I think its over

[Omusicgame]

So i'm alone right now, a little sad.  My wife went to her parents, and i think it might be over.  We've been together for about 7 years and we've been married for about a year and a half.  But for those many years have been the most troubled for me.  Its been like Helter Skelter for both of us.  We have been in so many fights, and its come so close to where i thought really scary things.  I thought about physically hurting her, i know that sounds crazy, but in this much desperation ill do anything.  We prayed and prayed for things to get better, but the rollercoaster just kept coming.  I dont know, maybe this is better for both of us.  I kinda feel more free now, like im not trapped.  I felt that alot before.  Also I feel like i can do anything i want.  I dont know, i guess its good.  Part of me feels alone though, but i guess thats because i have been alone all day inside, thinking about it.  I just know breaking up is going to be much much harder for her than me, and that kinda hurts.  I think just because this is the beginning of something new, im kinda hurt.  Anyone have any advice?

[teko]

Tends to happen to most going thru the woes of marriage to the extent that you describe. I would be relieved as well. I would rather be alone that fight with someone 24/7. Sounds like it is a good thing to have put space between you at least for now. Take this time to reflect of what went wrong in the marriage, what caused you to turn to each other and fall in love to begin with and think about your role in making it ugly. Both people in a marriage are guilty, it is never just one of them.

They say there is a fine line between love and hate, and I think that is what you have been experiencing. Divorce is simply two people who have decided to not fight for what they once had or the committment they made to each other.  ONCE! Remember that day, when you looked into each others eyes and said those promises to each other? Where did it go bad? Reflect, communicate and decide.

[Judy246]

Be very careful of your decision with no regrets. You did take sacred vows for better or for worse. I noticed you wrote:

* Your a "little" sad
* Most troubled for "me"
* Relationship potentially violent, "I thought about physically hurting her"....(Red flag).
* You feel more free (not trapped)
* I can do what I want and you like this.
* Breaking up will be harder for her than you
* Beginning of something new


Although you are sadden and somewhat hurt by this seperation, I feel that you want out of this marriage. You feel trapped by marriaged . You might love her, but are no longer "in" love with her. If you feel that there is a chance of making your relationship work or reconciliation, then I advise a marriage counselor or priest (whatever religious denomination if applicable) to get down to the real problem in your marriage.

If after a short seperation, marriage counseling does not resolve your issues, seriously consider filing for a divorce and moving on with both your lives. Good luck...Judy