Aa
IM GOIN NUTS! lol
First off my girl friend and me are 9 years apart, shes 20 and im 29. We been seeing each other for like im ganna say 10 months but got series for 5 months of the year. When we first met, she was getting over a relationship gone bad and we met on myspace and went from there. I have a little girl from a ex marriage and shes great with her and still is and her mom and bro loves me and my doughter! Me and her are haven a baby, shes like 3 months, and sence me and her been to gether. We used to argue alot and still do pritty much sence we have been together. Umm her parents are not very close and her mom kinda spoils her but wants her to move in with me the problem is she does not show affection that much and has always been like that, im guessing becouse how parents where but resenly, about two or three weeks ago, we had a huge arguement and now she is ent close to me at all!! She still says i love you but had totaly changed and we hardly ever have sex. Shes still great with my doughter, but is very shady with me and shes spending alot of time on that damn myspace and never wants to go to my apartment or even be alone with me. We ve had these issues befor but now its bad, and when i try to talk to her about it she gets affensive and says im all ways complainning witch i dont!!! If i keep my mouth shut, every things cool except shes still noy showing any kind of affection and still always wants to be with mommy. lol Like we were looking for a apartment and now its like she just gave up and im really trying with her, im always sweet and i try to do stuff for her and she just like treats me like **** and i feel like walking a way couse now she even trying! But shes still really good with my child and its like she always wants me to stay at her moms with her and i m to old for sleep overs. lol Shes very insecure to and always been and like sence weve been together, she allways thinks im flirting with every girl we run in to. This is hard now couse now my doughter is involved and now we are haven a baby and every ones close except her and i.... And Oh and like i said, things are getting worse couse now she wont go to my place and i get her back side ever night when i sleep at her place with her and she kisses me or nothen, and she never wants to just be alone with me and i feel like her being pregent made this worse. please help me!!
It was not i who suggested adoption it was VHC09, but after reading all of your post, i really do not think that this marriage if it gets that far will last, it really does not matter who backs out just make sure when you say i do for life that it is what you want, and not what others want, you can always have part custody of your child, just remember marriage is fior life, and she may really want to grow some more, also it realy does not sound like she is ready to take such a step luck jo
Yeah i dont want any more kids either so no worries on that! lol But yeah like in my letter, im not really sure about marriage with her,i agree and as far as her wanting to back out, yeah that could be but it would look better on me if she did it and not me but that could be a posibilty, and her being pregnent could for sure be haven her wandering, but its got me doing that too but ill pry just slow it down and see what happens. lol!!
For the adoption, na i never gave up my doughter when my ex whife left us and im hopen she ll just let me have this new child but slim chance... lol A child needs its mom and dad no matter if they are seperated and i can affored this baby and i could never live with myself if i gave it up for adoption.
ME again. lol Yeah she is very spoiled and iv always noticed this with her sence iv been dateing her.... but on the other hand, shes done ALOT for me and my doughter and so has her mom and with this and her being pregnent really makes it hard. I really like her family, like i never had that kinda love really with my own and its like i have always tryed to talk to her and cousling i know for sure she would never go with her! We both are prideful but i come from a family that talks things out but one of my many falts is i have the fight or flight type deal and its becouse of my past relationships and i hate argueing and i hate when someone twists stuff around, and Like shes always in fight mode and shes always been the type that cant for give or nevers says sorry for any thing unless she gets cought or some how sees what she did and even then never says sorry! And i think its sad that i like being with her family and her mom better then with her and i cant really help my feelings on this!! And dont get me wrong, i make mastakes to and im not perfect, and im the first to tell her that but like her family knows how mean and how she gets and its sick how they just spoil her still!! Its like she cant get along with no one or to me!!! dang even my doughter said to me the other day that she wanted to stay with grammy while i go to work instead of my g f becouse she yells all the time and couse she yells at her daddy! Its like this girl treats me like ****, as far as how she talks, and like i feel like she thinks its all about her and to treat me like her f n dog and then expects me to be nice to her and keep my mouth shut! hahah And to tell ya the truth, when me and her first met, to me it was just for fun, to get to know her and i did not think it would of ever got this far! Her age and her unaffection and the fact we never did hardly any thing by our selves and her dang anger deal was why i did not wanna live with her and marrie her but it was like when i played hard to get, she was like really after me and would not leave me a lone then if i showed alittle towards her then it would be like a day or so, then she would go back to the way she is! I learned to love her for the times she was very nice or when me and her used to hang out at my place and stay up all night talking and watching movies and it aint like that any more:( IM 29 and shes 20 but i feel like im 20 and she acts like the 29 year old! lol!! I mean she was the one in the beginning talking like she wanted to be married and live together and i just kinda played along and down the road wanted to but now its like if shes gonna run to mommy when she feels unconfortable or wants to be spoiled or she does ent wanna respect me at all, then like im haveing my douts. Its like she only wants to please me when its convient for her, and that *****!! lol But like i said befor it is way worse now and befor, it was like she could ent be away from me or lose me and she tells me that i conplane to much and basicly, its becouse of that.... I hardly ever conplain to her about her, i try to keep quiet becouse if i say anything to her, she will blow up or just deny it! Man i went like a week of just hangen around her, not saying any thing that had to with me and her and dint try to kiss her or noughten just to see what she would of did and just the other day tryed to talk to her about us, the first in like week or so, and how shes been... she got all affenceive and like it started into a arguement becouse she like denyed everything she does and the the problem i said was we dont talk things out or have sex and we dont say nice things to eachother any more and like ima dude and ****, we need it just as much as chicks do! lol but iv never downed her in any way, never called her names nothing in that manner, and her mouth and her f n attatude, and theses games suck!!!! She tells me im crazy and she does ent know why i think this or to even say this couse she has ent done any thing to me!! hahahaha!! Whats weird is like she still gets jellous if i talk to anouther girl she does ent know and when im like you wanna break up or do you not like me any more or do you not wanna be married or live to gether any more, she like i dint say that or she says she does nt know why i say dum ****!! lol She still wants me to go places with her and fam and she still wants to be a mom to my doughter but the thing with me and her is getting worse, and like the no sex and the whole showing no affection *****. So its all very strange to me and she even said befor, if she dint like me, she would ent being doing this stuff or wanna be hangen out with me or doing stuff for my doughter but it might just be me, i d k! but never the less, i do love her but if ***** gonna be like this then its like i wanna slow it down, and its like im scared to even talk to her couse i know she ll get all been out of shape, so its like what do i do? lol!! I can go on and on about this as you can tell... lol im sorry, some times its nice to vent! But you know, i dont wanna be with some one i cant talk to or i gotta let stuff bottle up couse it just makes it worse and many people tell me to just move on and this aint good but i honestl feel bad for this girl, when she did talk a little to me, she did tell me she had her share of bad relationships and other guys did mean **** to her but i never did or said anything to make her to even get this way, And this one girl told me just the other day that she grew up with her and my g f never had many friends in school and she was always non-effection towards past bf so its like i wanna be different for her and iv always been like that and it seems like im always the one that gets hurt, and thats why iv stayed sigle becouse it always seems like i get involved with the real winners!!!!!! hahaha And they always get mad at me but mabe its couse i can handle things better, and i like to talk and listen and understand people, thats my gift i guess, but even with my friends! I hate drama and when i do try to move on with this girl, she like gives me a guilt trip, telling me that some times i have to put up or deal with things i dont want to basicly like how her parents are with each other and thats not what and this is ent what i want my doughter to see how two people are to be when they are in love! So i dont know, shes different id have to say and this **** is makeing me nuts!!!!!!!! hahaha Dr. phill aint got no pill for this one!!! hahaha jp!
you should see if she will give the child up for adoption. then it could have a stable married two parent household to be raised in. best for that kid, otherwise the chaos just continues to the next generation.
it sounds like she may be wanting to back out, are yoiu sure you want this marriage on her terms. if thei is doubt, just wait. and no more kids until marriage luck jo
Pregnancy can really effect woman. She is dealing with a hormone overload. It may just be the pregnancy that is effecting her sex drive. When I was pregnant sex was the absolute last thing on my mind lol
As to the other things, she does sound like a spoiled little girl the way she's acting(sorry)
You need to sit down with her and have a serious talk with her. Don't be accusatory. Don't say things like "You aren't showing me enough affection" instead phrase it like, "I would like more affection" just try not to phrase the stuff like you are blaming her you understand? But you need to get out all the things you are feeling and ask her how she feels about the situation. Then ask her what she thinks you can both do to help the relationship become stronger.
Since she is insecure I would recommend she goes to counseling to help her with her insecurities, or you can both go to couple's counseling to help you out.
BUT the biggest question is, do you see yourself with this girl in the future? Could you marry her and be happy with her or are you still with her only because she's having your child and she and your daughter love each other? You need to ask yourself this and if the answer is no, then there's no point pursuing a sexual relationship. your better off just being friends and being a father to the child.
As to the other things, she does sound like a spoiled little girl the way she's acting(sorry)
You need to sit down with her and have a serious talk with her. Don't be accusatory. Don't say things like "You aren't showing me enough affection" instead phrase it like, "I would like more affection" just try not to phrase the stuff like you are blaming her you understand? But you need to get out all the things you are feeling and ask her how she feels about the situation. Then ask her what she thinks you can both do to help the relationship become stronger.
Since she is insecure I would recommend she goes to counseling to help her with her insecurities, or you can both go to couple's counseling to help you out.
BUT the biggest question is, do you see yourself with this girl in the future? Could you marry her and be happy with her or are you still with her only because she's having your child and she and your daughter love each other? You need to ask yourself this and if the answer is no, then there's no point pursuing a sexual relationship. your better off just being friends and being a father to the child.
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