my depression is annoying

[Poptarts471]

Hard to explain, but here is the shorten verison of what I am going through.  So I have separation anxiety, from my house and my mother.  But when I get a boyfriend the roles change the "boyfriend becomes my separation anxiety".  It is like I can't be away him either in person or on the phone for too long of time. And when I am in a relantionship, I am never home and loose all contact with my family ok, I call them and I am home pretty much during the weekdays.  You know how everyone says go into a relantionship slowly well nothing about me is slow.  I jump in with 2 feet, and I give up my friends, family and things that I want to do.  So now I am just completely not going out or trying to meet guys or I am so covered up with layers..  Has anyone ever experience this before ?  or is it just me..

[younggrandmother]

You don't need to be SORRY it is what it is,and if you are getting counseling and being honest with your therapist you will learn how to be more independent.

[Poptarts471]

thank you for the advice, I am seeing a therapist and just so you know that separation anxiety is so not easy thing to get over, I am too sensitive

Sorry

[specialmom]

Hi,  I guess I am part of the chorus.  I think from your post that you know something is wrong.  Balance is key to being mature (ya know, dependent (as in KID), independent (single), interdependent (relationship).  That means you must first be an independent adult.  Then a relationship is give and take and NOT everything to you.  What are your passions in your own life?  What do you like about yourself?  What do you like to do all by yourself?  That is what you have to explore.  Otherwise you set up a very unhealthy scenario.  I have no doubt you would be able to find a man that would want this type of relationship for his own unhealthy reasons . . . but it has disaster written all over it.  So, I'd like you to fall in love with yourself before trying to date anyone.  If you can't control yourself enough to go out and not start pursuing someone, then you are in need of therapy as the others say.  The good thing about a therapist is the become your own private consultant for fixing the problems in your life.  Doesn't that sound great?  So try it and strive for that relationship that you so long for . . .but  not until you learn balance and to love yourself.  Good luck-----  it's never as easy to do as it is for others to tell you what to do.  (smile)

[Judy246]

You are 31 yrs old! I'm going to be real honest with you, I think it's time to seek a counselor or therapist to get to the root of your problems. Something has happened to you in the past either with family or relationships to have you so co dependent and insecure and this type of behavior is going to affect every relationship you will have, because no guy is going to be with someone who is emotionally overbearing, so don't be your own worst enemy and seek the proper treatment that will get you back on track to normal behavior. There is always hope with proper medicine and counseling. Good Luck  Judy

[younggrandmother]

I don't think you should stop going out and meeting people, Maybe you can try to be friends first, take it slow, get to know someone before you start a relationship.You said that you jump in with 2feet and this is not working for you ...you already know this is a problem.It is your choice to make a change. You don't need to stop loving you just need to change the way your doing it. I'm a firm be leaver in family and friends don't give them up for any man, or one day you will be left alone, there is enough time for everyone. How would you feel if one of your friends or family members stopped talking to you because they meet someone new.    I'm not sure what you mean about  layers please explain .

[teko]

Your profile says you are 31?  You have the kind of issues from someone much younger. That does not sound like depression to me, you might want to see a counselor.