dad the way i did? im sure he will find out the story eventually, he is only 4 now. I feel like my fiance and i relationship started off wrong and thats why we have the problems we have. When he got with me his Ex-wife jerked his 8yr old daughter away because she was one of those jealous ex wifes. They had been divorced for 8 years and she still did that. Ever since then him and his daughters relationship has suffered, and its all because i came into his life. I think he blams me, even though he says he dont. He get real depressed over it and i feel horrible cause i cant do anything. My fiance is a very moody person and gives me the cold shoulder alot and gets me real depressed. i guess im writing this whole story for some advice. What do i do? how do i deal with all these emotions i have inside about the past and now. It has been 2 and a half years since i left me ex and i am still ate up over it. he was my best friend and one point, and my life ended up life some dam tv show. How did this happen? im not this kind of person? what will my babies think of me? what does god think of me????????? what do i do?

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, for one thing, I'd tell the whole story to your fiance.  If nothing else, you need a witness to tell your son, if ever he needs to know, when he is an adult.  (If you are not around.)  But also your fiance deserves to know the traumas you have been through, or else he will be unable to put your behavior into its proper perspective.

[sadhappyandconfused]

i want to talk to him, but see he has a little depression himself. His daughter was his whole world, he had every at least 2 or 3 times a week...if not everyday. Then when his ex found out he had a girl she took her away for a whole YEAR and made her hate him. Telling her lies. Now we get to see her again and things are a little better but we only see her a few times a month. He gets so sad, he misses her alot. I feel bad, becuz of me, he lost his daughter. Even though i didnt do anything wrong and his ex would of done it with any other girl he got with...i still hate what happend to him. He gets depressed over that, he has alot mood changes. One day we are so madly in love and the next day he wont even look at me. It kills me inside. In the beggining i would cry and get so depressed when he would do thing like that. Now i try to just be normal and wait till he feels better.I start to think he does it for other reasons than missing his daughter. I think maybe he might want out or someone else...thats when i start going crazy. Ive told him time and time again to not give me the cold shoulder , ignore my calls or text, or give me that "short talk"...but he keeps doing it and he always says the same thing..."i miss my daughter". Im to the point where i cry all most everyday. But like i said when he is happy,,,, our life is awesome! im so confused, hurt...everything wrapped into 1 :(

[AnnieBrooke]

Tell him anyway.  It's not your fault, what happened, and it's not your fault your fiance is depressed.  He deserves the truth about you, and you should stop hiding things from men and taking them into yourself in hopes of making all OK all the time.  Incidentally, once you are married, he should fight for custody.

[sadhappyandconfused]

have custody of both my kids...

[sadhappyandconfused]

thanks for all your advice. i think its time to talk about all this stuff with him and maybe a counselor or sumthn. i dont wana be unhappy

[barbraswitcandy]

hmmm...complicated story...my dear....u left a gambler which is not a bad thing...your child with your x...just make sure you see him all d time and av a good relationship with him......when hes old enuf...am sure he'll understand your actions.
let me point out your mistakes...when in a situation like dis...u dnt just go ahead with the next person you meet...no matter d similarities u both have..u need to take ur time and heal 1st and let ur emotional state be in the right frame..so u make the right choice.
your fiance..you need to be very understanding with him...cos he is going through alot now...dont get upset at him...just continue to support and be there for him and keep talking to him and also pray..there is nothing God cant do.